aussiew Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! Strange Things Some of the strange stuff we do: #1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? #2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no money in the account? #3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? #4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? #5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? #6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? #7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? #8...Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? #9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? #10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? #11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? #12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? #13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? #14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? #15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? #16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? #17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" #18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? #19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? #20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? #21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it? #22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving! #23...And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodBye Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Those are pretty good! I always wondered about #16. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerball Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Humor? Happy New Year Diane! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movinon Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 16 is mind boggling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
/dev/null Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 Why is it that a Bond villian can aim and empty a the clip of an automatic rifle and hit nothing but windows, rails, the wall, etc, while Bond can fire 1 shot out of a small handgun in the middle of a back flip and hit the villain right between the eyes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 How many of those do you actually want to know the answer to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Jack Posted December 30, 2005 Share Posted December 30, 2005 #17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" 545574[/snapback] Happened to me just last Friday. I felt a bit a pressure on my backside from the persons cart, then a little more, then even more. So I reached behind me, and pushed the cart back at them. They did the "oh, sorry", I didn't say anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cåblelady Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Happened to me just last Friday. I felt a bit a pressure on my backside from the persons cart, then a little more, then even more. So I reached behind me, and pushed the cart back at them. They did the "oh, sorry", I didn't say anything. 545919[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BILLS4LIFE Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Happened to me just last Friday. I felt a bit a pressure on my backside from the persons cart, then a little more, then even more. So I reached behind me, and pushed the cart back at them. They did the "oh, sorry", I didn't say anything. 545919[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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