NavyBillsFan Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill? A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar. Q: What do Billy Graham and the Buffalo football team have in common? A: They can both make a stadium of 50,000 people say "Oh, Jesus." When speaking "the" precedes the number or name of any highway (The Scajaquada, The 33, The 290) Snow tires come standard on your car. You can identify an "Alden" accent. You have gotton frost bitten and sunburned in the same weekend "Down south" means Gowanda You bake with "soda" and drink "pop". Stop/Slow/Yield Signs..are suggestions. You can hold an entire conversation on the best place to go for wings, a fishfry or pizza. You see nothing wrong with watching fireworks downtown on July 2nd. You not only know what the terms "snowbelt" and "lake effect" mean - you use them on a daily basis. You save the Genny Cream Ale for special occasions. You live within 1 mile of a bowling alley. Not only do you know what it is... but you look forward to "Dingus Day" You never put your winter jacket away for the summer. You like to order beef on "weck" and are always surprised when someone doesn't know what "weck" is. You drive over 70mph on the Thruway and pass on the right. You leave your ski lift tickets on your jacket year round. You know how to pronouce, Scajaquada, Cheektowaga and Depew. The rest of the country is snowbound in the worst blizzard of the century, but you still have to walk your kids to the corner to catch the school bus. You think nothing of crossing an international border for Chinese Food. The acid rain is clearer than your drinking water. When you stop and ask for directions ... you expect to get them. You don't think Canada is to the north ... you know it's to the West. You keep the snowplow on the front of the truck year round. You have a favorite Greek restaurant. When someone says they are from "the City" - you ask "Which one?" You think Jimmy Griffin is a "real" politician You can compute a wind chill "factor" You eat Orange Chocolate. You don't have to attend the Friendship Festival to hear it! You know the difference between imported and real Canadian beer. You have not been on the "Maid of the Mist" - unless you had out of town company. You've dined at "Theodore's on the Lake". You immediatley change the channel when you hear "Hi! this is Goldie Gardner...". The winter carnival gets rained out. You call them "Pilot Field" and the "Aud" - no matter what the signs say. You define summer as three months of bed sledding. Your kids have watched Sesame Street - in French and Spanish. You don't get a coughing fit from one sip of Vernors. "Gridlock" means driving home from a football game. You wince when someone uses the abbreviation "OJ". "Rapid Transit" means hitting all the green lights. 50 degrees -- New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in Buffalo plant gardens. 40 degrees -- Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Buffalo sunbathe. 35 degrees -- Italian cars won't start. People in Buffalo drive with the windows down. 32 degrees -- Distilled water freezes. Buffalo water gets thicker. 20 degrees -- Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Buffalo throw on a T-shirt. 15 degrees -- Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Buffalo go swimming. Zero degrees -- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Buffalo have the last cookout before it gets cold. 10 degrees below zero -- People in Miami cease to exist. People in Buffalo lick flagpoles. 20 degrees below zero -- Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Buffalo throw on a light jacket. 40 degrees below zero -- Hollywood disintegrates. People in Buffalo rent videos. 60 degrees below zero -- Mt. St. Helens freezes. Buffalo Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. 80 degrees below zero -- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Buffalo Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 100 degrees below zero -- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Buffalo pull down their ear flaps. 173 degrees below zero -- Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Buffalo get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs. 297 degrees below zero -- Microbial life start to disapear. Buffalo cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 degrees below zero -- ALL atomic motion stops. People in Buffalo start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 degrees below zero -- Hell freezes over. Buffalo wins the Stanley Cup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BILLS4LIFE Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 What do the Bills and a possum have in common? They both play dead on the road! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SACTOBILLSFAN Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Way to end my noon to 7 am workday on a laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkman Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Way to end my noon to 7 am workday on a laugh! 570539[/snapback] I thought I had bad hours (3am-3pm). Those hours SUCK. You work 19 hours days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyBillsFan Posted January 17, 2006 Author Share Posted January 17, 2006 Those are some hours man! We had that on the Truman during the war. I forgot what the hell sleep was! Get some rest man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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