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THE CHEEKTOWAGA EYE EXAM

 

This kid from CHEEKTOWAGA turns 16 and goes to to the NY State

Department of Motor Vehicles apply for a permit. He is told he has to

take an eye test. The examiner show's him a card with the letters:

 

C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z

 

"Can you read this?" the examiner asks.

 

"Read it?" the young man replies, "He's my uncle."

 

 

ICE FISHING

 

A blonde who had lived in Buffalo all her life wanted to go ice

fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting

all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

 

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular

cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO

FISH UNDER THE ICE."

 

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of

Spot coffee, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heaven

the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

 

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end

of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her

hole.

 

The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." She

stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"

 

The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF HSBC ARENA."

 

 

LOST IN A BLIZZARD

 

A UB student from downstate got lost in her car in a Buffalo

blizzard. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever

get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snowplow and follow it." Pretty

soon a snowplow came by and she started to follow it. She followed

the plow for about 45 minutes. Finally the driver of the snowplow got

out and asked what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told

her that if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

 

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm through with the Wegman's lot,

now you can follow me over to Tops."

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