The funniest dumb thing

[Mikie2times]

We all have the stories of doing stupid crap as kids, but I'm not talking about misbehaving stories, I'm talking about stupid things you did because you just didn’t know any better. My top 3 stories all happened at a very early age, and all show how little I knew about the 3rd law of physics.

 

1. Threw pebbles into moving truck beds. That’s right, I had no I could damage a truck if I threw rocks at its truck bed.

 

Result: The perfect shot bounced off the bed and cracked the guy’s rear window.

 

2. Shined a flashlight at drivers as they pulled around my subdivision. Again for some reason I don't think it effects the drivers or that the drivers even know I'm doing it.

 

Result: Nobody hurt, thank god

 

3. I play underhand baseball (with a hardball) in a my backyard, hitting the ball into a field ahead. The house is behind me, I fouled one threw the glass door.

 

Result: New glass door, nobody hurt, thank god.

[Alaska Darin]

Can't say. Not sure the statute of limitations has run out.

[/dev/null]

the street my house was on was at the top of the hill. during the winter my friends and I would go sledding down the hill. it wasn't a busy street, the only traffic was from people who lived there and they knew to keep a lookout for us, so our parents weren't too concerned

 

so one winter, to make the road slicker for sledding, we dumped buckets of water all over the frozen snow covered street

[Chef Jim]

Poured gasoline on the garage floor and lit it to see if it really would burn. I'm sure I'll come up with several more.

[Chef Jim]

Poured gasoline on the garage floor and lit it to see if it really would burn.  I'm sure I'll come up with several more.

517524[/snapback]

 

Sorry I just reread the title and you said funny. That wasn't really all that funny.

[CajunBillsBacker]

One day in the middle of summer, my street was being paved with fresh tar. The steamroller had just passed to level it off. So I decide it was a good idea to go ride my bike on the new road. My front tire got stuck in the hot tar and I fell off the bike on my hands and knees. I had never felt something so hot in my life, and the tar was stuck to my hands and knees.

So I go running and screaming back at my house to try and got that hot sh-- off of my skin cause it was burning like hell, but I couldn't grab on to anything.

When the heat finally wore of a couple hours laterf, I was able to get most of it off, but my hands and knees had both blistered badly. For the next 2 weeks, my mom had to hand feed me.

[Mikie2times]

One day in the middle of summer, my street was being paved with fresh tar. The steamroller had just passed to level it off. So I decide it was a good idea to go ride my bike on the new road. My front tire got stuck in the hot tar and I fell off the bike on my hands and knees. I had never felt something so hot in my life, and the tar was stuck to my hands and knees.

So I go running and screaming back at my house to try and got that hot sh-- off of my skin cause it was burning like hell, but I couldn't grab on to anything.

When the heat finally wore of a couple hours laterf, I was able to get most of it off, but my hands and knees had both blistered badly. For the next 2 weeks, my mom had to hand feed me.

517597[/snapback]

 

that ones pretty bad Cajun

[sweet baboo]

hey, it made me laugh

[Taro T]

One day in the middle of summer, my street was being paved with fresh tar. The steamroller had just passed to level it off. So I decide it was a good idea to go ride my bike on the new road. My front tire got stuck in the hot tar and I fell off the bike on my hands and knees. I had never felt something so hot in my life, and the tar was stuck to my hands and knees.

So I go running and screaming back at my house to try and got that hot sh-- off of my skin cause it was burning like hell, but I couldn't grab on to anything.

When the heat finally wore of a couple hours laterf, I was able to get most of it off, but my hands and knees had both blistered badly. For the next 2 weeks, my mom had to hand feed me.

517597[/snapback]

It would be painful enough in summertime in Houma just falling down on the road after the stones were steamrolled into the tar. I can't imagine how painful that must have been doing the Brer Rabbit impersonation. Oh well, at least you'll eventually be able to show the grandkids the scars and hopefully come up with a better story than the real one.

[BB27]

Don't even know if this is funny or dumb, but,

 

My mother took me to get new shoes, I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I didn't like the shoes that she was making me try on. I was really upset, and I was forced to get them. When we got home, I put on my new shoes, and then went outside. I proceeded to walk to the neighbors fence and threw the shoes over. The neighbors dog "Kolo", had quite a good time with them. I seriously got in trouble for that. Never had to wear those shoes again though.

[stuckincincy]

Came home on my bike from school for lunch. Tore out of the driveway for the return trip, failing to appreciate that for some reason, the City changed the parking side of my street; head-on collision and I was on the car roof.

 

Repeated the above peddling no-hands and eating an ice cream cone.

 

I had a Daisy "ricochet" metal rifle dangling at my side - it got jammed between fork and spokes and the wheel came to a dead stop, ejecting me forward for a splat on the pavement.

 

I was notorious for darting into traffic. My Mother was once outside, chiding me about that, so when a car approached, away I flew - screeching tires - and I shouted from the other side of the street, "I made it!".

 

Boy, did I get whacked for that one!

[smokinandjokin]

I was 12 years old and it was summer break between 6th and 7th grade. My dad was out of town on business, and my mom had gone somewhere and drove my dad's car. I decided it would be cool to take my mom's car for a spin (she had a Subaru wagon.) She had let me drive a few times from the store around the block when she was in the car, so I kinda knew what I was doing. I pulled out, drove the 3-4 blocks over to my friend's house, and he got in and we drove around for about 5 mins, doing the drive-by past some young girlies' houses with the hope they would see us. That didn't pan out, so I dropped my friend off and drove home. All in all, I was out with the car for about 20 mins.

However, now the hard part. When my mom pulls into the driveway, she always backed it in. We had a two-car garage, and on my dad's side, he could pull straight in, but on my mom's side, (just the way the garage was in relation to the driveway) there was a slight turn to navigate. As I backed it in, everything was going fine, I got to the slight turn, made it, and continued in reverse. Attempting to straighten out after the slight turn, I overcompensated, and the car was crooked. I couldn't leave it crooked, she would know I was out with it. I stopped, with my foot on the brake, and said "Okay, just pull forward, straighten it out, and we're good." Well, I forgot to put the car in Drive, hit the gas, and went right back through the center of the two-car garage, badly damaging both garage doors and the the center frame that separated them.

 

I almost shat my pants.

 

I pulled forward, parked the car, and waited. Sure enough, my mom came home, and you could only imagine the lashing I took. It was brutal. There was no hiding the evidence and no way to make the story sound good. It's not like I drove my little brother to the hospital or something. The only real lucky break was that my dad was out of town. My mom gave it to me pretty good, but nothing like what would've happened if that badass had been around. He got home about three days later (my mom didn't mention anything to him while he was gone) and by the time he arrived, my mom had graduated from extreme anger to almost seeing the funny side of it. She's a saint, and she broke it to my dad nicely. He still gave it to me pretty good, but luckily it was all verbal, rather than the welts that I know would've come had he been home. Now it is a pretty funny family story. My parents still live at the house and have a framed photo of the garage all busted up hanging in the pool table room in the basement. What a mischievious youth. I know I am in for it if I ever have kids.

[The Tomcat]

I was 13 took our truck and put in 8 of the neighborhood kids in it and drove around the block very fast, over and over. Later that day I was playing baseball when my dads head looks into the dugout and says "come here"....Put me up against a tree yelling and screaming...thank god I had my catchers equiptment on and other parents were there watching......I thought I was dead....

 

Others.....BB Gun wars....we used to have the little red skies (Jet Ski's) that were about 2 feet long....we would wait behind a snowbank and hitch on to cars rear bumpers and go for a ride.....that was fun actually!

 

One last one....I had 2 older brothers and when my parents would go out to eat, we'd stay home alone. We used to have boxing matches in our living room....we'd roll up socks and put them into snowmobile gloves and use them as boxing gloves....correction, I would roll up socks...years later I found out my brothers never put them in theirs....God I love that story....

[Ramius]

1. my cousins and i used to stuff clothes and pillows inside our sweatshirts and jogging pants and throw each other down the stairs...loads of good times

 

2. My bro and i decided one time it would be fun to joust, ala medieval knights. No jousting poles, enter hockey sticks with pillows wrapped around the butt end. No horses, enter bikes. No arena, so start pedaling at opposite ends of the yard. One round and both of us on the ground clutching our chests in pain later, we both retired as medieval jousters.

[gantrules]

My brother and I were stuck in the house one winter day watching some boring ass basketball game. My parents were gone to the store so as all young hellions do, we starting doing the crap we couldn't do when mom & dad were home. My brother made a bet with me that the Magic were going to win the game, they lost so he had to run to the end of the driveway in his whitey tighties. Being the trooper he is he ran out the door towards the end of the driveway and being the brother I am I locked his ass out. Middle of winter, about 20 degrees out.

 

About 10 minutes later my parents pulled in and I was the one that got in trouble! He was the idiot running around in his underwear!!!

[Crap Throwing Monkey]

Don't even know if this is funny or dumb, but,

 

My mother took me to get new shoes, I was probably 8 or 9 years old, I didn't like the shoes that she was making me try on.  I was really upset, and I was forced to get them.  When we got home, I put on my new shoes, and then went outside.  I proceeded to walk to the neighbors fence and threw the shoes over.  The neighbors dog "Kolo", had quite a good time with them.  I seriously got in trouble for that.  Never had to wear those shoes again though.

517657[/snapback]

 

[Webster Guy]

We were playing basketball in the driveway and we all took a break to drink water out of the hose (six 12 year olds). A guy in a Cadillac pulls up in the driveway and goes in the house because he had an appointment with my parents regarding financial advisement/investing.

 

They guy parks right in the spot where we were playing, so I go in the house and my mom immediately shoo's me out as I see paperwork all over the kitchen table.

 

So I get in the guy's OPEN car (ahh...the 70's) and pull the lever gear into Neutral. The car starts to roll slightly back (driveway was a slight hill) and I go to press the breaks and they don't work when the car is off. I SLAM the gearshift into Park and the car makes all these grinding, stuttering, clanking, grinding noises as it clicks to a stop.

 

We all booked into the woods next door and watched for an hour. The guy comes out with his briefcase, looks at his car, looks around, and gets in and leaves.

 

Whew!

[slothrop]

I will just name a few growing up in a small town in northern new york:

 

1) throwing snowballs at cars with golf-balls in the middle;

 

2) hitting golf balls with baseball bats at an old-folks home;

 

3) playing baseball with a lacrosse ball (my friend's little brother was glad the ball field was next to the hospital);

 

4) throwing eggs at varsity football players as they left the locker room when we were 12 years old;

 

5) knocking on people's doors after dark and then run to the middle of the street to join your friends. When the person answers the door we all pull out toy guns and pretend to shoot them. One guy dived into his bushes;

 

6) as a newspaper boy if someone did not pay ontime I would piss on their paper and appolgize for dropping it in the snow to explain why it is wet

 

I will stop now - I should be in jail.

[Rico]

One summer night when I was about 13 or so, we rode our bikes to 7-11 and I bought one of those slurpees. On the way back, I realized I didn't want a slurpee, so I ditched it. ... some poor soul had parked their car & didn't roll their windows up & I slung it inside.

[Buffal0 Bill5]

My brother and I were stuck in the house one winter day watching some boring ass basketball game. My parents were gone to the store so as all young hellions do, we starting doing the crap we couldn't do when mom & dad were home. My brother made a bet with me that the Magic were going to win the game, they lost so he had to run to the end of the driveway in his whitey tighties. Being the trooper he is he ran out the door towards the end of the driveway and being the brother I am I locked his ass out. Middle of winter, about 20 degrees out.

 

About 10 minutes later my parents pulled in and I was the one that got in trouble! He was the idiot running around in his underwear!!!

518120[/snapback]

 

I was on the receiving end of this gag from my sister. Another of her all time greats. "let's see who can stand outside in their bare feet the longest." I'm in a foot of snow, she's around the corner under the dryer vent. Man, older sisters rot.