StuckinRedskinland Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mead107 Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 baseball bat . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kegtapr Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. 661791[/snapback] Time for him to grow up. Give him advise and guidence but if he still chooses to !@#$ it up then that's his choice. Make him suffer the consequences of his actions though, don't bail him out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. 661791[/snapback] Sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stussy109 Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I'm a HS counselor by day... So I kind of see this stuff on a regular basis. The trick to getting through to him is acknowledging his feelings for this girl as legitimate, and that the love is real etc etc, however, you want to keep as many options open as possible! You dont want to close any doors available for yourself to walk through right now. WHile your love for your girl is priority #1, you also have to look out for yourself, because unfortunately statistics show that most relationships don't work. Give 100% towards your girl, however, keep moving forward with your own life as well as to not risk falling behind. Without a college degree, go over his options for jobs, and be like, do you want to raise a family while working at walmart, or being a secretary, or have to pick up a trade. Now not everyone without a college degree isn't necessarily "broke", however your chances for success, and your chances to get a a job where you can "prove yourself" are slim. Feel free to email me at Stussy109@aol.com, or your nephew could email me as well if he chooses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinandjokin Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 How's the girl look? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloBud Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Like Ron White says "You can't fix stupid." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
30dive Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 No guarantees but my cousin, who is about 10 years younger than me, was in the same boat school wise and girl wise. He chose the girl. Got married, got a job, they had a baby, after a few years he entered college. Today he is still married, has two kids, and will complete his interning in Seattle sometime this year. We too called him stupid for the choices he was making, but now we just call him doctor. Yes, this outcome is very unlikely, but it does happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayFinkle Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Honestly, more information on the situation is needed. I am not saying this to be mean but does he do alright with the ladies or is he kind of a dork? If he is kind of a dork, you are screwed. If he is an alright looking kid who has decent social skills, make a one year deal with him. Tell him to go away to school for one year, and if he still feels the same next summer, you'll totally support him. Trust me when I tell you, if he is an alright looking kid who discovers co-ed dorms and beer, he won't even remember his current honey's name until he needs a summer time booty call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajzepp Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I'm a HS counselor by day... So I kind of see this stuff on a regular basis. The trick to getting through to him is acknowledging his feelings for this girl as legitimate, and that the love is real etc etc, however, you want to keep as many options open as possible! You dont want to close any doors available for yourself to walk through right now. WHile your love for your girl is priority #1, you also have to look out for yourself, because unfortunately statistics show that most relationships don't work. Give 100% towards your girl, however, keep moving forward with your own life as well as to not risk falling behind. Without a college degree, go over his options for jobs, and be like, do you want to raise a family while working at walmart, or being a secretary, or have to pick up a trade. Now not everyone without a college degree isn't necessarily "broke", however your chances for success, and your chances to get a a job where you can "prove yourself" are slim. Feel free to email me at Stussy109@aol.com, or your nephew could email me as well if he chooses. 661827[/snapback] I think you're pretty much saying the same thing, but I think he needs to understand that by making the most out of the opportunities he has, he is loving her to a greater degree than if he just allowed them to pass him by. If he's really serious about this girl, then he should want to arm himself with the best tools for success in life that he can. Obviously a top notch education can open a hell of a lot of doors, and there's no reason that she can't go with him wherever it is that he decides to go. By settling for less than what he's capable of, he's basically saying that he's not concerned about the quality of their future together. Ultimately he's got to make the decision for himself, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taterhill Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 i can count on one finger the amount of my buddies that married their High School sweetie early..and are still married... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurlyBurly51 Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I thought you said he was smart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConradDobler Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 What are the girl's thoughts on all this? "Ooooh honey, you're more worried about college than about me?" If so, time to take a hike. Tell him not to let the little head do the thinking for the big head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meazza Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. 661791[/snapback] Sometimes trying to force a kid to do the right thing will actually backfire. My family was always pushing me to work hard in school and i just didnt' care, but it took me getting kicked out of university to wake up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of BiB Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. 661791[/snapback] Perhaps if this is "true love and committment" he takes his scholarship, gets a worthwhile degree and she lives with him in a little apartment somewhere, working at the IHOP to make ends meet. When he gets hired by the Fortune 100, if she still wants to go to school, she goes then. Why? Because it sounds like practically speaking he has the better chance of using the available opportunities to enhance both their futures as a couple right now. See how far THAT one floats. Real love means putting each other first, not one or the other. And, if it's not "real love", that will prove itself within the first year. Relationships are made more by jointly dealing with adversity than they are going out on Saturday night with no real overhead to worry about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Well, he won't be the first or last guy on the planet to ruin a bright future because he doesn't rule his own dick. Wish him luck now and laugh like a hyena at him when it blows up in his face in a couple of years- because that's what guys do. If he's lucky, it'll happen before he has kids. Tell him he should move out now, while he still knows everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. 661791[/snapback] First of all, he's 17 - parents are legally allowed to prevent marriage before 18. Second - after they get married, where are they staying and who is paying for the lodging? If her parents are footing the bill - hey, it happens. But if his parents (your family members) are footing the bill, then why aren't you yelling at them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rev.Mattb74 ESQ. Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have a nephew who is so talented and smart, he recieved free rides to every college he appied for. When he graduatesfrom high school this May he will have 35 college credits. He is so damn smart, yet he gave up his academic future so he can marry his girl firend. No job,no plan of how he will get a job. He wants to go to a school that she can get into and he won't recieve any aid at all. It is so frustration he won't listen to anyone. I have a feeling if he "READS" that "they don't have a chance to make it" he might second guess his decision. They want to get married this July and start college in Aug. Does anyone out there know of a site that can explain "LIFE" to a 17 year old who knows it all. So sort of financial site that might explain what he is facing and up against. I do appreciate any ideas that you might have. 661791[/snapback] The man I admire most in this world is my father. I remember when I was graduating and looking at going into the service the different recruiters where coming over to the house. When the one recruiter(I will leave the branch of service he was in off because I think all branches of service are good and I do not want to makeone look bad) he was telling me and my parents of all the success waiting for me if I joined his branch. I will never forget what happened next the recruiter looked at my father and said you dont want your son working at Perkins the rest of his life do you. My father replied the world needs people who work at Perkins. I ultimatley chose to join the Army and have lead a very fulfilling life then and since I got out. but if I had decided to stay local and work at Perkins it was nice to know that my father would have been proud of me just as much as being a veteran. By the way my father and mother where married at 18, my father dropped out of school and became a truck driver to support his new wife and me who was on the way. My parents have been happily married for 33 years and my father has become successful at his profession, both financially and in the eyes of his peers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rastabillz Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I think you're pretty much saying the same thing, but I think he needs to understand that by making the most out of the opportunities he has, he is loving her to a greater degree than if he just allowed them to pass him by. If he's really serious about this girl, then he should want to arm himself with the best tools for success in life that he can. Obviously a top notch education can open a hell of a lot of doors, and there's no reason that she can't go with him wherever it is that he decides to go. By settling for less than what he's capable of, he's basically saying that he's not concerned about the quality of their future together. Ultimately he's got to make the decision for himself, though. 661960[/snapback] That was beautiful man, really. Your too young to be a wise old man AJ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweet baboo Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Time for him to grow up. Give him advise and guidence but if he still chooses to !@#$ it up then that's his choice. Make him suffer the consequences of his actions though, don't bail him out. 661816[/snapback] Sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes. 661819[/snapback] precisely...most people won't learn stojan until it happens to them personally i waited 7 years after HS to marry my high school sweetheart ...though we didn't plan on getting married during or immediately after HS anyway it just doesn't make any sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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