ieatcrayonz Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 Uh oh.....trouble. When I got back from JC Penny with the packets I went right to Sammy's cage. No Sammy and the door was wide open. I have been hearing funny noises in here all night. I can't find him anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chef Jim Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Uh oh.....trouble. When I got back from JC Penny with the packets I went right to Sammy's cage. No Sammy and the door was wide open. I have been hearing funny noises in here all night. I can't find him anywhere. 691279[/snapback] Ever read Lovecraft's The Rats in the Walls? I bet Sammy has. Now that he can talk, maybe he'll read it to you sometime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a Hamster Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Okay. Dolt Boym is asleep. He is ine for some serious hurting nowb. For all twob years of my life I have put up with his crap. Hamster this Hamster that. I'm a GERBIL. G-E-R-B-I-L. Here's a clue idiot. Gerbils are neat and clean. Hamsters have more hair on their back than Khalid Sheik Muhammed. He fed me that stuffm like I was another loser species. A Guinea pig. What the hell? Sure I can talk and read now but I feel woozy and the only one I can talkx to is him. That's not a real big help. I'm going to plot his downfalle carefully. At first I thought, just feed him gel whilst he sleeps. Too easy and it might make him smarter. Relatively speaking that is. I'll get him but not that way. I do feel a little guilty because he has fed me all these years. Here's a tip though. We don't really like old toilet paper rols. We chew the to humor you. Paper towel rolls okayz. I peed on him to get him mad but the crapping was sort of a thank you before I do him in. He runsi around saying "how great is poo holes? How great is poo holes?" so I showed him my poo hole. P.S. Sorry for the typos. My tail kept hitting extrau keys and I didn't feelr like editingz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadBuffaloDisease Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I peed on him to get him mad but the crapping was sort of a thank you before I do him in. He runsi around saying "how great is poo holes? How great is poo holes?" so I showed him my poo hole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 What the???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartshan-83 Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I peed on him to get him mad but the crapping was sort of a thank you before I do him in. He runsi around saying "how great is poo holes? How great is poo holes?" so I showed him my poo hole. 691296[/snapback] Nicely done... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Okay. Dolt Boym is asleep. He is ine for some serious hurting nowb. For all twob years of my life I have put up with his crap. Hamster this Hamster that. I'm a GERBIL. G-E-R-B-I-L. Here's a clue idiot. Gerbils are neat and clean. Hamsters have more hair on their back than Khalid Sheik Muhammed. He fed me that stuffm like I was another loser species. A Guinea pig. What the hell? Sure I can talk and read now but I feel woozy and the only one I can talkx to is him. That's not a real big help. I'm going to plot his downfalle carefully. At first I thought, just feed him gel whilst he sleeps. Too easy and it might make him smarter. Relatively speaking that is. I'll get him but not that way. I do feel a little guilty because he has fed me all these years. Here's a tip though. We don't really like old toilet paper rols. We chew the to humor you. Paper towel rolls okayz. I peed on him to get him mad but the crapping was sort of a thank you before I do him in. He runsi around saying "how great is poo holes? How great is poo holes?" so I showed him my poo hole. P.S. Sorry for the typos. My tail kept hitting extrau keys and I didn't feelr like editingz. 691296[/snapback] Give him what he deserves. Find a paper towel tube and do a tapdance on his colon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 Sammy update: Sammy is in his cage with the door closed. Three more packets down and two more bottles of water. He's sleeping. Maybe he was in there the whole time and I just didn't see him. That door comes loose from time to time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cugalabanza Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 ...Sure I can talk and read now...691296[/snapback] Wow, a talking gerbil! You're gonna need a good agent. I see a Letterman appearance in your immediate future. Then, who knows--maybe your own daytime talk show. Can you do any singing/dancing? If not, no problem--we can set you up with lessons. Another thing: there are a lot of people out there who are gonna promise you a lot of cheese, but you have to be careful. Most of these scumbags just want to take advantage of you. You're gonna be getting a bunch of calls from a guy named Richard Gere. Very important: DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BB27 Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Okay. Dolt Boym is asleep. He is ine for some serious hurting nowb. For all twob years of my life I have put up with his crap. Hamster this Hamster that. I'm a GERBIL. G-E-R-B-I-L. Here's a clue idiot. Gerbils are neat and clean. Hamsters have more hair on their back than Khalid Sheik Muhammed. He fed me that stuffm like I was another loser species. A Guinea pig. What the hell? Sure I can talk and read now but I feel woozy and the only one I can talkx to is him. That's not a real big help. I'm going to plot his downfalle carefully. At first I thought, just feed him gel whilst he sleeps. Too easy and it might make him smarter. Relatively speaking that is. I'll get him but not that way. I do feel a little guilty because he has fed me all these years. Here's a tip though. We don't really like old toilet paper rols. We chew the to humor you. Paper towel rolls okayz. I peed on him to get him mad but the crapping was sort of a thank you before I do him in. He runsi around saying "how great is poo holes? How great is poo holes?" so I showed him my poo hole. P.S. Sorry for the typos. My tail kept hitting extrau keys and I didn't feelr like editingz. 691296[/snapback] ieatcrayonz!!!! The gerbil vermin is your enemy, he's plotting to kill you.............read the quote..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramius Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 i bet you sh-- a new color if you eat it . 691061[/snapback] If you want to sh-- a new color, just drink a sonic blue coconut slurpee. Trust me, it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ieatcrayonz Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 This is awful. Awful. I was at the fridge and heard a noise from the other room. When I went in Sammy had hung himself fom the light fixture using dental floss. I don't know how he would have got the floss. Maybe the silica had a subliminalogical effect or he just couldn't handle the pressure of being the only talking hamster in the world. I feel very sad for Sammy and I won't be eating any gel. I'm pouring my heart out here. Wait a minute. Someone is at the door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 This is awful. Awful. I was at the fridge and heard a noise from the other room. When I went in Sammy had hung himself fom the light fixture using dental floss. I don't know how he would have got the floss. Maybe the silica had a subliminalogical effect or he just couldn't handle the pressure of being the only talking hamster in the world. I feel very sad for Sammy and I won't be eating any gel. I'm pouring my heart out here. Wait a minute. Someone is at the door. 691405[/snapback] For God's sake crayonz whatever you do, don't answer the door! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a Hamster Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 For God's sake crayonz whatever you do, don't answer the door! 691409[/snapback] A word of advice. Stop trying to warn him. A. He doesn't read what you idiots post most of the time anyway and B. you don't want to be on my badm side. Let me just say BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. My planw worked to perfection. Last night I sent an e-mailx to the local gendarmmes. It claimed that dolt boy was abusive to animalsu at this location. Right on queue six patrol carsu arrive. Jackpot. They saw me hanging there and arrested his sorry keester. I almost screwed it up I was laughing so hard when he was explaining that I hung myself because I could talk and was depressed. You should have seen the look on that cop's face. This is the funniest/ thing since my big brother got his head stuck in the ceramic log at them pet store. I have the run of the house and he even left the refridgerator door openq. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a Hamster Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 All that planning for this? This is what you people keep in your precious refridgeratorsm? What is wrong with you? I'm going to try it but if I hadm to bet I think I'll be back to toilet paper rolls soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a Hamster Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 What's your favorite dish? Just interested because as you may guess I'm a Chef, or at least used to be one. Always very curious as to what other people, like you, like to eat. Gotta run, third period about to start. My best to Sammy. Hope he's ok. 690823[/snapback] Allow me to answer that question. You don't want to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadCap Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 In actuallity, if you were to eat a silica packet, it would turn to a small sand brick in your stomach (if you could actually swallow it) and probably not feel to good coming out. It is sand afterall... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a Hamster Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 In actuallity, if you were to eat a silica packet, it would turn to a small sand brick in your stomach (if you could actually swallow it) and probably not feel to good coming out. It is sand afterall... 691449[/snapback] Nice theory. But here I am. A typing gerbil. Explain that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Nice theory. But here I am. A typing gerbil. Explain that. 691452[/snapback] You're trying to find currency exchange rates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not a Hamster Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 You're trying to find currency exchange rates? 691470[/snapback] No. But I did just find a whole bunch in a drawer. They're yummy. Currency Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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