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Meet The Demands Or Else...


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There is a serving of retatta stuffed in a cowbell. I have it lodged tightly under the chin of Ieatcrayonz, and I'm not afraid to use it unless the following TBD demands have been met by midnight tonight.

 

1) FAT must return. Countless people's lives are in dire need of unprofessional help, and since everyone knows the internet is the best place to get help for everything from your mortgage to a slight shoulder tear, someone needs to pick up the FAT bat and start swinging. I understand the former two FAT dudes are above it anymore, but with all the people here spending their days not working, surely someone can find a condescending tone and put it to use.

 

2) Someone must start another hockey thread as soon as humanly possible. It doesn't matter if it only says "YEAHHHHH! Flyers Suck!", or if it has yet another link to another fight or another body slam...it just doesn't matter. But we need another hockey thread. The number of hockey threads with no information in them should be increased to one new thread for every suddenly-new-but-I've-been-there-all-along Sabres fan.

 

3) The FU smilie has been gone long enough. Return it to the board because without it there is no way to fully express yourself these days.

 

4) Someone new must start flirting with Lana. We prefer it to be a woman this time, but we'll be happy with anyone new because watching the same people act like they have a shot at her is getting tedious.

 

5) The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec... In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement.

If these demands are not met by midnight tonight, Ieatcrayonz gets the retatta.

 

And for anyone else who spends all day on internet message boards and walks away at the end of the day feeling holier than thou, let me remind you that THIS would be the perfect place for the FU smilie.

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Funniest post in a while.

4) The following people are to be released from their captors: In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec... In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement.

669839[/snapback]

"Asian Dawn?"

"I read about them in Time."

 

;):w00t::w00t:

 

If these demands are not met by midnight tonight, Ieatcrayonz gets the retatta.

:D Man, I thought the last part was funny and then I read this.

 

Does Lana like younger men?

 

:)

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Please SDS, inform him that it is the policy of the current administration not to negotiate with extremists brandishing hostile threats. Especially when your collateral is IEATCRAYONZ.

 

By the way LA, I was very disappointed to see a demand for the return of FAT, but not the return of the BotD...Where's your priorities man??? :)

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Please SDS, inform him that it is the policy of the current administration not to negotiate with extremists brandishing hostile threats.  Especially when your collateral is IEATCRAYONZ.

 

By the way LA, I was very disappointed to see a demand for the return of FAT, but not the return of the BotD...Where's your priorities man???  :)

669886[/snapback]

Someone creative might use FAT to ask for the return of BotD.
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The number of hockey threads with no information in them should be increased to one new thread for every suddenly-new-but-I've-been-there-all-along Sabres fan.

669839[/snapback]

 

In my defense, although I seem like a "suddenly-new-but-I've-been-there-all-along Sabres fan", it's just that, now that its the playoffs and I get to watch them play, I actually have something to say...and, unlike most people, when I have nothing to say I simply don't say anything.

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LA,

 

If possible please add another (6th) demand that Johnny Coli revive his blog, or I could take your advice and wait for FAT.

 

Don't leave us hangin' Coli!!!

 

I'd be willing to help you out with number 4, but it's Stanley Cup playoff time and I'm in an emotionally fragile state right now. Plus as CTM knows, I'm new to the whole smiley thing, so therefore cannot convey emotion efficiently just yet. I'd go down in flames.

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LA,

 

If possible please add another (6th) demand that Johnny Coli revive his blog, or I could take your advice and wait for FAT.

 

Don't leave us hangin' Coli!!!

 

I'd be willing to help you out with number 4, but it's Stanley Cup playoff time and I'm in an emotionally fragile state right now. Plus as CTM knows, I'm new to the whole smiley thing, so therefore cannot convey emotion efficiently just yet. I'd go down in flames.

669916[/snapback]

 

Coli needs to get on his blog again.

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) FAT must return. Countless people's lives are in dire need of unprofessional help, and since everyone knows the internet is the best place to get help for everything from your mortgage to a slight shoulder tear, someone needs to pick up the FAT bat and start swinging. I understand the former two FAT dudes are above it anymore, but with all the people here spending their days not working, surely someone can find a condescending tone and put it to use.

 

I think you have the talent to revive FAT yourself.

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