sweet baboo Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 http://vgmerchandise.com/misc.html Vincent Gallo's Sperm $1 Million Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. Mr. Gallo also presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30 days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes. Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr. Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child. joke or not, that man is a huge attention whore
drnykterstein Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 hehe, i know his parents. maybe i can just go straight to the source instead of having to deal with vinny...
/dev/null Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 If he gets $1M, I wonder how much they'd pay for Tedy Bruschi (We're not worthy!)
bobblehead Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 If he gets $1M, I wonder how much they'd pay for Tedy Bruschi (We're not worthy!) (We're not worthy!) (We're not worthy!) 495064[/snapback] When broadcast, his image alone impregnates all ovulating women within 5' of the TV set.
sweet baboo Posted November 4, 2005 Author Posted November 4, 2005 not just ovulating women my bungholio felt weird after i saw his image with hero playing in the background
Pete Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 We got a buyer! http://patriotworld.com/IMAGES2005B/milktb.jpg
drnykterstein Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 We got a buyer!http://patriotworld.com/IMAGES2005B/milktb.jpg 495244[/snapback] oh man, if i was at hope i would just abuse that image with photoshop... maybe later i'll get to it.
Guffalo Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Is the semen extraction method the same that was discussed in yesterdays thread concerning the Bull semen? (That damn video still gives me the shivers)
agilen Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Ah, one of Buffalo's finest. Has anybody seen Buffalo '66? Its weird in a creepy sort of way.
ajzepp Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Why not just have Chloe spit some out? 495314[/snapback] lol....nasty!
Guffalo Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Why not just have Chloe spit some out? 495314[/snapback] Cause she swallows?
stuckincincy Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 I've never heard of Vincent Gallo. Is he related to Ernest and Julio??
drnykterstein Posted November 4, 2005 Posted November 4, 2005 Ah, one of Buffalo's finest. Has anybody seen Buffalo '66? Its weird in a creepy sort of way. 495317[/snapback] you really want to be creeped out.. go watch brown bunny. oh man was that a mistake.
buckeyemike Posted November 5, 2005 Posted November 5, 2005 Ah, one of Buffalo's finest. Has anybody seen Buffalo '66? Its weird in a creepy sort of way. 495317[/snapback] Yes, and I'm sorry I did. Without Scott Norwood, there is no movie. Mike
/dev/null Posted November 5, 2005 Posted November 5, 2005 I've never heard of Vincent Gallo. Is he related to Ernest and Julio?? 495398[/snapback] i think he was one of the characters in that show with David Spade a few years ago
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