The Man

[ieatcrayonz]

Did you ever notice that when you buy a CONSUMER product like shoes there is always something in there called silica gel? The package always says "do not eat" on the outside.

 

Who would thik to eat it?

 

Does anyone else think this is the man's way of keeping us down? Maybe silica gel would give us super strength. This bugs me. Why not let us be free to eat what we want?

 

I am going to try a silica gel experiment. I am going to feed some to my little hamster Sammy and see what happens. I bet he gets really strong. I'll keep you up to date.

[cåblelady]

Why don't you eat some and tell us what happens.

[Dan Gross]

I put it on my cereal every morning. It's great! Try it!

[BB27]

My quack doctor told me to eat it to replace the Splenda in my diet.

 

Guaranteed to not cause fluttering of the heart.

[/dev/null]

Did you ever notice that when you buy a CONSUMER product like shoes there is always something in there called silica gel?  The package always says "do not eat" on the outside.

 

Who would thik to eat it?

 

Does anyone else think this is the man's way of keeping us down?  Maybe silica gel would give us super strength.  This bugs me.  Why not let us be free to eat what we want?

 

I am going to try a silica gel experiment.  I am going to feed some to my little hamster Sammy and see what happens.  I bet he gets really strong.  I'll keep you up to date.

690623[/snapback]

 

if everything works out with your hamster and you do finally decide to eat some silica, are you going to change your name to ieatsilicapackets

[MadBuffaloDisease]

Did you ever notice that when you buy a CONSUMER product like shoes there is always something in there called silica gel?  The package always says "do not eat" on the outside.

 

Who would thik to eat it?

 

Does anyone else think this is the man's way of keeping us down?  Maybe silica gel would give us super strength.  This bugs me.  Why not let us be free to eat what we want?

 

I am going to try a silica gel experiment.  I am going to feed some to my little hamster Sammy and see what happens.  I bet he gets really strong.  I'll keep you up to date.

On the back of those packets it says "do not feed to hamsters," but in REALLY small print because, after all, hamsters are small.

[Ramius]

Did you ever notice that when you buy a CONSUMER product like shoes there is always something in there called silica gel?  The package always says "do not eat" on the outside.

 

Who would thik to eat it?

 

Does anyone else think this is the man's way of keeping us down?  Maybe silica gel would give us super strength.  This bugs me.  Why not let us be free to eat what we want?

 

I am going to try a silica gel experiment.  I am going to feed some to my little hamster Sammy and see what happens.  I bet he gets really strong.  I'll keep you up to date.

690623[/snapback]

 

The cows put the warning labels on silica gel. They know that the only way us humans will be able to defeat their future uprising is to make ourselves stronger with silica gel. But, by putting the warning labels on, the cows keep us weak until their day comes.

[ieatcrayonz]

Sammy Update:

 

I put one of the packets in the cage. I slit it open and pulled back the paper to form a little bowl.

 

Sammy took a bite and made a funny look. It must have tasted good because he took a second bite. Bigger this time.

 

He twitched a little, then he twitched a lot. He took a very big drink of water and twitched some more. His mouth was making a gurgling noise.

 

He is taking a nap now. he looks very peaceful and is even sleeping with his eyes open.

[Guest Master Betty]

Sammy Update:

 

I put one of the packets in the cage.  I slit it open and pulled back the paper to form a little bowl.

 

Sammy took a bite and made a funny look.  It must have tasted good because he took a second bite.  Bigger this time.

 

He twitched a little, then he twitched a lot.  He took a very big drink of water and twitched some more.  His mouth was making a gurgling noise.

 

He is taking a nap now.  he looks very peaceful and is even sleeping with his eyes open.

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[ieatcrayonz]

This is a little weird. I just wrote the last update beacuse I was busy cooking up a few batches of my favorite dish for the last three hours.

 

Sammy is still asleep. That's a long nap for him. He still looks peaceful. He's so cute.

[Guest Master Betty]

This is a little weird.  I just wrote the last update beacuse I was busy cooking up a few batches of my favorite dish for the last three hours.

 

Sammy is still asleep.  That's a long nap for him.  He still looks peaceful.  He's so cute.

690704[/snapback]

 

How often do you have sex with your cat, on a per diem basis.

[The Dean]

Did you ever notice that when you buy a CONSUMER product like shoes there is always something in there called silica gel?  The package always says "do not eat" on the outside.

 

Who would thik to eat it?

 

Does anyone else think this is the man's way of keeping us down?  Maybe silica gel would give us super strength.  This bugs me.  Why not let us be free to eat what we want?

 

I am going to try a silica gel experiment.  I am going to feed some to my little hamster Sammy and see what happens.  I bet he gets really strong.  I'll keep you up to date.

690623[/snapback]

 

 

They don't look good and they smell like s#it...but they tast like Crayons! Yummy, yummy crayons.

[Hollywood Donahoe]

This is a little weird.  I just wrote the last update beacuse I was busy cooking up a few batches of my favorite dish for the last three hours.

 

Sammy is still asleep.  That's a long nap for him.  He still looks peaceful.  He's so cute.

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[Chef Jim]

This is a little weird.  I just wrote the last update beacuse I was busy cooking up a few batches of my favorite dish for the last three hours.

 

Sammy is still asleep.  That's a long nap for him.  He still looks peaceful.  He's so cute.

690704[/snapback]

 

What's your favorite dish? Just interested because as you may guess I'm a Chef, or at least used to be one. Always very curious as to what other people, like you, like to eat. Gotta run, third period about to start. My best to Sammy. Hope he's ok.

[ieatcrayonz]

Overnight Sammy News:

 

About 9:00 last night, I noticed Sammy was awake. The strange thing was that he seemed to be looking right at me and he look pissed. If I didn't know better I'd swear he was shaking his head no.

 

 

I went to see him about 11:00 before I went to sleep and things really went awry. I know it sounds crazy but Sammy kept pointing at the bag of silica gel and looking at me. He seemed to be pointing right at the part that said "do not eat". He'd point, then look at me, then eat some. He finished it all. Then he drank his whole bottle of water. That is a lot. It usually takes him like two weeks to finish a bottle.

 

He moaned and groaned. I guess the rapid muscle growth is painful. I didn't notice him getting any bigger though. This stuff isn't like gamma rays for the Hulk.

 

OK, here's the weirdest part. When he was done with that he had to go potty. instead of just letting loose like usual, he lifted his leg like a dog and peed in my general direction. He couldn't reach but most of it got on the table. Then he stuck his little butt between the bars and crapped on the table too. Gross. I cleaned it up before I went to sleep. THAT made for some weird dreams I'll tell you.

 

Right now he is asleep so I put a new packet and fresh bottle of water in the cage.

[MadBuffaloDisease]

What's your favorite dish?  Just interested because as you may guess I'm a Chef, or at least used to be one.  Always very curious as to what other people, like you, like to eat.

Um...crayonz?

[mead107]

i bet you sh-- a new color if you eat it .

[ieatcrayonz]

Sammy Flash:

 

You are NOT going to believe this one.

 

I was watching TV this morning and I hear a voice from the other room say: HEY! HEY! GET IN HERE.

 

I live alone so my first thought was that I had again forgotten to kick some chick to the curb after we were done. But the voice was a little different.

 

As I went past the dining room table on my way upstairs to investigate, I heard the voice again. HEY!

 

I looked over and the only thing there was Sammy in his cage. I started to walk away and Sammy stood up and yelled at me. I can't tell you what he said because it was a bad word. After almost fainting I asked him how the heck he could talk. He said to never mind that and asked why I fed him the gel. He said "It says right on there DO NOT EAT."

 

Then I asked him why he ate it. He said he could't read until he ate it. I pointed out it was a good thing because now he could read and told him to stop eating it if he wanted.

 

He said NO IT'S ADDICTIVE YOU TWIT. I NEED MORE.

 

I said it was worth it because hamsters ususally can't talk or read. He screamed at me very loudly "I AM NOT A FRIGGIN HAMSTER YOU IDIOT. I AM A GERBIL."

 

I have already come to a few conclusions from my silica gel experiment.

 

1. It doesn't make you super strong, it makes you super smart. No wonder the government says do not eat. They want to hold us back. I bet chinese people eat it all the time. They're all so smart.

 

2. In addition to making you smart it makes you mean. Sammy was always nice before. Now he's mean. Real mean.

 

3. Although it makes you smart it doesn't make you smart at everything. When I pointed out to Sammy that Hamster was just another word for Gerbil he could not grasp the concept. He said that Hamsters and Gerbils were different but I pointed out the words were just different. I even used the words "air" and "oxygen" as an example and he just got more angry. He told me I would pay.

 

4. I think he was right about paying. How many pairs of shoes am I going to have to buy to keep Sammy going? I've never stolen anything before but I think I'm going to go to JC Penny and stuff my pockets with gel.

 

I'll keep you up to date.

[Chef Jim]

Sammy Flash:

 

You are NOT going to believe this one.

 

I was watching TV this morning and I hear a voice from the other room say: HEY! HEY! GET IN HERE.

 

I live alone so my first thought was that I had again forgotten to kick some chick to the curb after we were done.  But the voice was a little different.

 

As I went past the dining room table on my way upstairs to investigate, I heard the voice again.  HEY!

 

I looked over and the only thing there was Sammy in his cage.  I started to walk away and Sammy stood up and yelled at me.  I can't tell you what he said because it was a bad word.  After almost fainting I asked him how the heck he could talk.  He said to never mind that and asked why I fed him the gel.  He said "It says right on there DO NOT EAT."

 

Then I asked him why he ate it.  He said he could't read until he ate it.  I pointed out it was a good thing because now he could read and told him to stop eating it if he wanted. 

 

He said NO IT'S ADDICTIVE YOU TWIT.  I NEED MORE.

 

I said it was worth it because hamsters ususally can't talk or read.  He screamed at me very loudly "I AM NOT A FRIGGIN HAMSTER YOU IDIOT.  I AM A GERBIL."

 

I have already come to a few conclusions from my silica gel experiment.

 

1. It doesn't make you super strong, it makes you super smart.  No wonder the government says do not eat.  They want to hold us back.  I bet chinese people eat it all the time.  They're all so smart.

 

2. In addition to making you smart it makes you mean.  Sammy was always nice before.  Now he's mean.  Real mean.

 

3. Although it makes you smart it doesn't make you smart at everything.  When I pointed out to Sammy that Hamster was just another word for Gerbil he could not grasp the concept.  He said that Hamsters and Gerbils were different but I pointed out the words were just different.  I even used the words "air" and "oxygen" as an example and he just got more angry.  He told me I would pay.

 

4. I think he was right about paying.  How many pairs of shoes am I going to have to buy to keep Sammy going?  I've never stolen anything before but I think I'm going to go to JC Penny and stuff my pockets with gel.

 

I'll keep you up to date.

691098[/snapback]

 

Next time you talk to Sammy, ask him if smoking it works too. Just curious.

[MadBuffaloDisease]

Who needs Jonny Coli's blog when...hey wait a minute!