NavyBillsFan Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor. "You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's turnin' blue." "That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you." The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really was blue. The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?" "Yep, shore am," she replied brightly. "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?" "Grape." Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. >> The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the >> bush.You have AIDS". >> >> Bob is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?" >> >> "Eat 1 sausage,1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot >> sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,! 1 huge box of >> Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." >> >> Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?" >> >> Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of >> what your ass is for." HER SIDE OF THE STORY My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We had planned to meet at a cafe for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him upset, but I could tell there was something wrong. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to someplace intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant, and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really worried. What did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me? I tried to cheer him up, but what was bothering him - was it me or something else? I finally asked him if he was upset with me, he said no. But I wasn't really sure. In the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the heck that meant because, you know, he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I wanted to confront him but didn't, so I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else. HIS SIDE OF THE STORY Played badly today --- shot 97 - - -can't putt for sh--! Felt kind of tired; got laid though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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