taterhill Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Please take a moment and help me through this difficult time...
mead107 Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 was it hot chili ??? prayers are on the way , hope my prayers do not stink .
Movinon Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I think the chili excuse is a cover-up to what really happened; perhaps to much brokeback mountain going on?
smokinandjokin Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Please take a moment and help me through this difficult time... 589727[/snapback] Ah yes tater, we have all had one too many hot peppers in our day. Thoughts and prayers for the total domination of several men's rooms over the next 24 hours.
sweet baboo Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 i hope you shaved or waxed your butthole, in case your arse hair that it acts like a hammock for his droppings
taterhill Posted January 31, 2006 Author Posted January 31, 2006 Ah yes tater, we have all had one too many hot peppers in our day. Thoughts and prayers for the total domination of several men's rooms over the next 24 hours. 589738[/snapback] there is just one bathroom in our office(5 of us here)...my poor poor co-workers...
ajzepp Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 i hope you shaved or waxed your butthole, in case your arse hair that it acts like a hammock for his droppings 589767[/snapback] LMFAO....I forgot about that thread.....that was some funny sheeat
KD in CA Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 I think the chili excuse is a cover-up to what really happened; perhaps to much brokeback mountain going on? 589737[/snapback] Well if it was Wendy's chili, he could be ready to pass a finger....
billsfanmiami(oh) Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Make good use of the courtesy flush. God speed...
Guffalo Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Well if it was Wendy's chili, he could be ready to pass a finger.... 589994[/snapback] Is this the Brokeback Mountain thread....what goes in must come out?
stuckincincy Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Please take a moment and help me through this difficult time... 589727[/snapback] Always keep a tube of Preparation H in your medicine cabinet. If you are a first-time buyer, hunt down the original formula tube with shark oil. It's still sold. The new formulation is not as effective. You need not use the nozzle - a general smearing works well for your described problem. Gawd, I hate saying things like that... Take this advice seriously, from an ancient who unfortunately knows about such ...
\GoBillsInDallas/ Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Always keep a tube of Preparation H in your medicine cabinet.590049[/snapback] Preparation H: The 2nd most shoplifted item out of drug stores today.
/dev/null Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 i'll light a fart and burn some incense for you
EZC-Boston Posted January 31, 2006 Posted January 31, 2006 Are Frank from this story?: INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how True this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome! INEXPERIENCED CHILI TASTER Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who had moved to Texas from the East Coast: Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted." Here are the scorecards from the event: _________________________________________________________ CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick. JUDGE TWO: Nice,smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. FRANK: Holy sh--, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. _______________________________________________________ CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang. JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. __________________________________________________________ CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans. JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh---faced from all the beer. ___________________________________________________________ CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. B word is starting to look HOT just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac? _______________________________________________________ CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive. JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks! ________________________________________________________ CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic Superb. FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I sh-- myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone! ________________________________________________________ CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like sh-- to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. __________________________________________________ CHILI # 8 TOM'S HOTTER THAN A TEXAS SUMMER CHILI JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence. JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild or hot Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?
taterhill Posted February 1, 2006 Author Posted February 1, 2006 tater , how is your ass 590227[/snapback] the funny part of it all is my son shat up his back today...good times
KD in CA Posted February 1, 2006 Posted February 1, 2006 Preparation H: The 2nd most shoplifted item out of drug stores today. 590170[/snapback] No surprise there. Those old fogies are serious kleptos. "I'm an old man!! I'm confused!!"
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