VABills Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. Then, I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."? This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey,"I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors ... They didn't open. ...The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was ?Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered to vote as a Democrat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 And it is written - "He Shall Feel Your Pain". Ye shall be Richly pardoned. And live in the Land of "Is" forever and ever. Pick up your check at window #2. We habla espana. Mail in this coupon for your very own 5 lb. Bible. Please take a copy of our publication, "Lip Biting for Effect" before you leave. Absentee ballots available via special order - please state quantity desired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 I don't think this is going to help you in your plea bargain, Scooter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 It all started out very innocently. I never dreamed in my wildest imagination that this was the beginning of an illness. An illness that would rob me of my sanity, my families trust, and more importantly my own self respect. It robbed me of the wonderful life that I had known and little did I know that my life would never be the same. For about the first seven months or so, it seemed like I won debates most of the time. And I would listen to Limbaugh three or four times a week and often just for a few hours. Then I started losing to educated people. I started subscribing to those Limbaugh Letters. And I would justify using this by thinking I've got to win my debates -- I've got to win back my lunchroom and I'll pay these astronomical bills and then I'm finished with political rambling. Well, that never happened. And I'd like to also mention that prior to political rambling on this message board. I was a very responsible person. My wife often said that I didn’t need to stretch one single point into twenty minutes of mindless drivel. And I was really responsible in every aspect of my life. I've raised three children, I've taught them to be honest and I don't know what came over me other than I'm compulsive when it came to political rambling. At work and on the message boards, logic didn't have any value to me whatsoever; it was just a means to play. I didn't give a thought to what I was doing to myself or to my family, the only thing that mattered was staying in the debate. Sometime in 2005, I knew I had a problem. My marriage was on the rocks, and at that time I was lonely I felt that my wife didn't really care about me. My children were grown. They didn't need me anymore so I would listen to Limbaugh. And when I wasn't listening to Limbaugh I might as well have been because my thoughts were always his. In Dec. of 2005, I finally maxed out all five of my credit cards. And these were cards that were used only for books on political rambling, Coulter, Hannity, etc. I needed to go to the dentist, but yet I couldn't afford to, but I could afford Malkin’s books. I wouldn't buy myself anything, all of my money went for my addiction. Finally, enough was enough, I started dating a woman half my age and began taking oxycotin. Hell, it works for me, and now I have a fistful of singles for the strippers at Sundowners that would have previously gone to conservative hacks. The wife is happy, the kids talk to me again, and people sit next to me in the lunchroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 It started out innocently enough.I began to think at parties now and then -- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. Then, I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?" One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."? This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey,"I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors ... They didn't open. ...The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was ?Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me. Today, I registered to vote as a Democrat. 531936[/snapback] Is this your idea of an "intelligently designed" joke? Right, a republican listening to NPR or reading philosophy? The same party who worships at the foot of the most anti-intellectual President in US history is the "thinking party"? Please. This is the party that mocks all college professors as "eggheads". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 I like Imus in the Morning, but when I leave my office I catch a few snippets of some guy named Sean Hannity. Believe me VA..you Republicans aren't thinkers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRC Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Is this your idea of an "intelligently designed" joke? Right, a republican listening to NPR or reading philosophy? The same party who worships at the foot of the most anti-intellectual President in US history is the "thinking party"? Please.This is the party that mocks all college professors as "eggheads". 532037[/snapback] Lost your sense of humor today? So, how long before you feel the need to post a joke in retaliation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Is this your idea of an "intelligently designed" joke? Right, a republican listening to NPR or reading philosophy? The same party who worships at the foot of the most anti-intellectual President in US history is the "thinking party"? Please.This is the party that mocks all college professors as "eggheads". 532037[/snapback] Whats your point? Your thong a little tight today. twas a yoke Mick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blzrul Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 He really meant "stinker" but between his poor spelling and typing skills, it came out wrong. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Whats your point? Your thong a little tight today. twas a yoke Mick. 532096[/snapback] "Democrats are stupid" hyuk, hyuk, yuk. Sorry, that joke was 99% insult and 1% funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 "Democrats are stupid" hyuk, hyuk, yuk. Sorry, that joke was 99% insult and 1% funny. 532288[/snapback] Where in there, does it say that Democrats are stupid? It was easy to see that the tongue was placed firmly into the check. Hook, line and sinker, Mickster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Lost your sense of humor today? So, how long before you feel the need to post a joke in retaliation? 532068[/snapback] Duhhh, democrats are stupid, duhhh, huhh, duhhhh, yuk, yuk. You know, my initial post ended with the words "And here is the part where you righties accuse me of not having a sense of humor for not finding mean spirited insults to be very funny." I deleted that part to give you guys the benefit of the doubt. I laugh at jokes, at least the good ones. I don't laugh at insults. This was both, a joke and an insult. I think this is the typical insult thinly disguised as a joke, and a bad one at that, which so often makes an appearance here. It reminds me of the same response I get when I point out the kind of thing Ann Coulter says, you know, "Liberals are traitors who should be shot", etc. The defense is always, "don't you have a sense of humor?, she was only joking". Sorry but after the 10,000th rendition of "dummycrats" and the like, it is clear it is no longer funny nor a joke, it is a purposeful insult. Its about as funny and original as a polack joke. Ha-ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Duhhh, democrats are stupid, duhhh, huhh, duhhhh, yuk, yuk. You know, my initial post ended with the words "And here is the part where you righties accuse me of not having a sense of humor for not finding mean spirited insults to be very funny." I deleted that part to give you guys the benefit of the doubt. I laugh at jokes, at least the good ones. I don't laugh at insults. This was both, a joke and an insult. I think this is the typical insult thinly disguised as a joke, and a bad one at that, which so often makes an appearance here. It reminds me of the same response I get when I point out the kind of thing Ann Coulter says, you know, "Liberals are traitors who should be shot", etc. The defense is always, "don't you have a sense of humor?, she was only joking". Sorry but after the 10,000th rendition of "dummycrats" and the like, it is clear it is no longer funny nor a joke, it is a purposeful insult. Its about as funny and original as a polack joke. Ha-ha. 532315[/snapback] Things tend to cycles. Take heart. Dem's ran the House for fifty years. You only have 39 years to wait. Ha-Ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted December 14, 2005 Author Share Posted December 14, 2005 Duhhh, democrats are stupid, duhhh, huhh, duhhhh, yuk, yuk. You know, my initial post ended with the words "And here is the part where you righties accuse me of not having a sense of humor for not finding mean spirited insults to be very funny." I deleted that part to give you guys the benefit of the doubt. I laugh at jokes, at least the good ones. I don't laugh at insults. This was both, a joke and an insult. I think this is the typical insult thinly disguised as a joke, and a bad one at that, which so often makes an appearance here. It reminds me of the same response I get when I point out the kind of thing Ann Coulter says, you know, "Liberals are traitors who should be shot", etc. The defense is always, "don't you have a sense of humor?, she was only joking". Sorry but after the 10,000th rendition of "dummycrats" and the like, it is clear it is no longer funny nor a joke, it is a purposeful insult. Its about as funny and original as a polack joke. Ha-ha. 532315[/snapback] Lighten up Francis. Everyone else sees it for what it is. Obviously this is hitting a little too close to home. What back when you were smart and gettign your degree you weren't a democrat, but now that you milk it you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Where in there, does it say that Democrats are stupid? It was easy to see that the tongue was placed firmly into the check. Hook, line and sinker, Mickster 532307[/snapback] I see, so a joke which ends with a non-thinker registering as a democrat wasn't meant to mean that democrats are stupid? Please. I got the joke, it just wasn't funny and was insulting to boot. Its an insult inside of a joke. Typical. I didn't find it funny anymore than I would have if it was a polack joke. Do I have to find every stupid joke told on this board to be funny to have a sense of humor or can I decide once in awhile that a given joke is both insulting and humorless? You can only post "Joe is a dick...just kidding" so many times before its clear it isn't meant as a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennesseeboy Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Hmmm...I just look at the mess in Iraq, Homeland Insecurity, the Katrina fiasco and China on the verge of taking over America the old fashioned way (buying us) and I have a hard time believing anyone who has Bush as his candidate could get off calling himself a thinker. The rest of the joke was repetitive and not funny, but then even I have been called to task for overrepeating jokes. (something about where GWB puts his fingers, plays like a real soldier in a pilots garb, and minces around an aircraft carried with the MA sign flashing... I try to watch it..but what the Hall (iburton). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X. Benedict Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 It is probably time we all agree to go back to safe humor: good old fashioned ethnic stereotypes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Lighten up Francis. Everyone else sees it for what it is. Obviously this is hitting a little too close to home. What back when you were smart and gettign your degree you weren't a democrat, but now that you milk it you are. 532328[/snapback] Awwww, c'mon, I was only joking, don't you have a sense of humor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 I see, so a joke which ends with a non-thinker registering as a democrat wasn't meant to mean that democrats are stupid? Please. I got the joke, it just wasn't funny and was insulting to boot. Its an insult inside of a joke. Typical. I didn't find it funny anymore than I would have if it was a polack joke. Do I have to find every stupid joke told on this board to be funny to have a sense of humor or can I decide once in awhile that a given joke is both insulting and humorless? You can only post "Joe is a dick...just kidding" so many times before its clear it isn't meant as a joke. 532329[/snapback] Can you name one joke that isn't insulting to someone? Cruelty is typically the essence of humor. In as much as that was "humor" - I didn't find it very funny either. But to be offended by it? Grow a spine, man... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Hmmm...I just look at the mess in Iraq, Homeland Insecurity, the Katrina fiasco and China on the verge of taking over America the old fashioned way (buying us) and I have a hard time believing anyone who has Bush as his candidate could get off calling himself a thinker. The rest of the joke was repetitive and not funny, but then even I have been called to task for overrepeating jokes. (something about where GWB puts his fingers, plays like a real soldier in a pilots garb, and minces around an aircraft carried with the MA sign flashing... I try to watch it..but what the Hall (iburton). 532332[/snapback] Right, "flightsuit" gets mocked but yet, somehow, "dummycrat" never gets old. No wonder you can't have a decent discussion around here. Everyone is too busy trying to come up with the most clever insult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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