nick in* england Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old Bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went "BANG! BANG!" Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor. The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoachChuckDickerson Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Funny joke but.... I liked Aussie's delivery better!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guffalo Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Funny joke but.... I liked Aussie's delivery better!!! 591187[/snapback] Yeah, but Nick did it with an English accent, it sounded so much more high brow.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nick in* england Posted February 1, 2006 Author Share Posted February 1, 2006 oops! oh well a good joke always makes me feel better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puhonix Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Yeah, but Nick did it with an English accent, it sounded so much more high brow.... 591193[/snapback] "Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent." Name that movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverNRed Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 "Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent." Name that movie. 591263[/snapback] Robin Hood: Men in Tights "We didn't land on Sherwood Forest, Sherwood Forest landed on us!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarkLessWagMore Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi, there, good looking'! How's it going'?" Having already downed a few power drinks she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, . . . "Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked, with clothes on, dirty, clean and sweet, it just doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college..... I just flat-a** love it!" Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer, too! What firm are you with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted February 1, 2006 Share Posted February 1, 2006 Moved out to the hills of Carter County Tennessee after a divorce. One day a truck pulls up and a grizzled old hillbilly pulls up, missing teeth, unshaved, smelly with filthy clothes and a corncob pipe. "HA neighbor Ha'r yew? Come up to invite you to a party at my place on Saturday." "Nah...I said...going through a divorce, don't much feel like partying." "Oh come on" said the hillbilly...there's going to be gamblin and drinkin, and singin and dancin and fightin and !@#$ing." I thought about it and said "Okay..I'll be there...what should I wear?" The Hillbilly said "Doesn't matter, It's just gonna be you and me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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