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Posted

Ok so I know it sounds weird, but I'm a second year law student and other than reading the front page of the drudge report once a week in class I really have been so swamped I have not read ANYTHING about the Bills in the news. Having just gotten a bunch done I have started the process of reading all the articles on the news page, but there are so many of them. Could someone PLEASE recap our offseason for me? I know Mularkey left, but all I have heard is he was unhappy with the direction the team was going. What is Losman's status? I saw my first game ever in Buffalo when they played Atlanta and he looked simply terrible. I appreciate any info you give me. I value all the members of this board.

Posted
Don't every one talk at once.

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Folks don't want to take the time to type several pages to make up for your failure to keep up.

 

Only in your parent's eyes, are you precious and special. To the rest of us, you come off as lazy - and presumptuous. :D

Posted

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 

 

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

 

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

 

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the Impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you

forgot?

 

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

 

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

 

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

 

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

 

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

 

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

 

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

 

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

 

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

 

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

 

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

 

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

 

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

 

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

 

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did u check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

 

:D

Posted
Folks don't want to take the time to type several pages to make up for your failure to keep up.

 

Only in your parent's eyes, are you precious and special.  To the rest of us, you come off as lazy - and presumptuous. :D

601879[/snapback]

Objection sustained. :lol:

Posted

Oh cincy, you cut to the heart of me, please I beg to be back in your good graces (please note my sarcasm and incredible loathing). The request was just for a couple short lines (thank you Clements 22). HAHA Senator I love those, I read that book last year. Yeah tennesee they have been working us pretty hard, plus I volunteer for the PD's office whenever a I get minute.

 

I'll just recap and please correct me if i am wrong, since cincy would rather type smack than be cool with a stranger. As far as I can tell we 1)- lost mularkey 2)- still dont know what's going on at QB 3)- Still havent addressed Clement's contract 4)- Hired Jauron (did he run away with it or was it really between him and Sherman?) 5)- Haven't decided what to do with Moulds and Mike Williams? (I know they have huge cap numbers this year)

 

PS- has there been any news on Takeo and if/how he has been recovering?

Posted

For those of you (other than cincy, who can die slowly) who read my comment as annoying, I apologize. My sarcasm WAS meant as a joke. One that obviously failed.

Posted

can you read ? I have no idea what has happened. sounds like you know everything to me or as much as everyone else around here . :D:lol:

Posted

yeah I probably should have done that in the first place. I blame it on taking too many depositions and getting used to just asking questions. Was I wrong about anything?

Posted
Ok so I know it sounds weird,  but I'm a second year law student and other than reading the front page of the drudge report once a week in class I really have been so swamped I have not read ANYTHING about the Bills in the news. Having just gotten a bunch done I have started the process of reading all the articles on the news page, but there are so many of them. Could someone PLEASE recap our offseason for me? I know Mularkey left, but all I have heard is he was unhappy with the direction the team was going. What is Losman's status? I saw my first game ever in Buffalo when they played Atlanta and he looked simply terrible. I appreciate any info you give me. I value all the members of this board.

601826[/snapback]

 

Recap:

The Bills are racist for not hiring a black coach.

Black Coaches are better than white coaches.

The Bills need more white players.

The University of Miami hasnt turned out any good football players since the mid 80's.

Posted
Recap:

The Bills are racist for not hiring a black coach.

Black Coaches are better than white coaches.

The Bills need more white players.

The University of Miami hasnt turned out any good football players since the mid 80's.

601938[/snapback]

 

And dont forget, the Super Bowl was fixed!

Posted

We had a good time at the Season Opener and we won.

 

Our game against New Orleans was moved to San Antonio.

 

Don't care much about the off season - there are no tailgate parties.

 

:D

Posted
For those of you (other than cincy, who can die slowly) who read my comment as annoying, I apologize. My sarcasm WAS meant as a joke. One that obviously failed.

601925[/snapback]

 

Nice backpeddle... :D

Posted
Let's see...

 

BF created Retatta

Meazza came out of the closet.

Ed was 0wned by the greatest mind in the Crayola Universe.  :D

601984[/snapback]

Oh, and we started to refer to ieatcaryonz as "the poster formerly known as BF" or PIMP...(Poster IMPoster).
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