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Need Prayers For My Father


IDBillzFan

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Really, he COULD have picked someone better than Harry Chapin.  I mean "Cats in the Cradle" can only take you SO far.

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Don't prod the bear you idiots. That song was by Gordon Lightfoot before he turned islamic. I doubt he reads this site, but if he does he'll probably target Buffalo because you did not give him proper credit. Maybe he kidnapped LA's dad.

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Thanks, everyone, for your kind thoughts. We have been unable to find my father, however eyewitness accounts just outside of Barstow note that a checkered taxi was found out of gas and abandoned on the roadside, and two sets of footprint are found leading into the town. Apparently my father picked someone up, and by the looks of the hoof prints, it appears to be a women.

 

The only things found in the car were a roach in the ashtray, an unopened condom, an eight-track of Jerry Reeds' Greatest Hits looped to ""Westbound and Down," and a napkin sketch showing how to drive a semi.

 

If I hear more, I'll keep you posted.

586695[/snapback]

 

I'll catch that possums pecker

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Thanks, everyone, for your kind thoughts. We have been unable to find my father, however eyewitness accounts just outside of Barstow note that a checkered taxi was found out of gas and abandoned on the roadside, and two sets of footprint are found leading into the town. Apparently my father picked someone up, and by the looks of the hoof prints, it appears to be a women.

 

The only things found in the car were a roach in the ashtray, an unopened condom, an eight-track of Jerry Reeds' Greatest Hits looped to ""Westbound and Down," and a napkin sketch showing how to drive a semi.

 

If I hear more, I'll keep you posted.

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"... hoof prints..." ?!?!?

:doh:

 

Good luck with your dad and all, but I'm starting to wonder about you....

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Any news?

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Funny you should ask. :angry:

 

He was recently spotted in a town in the Midwest after eluding Canadian boarder patrol. He apparently stopped off at Tanners Cleaners, and the owner of the store, Martin Tanner, said a man fitting my father's description had pulled up to his store driving a stolen 18-wheeler carrying 30,000 pounds of Chiquitas. Apparently he stopped by to have Tanner clean his "I Love Lucy" boxers. It was a dead giveaway as my father only ever had that one pair of boxers, given to him by a guy in the room next to his who ran around naked playing the bongo drums and insisting everyone at the hospital call him Bobalu.

 

And it makes sense he would take them to Tanner. Of all the cleaning shops around, he made his the best. Which is no small feat for a man who was also known as being a pretty decent baritone. According to local officials, he'd practice scales while pressing tales.

 

He was last seen heading due east. At his current pace, he should be nearing Pennsylvania shortly. Possibly Scranton.

 

(I fear R. Rich is about the only person who is really following this at this point. But thanks for the gratuitous bump.)

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It's these pulling-at-your-heartstrings human interest stories that keep me coming back to the Wall in the off-season. Soon the whole country will be rooting for this gentle renegade and his truck full of stolen bananas.

 

Viva plátanos robados, El Padre de Los Angeles BillzFan!

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I'll keep that in mind the next time I order one of those pear/fig/onion pizzas.

 

Gag.

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You're right. You HAVE to wonder about a review from anyone who would order that pizza rettata.

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My father has been ill for some time, suffering from mental lapses that aren't so much Alzheimers, but rather a version of it that recently had high hopes of eradication due to a radical genetic ablation of inducible nitric oxide synthase.

 

It worked for a while, but he's over 80 years old, and now, suddenly he is back to being forgetful, and in many cases is convinced he is Harry Chapin. He checked himself out of Thousand Oaks Medical Center and the last person to see him said he was driving a checkered yellow taxi headed for Hollywood yelling "Keep the change! Keep the change!"

 

If you could squeeze him in, I'd appreciate it.

(Oh, please. Do not take life so seriously.)

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Hope all is well.

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Don't prod the bear you idiots.  That song was by Gordon Lightfoot before he turned islamic.  I doubt he reads this site, but if he does he'll probably target Buffalo because you did not give him proper credit.  Maybe he kidnapped LA's dad.

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Wrong. It was by Loggins and Messina before Messina joined Al'Queda and Loggins did Footloose. God, I hate Kenny Loggins.

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And yet, who is really worried about him?

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Apparently no one is worried about him now because his prayers are now being whored up by some dude's co-worker. I mean, seriously. Who gives a rat's ass about a co-worker? I mean...other than Wade Phillips, who really cares what happens to a co-worker?

 

My dad on the other hand? Dying slowly. For lack of prayers.

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