Im in trouble...

[Dante]

I know I will get alot of "your not a true fan" feedback from this. Like alot of emotions they are something you cant control. Ive been a loyal Bills fan for 30 years through thick and (mostly) thin. Now I find myself not loving the Bills but mad at them. Or even worse, indifferent to them. Thier management continues to make the same mistakes that they have made for over 20 years. They refuse to get good lines on both sides of the ball. That game in Oakland that I went too was the back breaker. They were pathetic and Ive ALMOST had enough. What enhanced the crappy gameplay of the Bills was having it rubbed in your face by RaiderFan. Does it get any worse than that? Im getting resentful of the Bills for lettting me down time and time again. Other teams seem to get it done on a regular basis. Hell, even the Redskins with their wacky ownership are building a solid team. I dont know. I know im rambling a bit but I almost want to see the Pat's rip em a new one Sunday so something will break for the Bills. Kinda like the NHL now. A few eggs had to be broken with the lockout to get a better product and we got it. Now I wouldnt mind seeing the Bills hit rock bottom(yet again) to facilitate a new dawn for them. I'll get blasted for this I know.

[realtruelove]

I know I will get alot of "your not a true fan" feedback from this. Like alot of emotions they are something you cant control. Ive been a loyal Bills fan for 30 years through thick and (mostly) thin. Now I find myself not loving the Bills but mad at them. Or even worse, indifferent to them. Thier management continues to make the same mistakes that they have made for over 20 years. They refuse to get good lines on both sides of the ball. That game in Oakland that I went too was the back breaker. They were pathetic and Ive ALMOST had enough. What enhanced the crappy gameplay of the Bills was having it rubbed in your face by RaiderFan. Does it get any worse than that?  Im getting resentful of the Bills for lettting me down time and time again. Other teams seem to get it done on a regular basis. Hell, even the Redskins with their wacky ownership are building a solid team. I dont know. I know im rambling a bit but I almost want to see the Pat's rip em a new one Sunday so something will break for the Bills. Kinda like the NHL now. A few eggs had to be broken with the lockout to get a better product and we got it. Now I wouldnt mind seeing the Bills hit rock bottom(yet again) to facilitate a new dawn for them. I'll get blasted for this I know.

489269[/snapback]

 

 

You've got the Bills Jones. Welcome to the club.

[cåblelady]

They piss me off, but......I still love them.

[Kelly the Dog]

You shouldn't feel mad, you should feel saved. You would have killed yourself two years ago if you were a Redskins fan. If this place was a Redskin site, it may have imploded the entire Internet.

[meazza]

I know I will get alot of "your not a true fan" feedback from this. Like alot of emotions they are something you cant control. Ive been a loyal Bills fan for 30 years through thick and (mostly) thin. Now I find myself not loving the Bills but mad at them. Or even worse, indifferent to them. Thier management continues to make the same mistakes that they have made for over 20 years. They refuse to get good lines on both sides of the ball. That game in Oakland that I went too was the back breaker. They were pathetic and Ive ALMOST had enough. What enhanced the crappy gameplay of the Bills was having it rubbed in your face by RaiderFan. Does it get any worse than that?  Im getting resentful of the Bills for lettting me down time and time again. Other teams seem to get it done on a regular basis. Hell, even the Redskins with their wacky ownership are building a solid team. I dont know. I know im rambling a bit but I almost want to see the Pat's rip em a new one Sunday so something will break for the Bills. Kinda like the NHL now. A few eggs had to be broken with the lockout to get a better product and we got it. Now I wouldnt mind seeing the Bills hit rock bottom(yet again) to facilitate a new dawn for them. I'll get blasted for this I know.

489269[/snapback]

 

 

 

the bills killed me many times

i took a break from football and sports in general around 1998 i think it was

it was too hard for me

the expos had the best team in the MLB and had been dismantled by the result of a lockout

the habs had traded away their best player ever (roy) and had gone from good to mediocre

and the bills had dismantled their whole team from Thurman Thomas becoming a dolphin to Jim Kelly just looking horrible that I couldn't wear his shirt to school without getting mocked by 49ers and cowboys fans

and lastly Italy looked horrible in the world cup

after that i just took some time off from sports cuz it was going to kill me emotionally, but now it feels great to be back

[meazza]

You shouldn't feel mad, you should feel saved. You would have killed yourself two years ago if you were a Redskins fan. If this place was a Redskin site, it may have imploded the entire Internet.

489287[/snapback]

you mean like a star collapsing on itself into nothingness

lol

[DeeRay]

let not your heart be troubled. too much donahoe koolaid has a tendency to render a good bills fan resentful and angry.

[campee]

It's sounds like you are at acceptance

 

Loss to Oakland Has Fans Grieving

Where are You on Your Journey?

by Tony Bogyo

October 25, 2005

 

Grief is a complex emotion. It is a unique experience for each one of us. We all go through it in our own way. If you’re a Bills fan, you’ve certainly had your share of grief.

 

By now everyone has seen the football debacle in Oakland and the pain of Sunday undoubtedly lingers on. You’ve heard all the gory stats, thought about the implications of the loss on the team and the remainder of the season and drowned your sorrows in more than a few beers. Indeed, you are experiencing grief.

 

You’ve read all the media coverage ad nausea. Before the game there were articles about winning in Oakland and taking sole possession of first place in the AFC East. You undoubtedly read about the Bills new secret weapon – cheeseburgers (the most hyped-up cheeseburger meal since Harold and Kumar go to White Castle). You read all of the post game comments from curmudgeons like me, none with anything positive to say.

 

It is just past week 6 of the season, but even the most optimistic Bills fans have come to realize that this is a team with serious issues, a team with glaring needs, a team going nowhere in a hurry.

 

There are 5 main stages of grief, and today finds Bills fans at various stages in the process. Where you fall in the process depends upon you outlook for the season prior to week 1. Those who didn’t expect much from the team are likely further along down the grieving path than those who honestly felt this was a team ready for its first post season appearance in the new millennium.

 

As a service to grieving Bills fans, I have decided to outline the 5 stages of grief so you can understand where you are in the process and survey the road ahead. I know it’s painful, but eventually it is a process we will all get through.

 

Stage 1 – Denial

In this stage of grief you refuse to accept things as they really are. You try to tell yourself that things are as they used to be. You live in the past, flashing back to past experiences as if they were happening now. In Bills fans this stage is marked by a refusal to see that this is not a playoff team. You have a continual belief that we have a top NFL defense that has simply had a few weak games. You talk about how we have a young stud quarterback who can still lead us to the division title. You frequently talk about Jim, Thurman, Bruce and Andre. In serious cases, you have a mullet and break out the lucky zuba pants to watch the game on Sunday and may have lead poisoning from the paint on the Whammy Weenie you always carry. In critical cases you talk to people about how Sunday’s victory over New England, at Foxboro, in front of a national TV audience, will be the turning point of the season. If this is you, seek professional help in moving on to step 2.

 

Stage 2 – Anger

In stage 2, you have anger that eats at you. You may be subject to emotional outbursts. The anger may manifest itself as anger towards others and blaming them for the loss, or even anger at yourself. It’s only natural that you rant about what a terrible job Tom Donahoe has done in his tenure as Bills General Manager. You may choose to focus on a single player and his lack of performance this season (Jeff Posey, Sam Adams, anyone on the offensive line). You may also hate someone like Willis “I’m the best back in the NFL” McGahee for his pre-game comments to the Bay Area press. You may hate yourself for being a Bills fan and seemingly bringing emotional distress upon you and your family. In serious cases you’ve removed the Bills bumper sticker from your car or put away all of your Bills items in a box in the attic. In severe cases you’ve set fire to your house or yourself when burning your $235 authentic Bills jersey or cut your wrists with the Bills straight razor you found on Ebay (it matches your Bills bathroom and toiletries set).

 

Stage 3 – Bargaining

Stage 3 sees people starting to bargain with God or the world in the hope that what has been lost can be regained in a trade. If you’re religious you may try and tell God you’ll live a better life if only the Bills would make the playoffs (much like the bargaining you do with him when lying on the bathroom floor after a night of heavy drinking). In serious cases you offer to work nights at a soup kitchen if the Bills win a wild card birth, and in extreme cases you may actually offer to sacrifice your own pets or small children in some sort of bizarre ritual if the Bills could win the Super Bowl just once.

 

Stage 4 – Depression

Depression is the most difficult stage of grief. It manifests itself in many ways. You may feel sad, listless, confused or numb. You may burst out into tears over a little trigger such as seeing Drew Bledsoe’s performance numbers in Dallas. You may feel that you are being punished for something you did or did not do (you never really did work those nights at the soup kitchen after that bender on Labor Day). You may feel that it’s your fault – perhaps you slipped up and put your Bills socks on before painting your chest blue before the game, a clear violation of the pre-game ritual. You may have trouble experiencing pleasure – you pass up that date to the Anchor Bar for unlimited wings with Heidi Klum you won when Maxim magazine was in town doing a story on why supermodels are attracted to blue-collar football fans. In severe cases you lose interest in everything, including rooting for the demise of all current and former Dolphin and Patriot players and campaigning for a law that would allow you to shoot Jimmy Johnson on sight with a large handgun after messing up his helmet of hair.

 

Stage 5 – Acceptance

In stage 5 you come to accept the loss for which you are grieving. You have worked through all of your issues and can now look at the loss in a clear and rational manner. You realize that life must go on and you can no longer carry the baggage that weighs you down. You start to think about the positive things the Bills can do for next season. You begin to understand that come September all teams will be undefeated and perhaps the Bills will finally have that year we’ve all been waiting for. The year the Bills win the Super Bowl, Tom Brady is drummed out of the league after being exposed as a Satanist, the entire Miami Dolphin team is suspended for substance abuse violations and/or jailed for criminal activity and the Bills send all 22 starters to the Pro Bowl. Hope springs eternal. And there’s always step 1 again next year if it doesn’t happen.

[Dante]

It's sounds like you are at  acceptance

 

 

489363[/snapback]

I think your right. But there may be a final and more frightening sixth stage. Number 6 may be "Indifference". The feeling borne of anger in which you suddenly realize you have been screwed over all these years and you have put your money behind a organization that will never win. Your angry becuase you have been a loser enough to believe they could win. After the anger wanes it becomes indifference because your just tired. Hell, out here I may as well be a Niner fan. Unlike the Bills there are no illusions of what their team is. Rock bottom and rebuilding. There is a firm grasp of reality of what they are. Because of that, much like a alchoholic, there is hope for the future. Im not so sure with the Bills. They have been BS'ing like they have a chance. My fear is the Niners are a couple years ahead of us now going through the rough times amassing high draft picks.

[granitestatebillsbackers]

Don't forget the perspective, folks.

 

40-year fan here. I have never applied all this psychological analysis to my being a fan--just knew that on Mondays after a loss I was in a lousy mood.

 

I love the Bills--good or bad. I'm a native Buffalonian--well, Lackawanna, actually--and am cut from that same get-back-up-when-your-down, kick-em-in-the-teeth mentality as a lot of other folks on this board. Hell, Erie County is bankrupt, the politicians are corrupt and industry is moving OUT, not in. But I love the place anyway--from the beef on weck, Genny Cream Ale and Texas hots to the Scajacquada, Buff State Bengals and Mighty Taco.

 

And somehow, in the midst of it all, the Bills represent for me a metaphor for what my home town has been going through for decades.

 

I hate it when they lose, I'm damned happy when they win and I KNOW that there's a better team in the future. Just the right combination of players and coaches and we'll be in the Promised Land again.

 

We're like our brothers and sisters in Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Chicago and Green Bay. Our team means more to us than just an NFL team. That's the way it will always be, and none of us will be able to turn our back on them regardless of how low they sink.

 

Even here, in the middle of Patriots land, I am raising my son to be a Bills fan. He's going to learn what it means to be from Buffalo, even if he is one generation removed.

 

Keep the faith. GO BILLS!

[nodnarb]

Dante, write a letter to One Bills Drive, copying Tom Donahoe and Ralph Wilson. I'm sure they read their mail.

[mead107]

go get a wax job , it will take your mind off them (the BILLS)a fan has hope even when times are bad . hang in ,it will get better

[jester43]

I know I will get alot of "your not a true fan" feedback from this. Like alot of emotions they are something you cant control. Ive been a loyal Bills fan for 30 years through thick and (mostly) thin. Now I find myself not loving the Bills but mad at them. Or even worse, indifferent to them. Thier management continues to make the same mistakes that they have made for over 20 years. They refuse to get good lines on both sides of the ball. That game in Oakland that I went too was the back breaker. They were pathetic and Ive ALMOST had enough. What enhanced the crappy gameplay of the Bills was having it rubbed in your face by RaiderFan. Does it get any worse than that?  Im getting resentful of the Bills for lettting me down time and time again. Other teams seem to get it done on a regular basis. Hell, even the Redskins with their wacky ownership are building a solid team. I dont know. I know im rambling a bit but I almost want to see the Pat's rip em a new one Sunday so something will break for the Bills. Kinda like the NHL now. A few eggs had to be broken with the lockout to get a better product and we got it. Now I wouldnt mind seeing the Bills hit rock bottom(yet again) to facilitate a new dawn for them. I'll get blasted for this I know.

489269[/snapback]

 

 

dude, i am right there with you. and i have been following the team for 35 years now. i used to bill myself as an unabashed homer. now i just feel used up and ripped off. and i have never felt that way before when were losing. not even in the horrendous pre-kelly years. the rest of my life is just fine, thank you, but these guys, especially donohoe, certainly are killing my interest in football.

[realtruelove]

It's sounds like you are at  acceptance

 

Loss to Oakland Has Fans Grieving

Where are You on Your Journey?

by Tony Bogyo

October 25, 2005

 

Grief is a complex emotion. It is a unique experience for each one of us. We all go through it in our own way. If you’re a Bills fan, you’ve certainly had your share of grief.

 

By now everyone has seen the football debacle in Oakland and the pain of Sunday undoubtedly lingers on. You’ve heard all the gory stats, thought about the implications of the loss on the team and the remainder of the season and drowned your sorrows in more than a few beers. Indeed, you are experiencing grief.

 

You’ve read all the media coverage ad nausea. Before the game there were articles about winning in Oakland and taking sole possession of first place in the AFC East. You undoubtedly read about the Bills new secret weapon – cheeseburgers (the most hyped-up cheeseburger meal since Harold and Kumar go to White Castle). You read all of the post game comments from curmudgeons like me, none with anything positive to say.

 

It is just past week 6 of the season, but even the most optimistic Bills fans have come to realize that this is a team with serious issues, a team with glaring needs, a team going nowhere in a hurry.

 

There are 5 main stages of grief, and today finds Bills fans at various stages in the process. Where you fall in the process depends upon you outlook for the season prior to week 1. Those who didn’t expect much from the team are likely further along down the grieving path than those who honestly felt this was a team ready for its first post season appearance in the new millennium.

 

As a service to grieving Bills fans, I have decided to outline the 5 stages of grief so you can understand where you are in the process and survey the road ahead. I know it’s painful, but eventually it is a process we will all get through.

 

Stage 1 – Denial

In this stage of grief you refuse to accept things as they really are. You try to tell yourself that things are as they used to be. You live in the past, flashing back to past experiences as if they were happening now. In Bills fans this stage is marked by a refusal to see that this is not a playoff team. You have a continual belief that we have a top NFL defense that has simply had a few weak games. You talk about how we have a young stud quarterback who can still lead us to the division title. You frequently talk about Jim, Thurman, Bruce and Andre. In serious cases, you have a mullet and break out the lucky zuba pants to watch the game on Sunday and may have lead poisoning from the paint on the Whammy Weenie you always carry. In critical cases you talk to people about how Sunday’s victory over New England, at Foxboro, in front of a national TV audience, will be the turning point of the season. If this is you, seek professional help in moving on to step 2.

 

Stage 2 – Anger

In stage 2, you have anger that eats at you. You may be subject to emotional outbursts. The anger may manifest itself as anger towards others and blaming them for the loss, or even anger at yourself. It’s only natural that you rant about what a terrible job Tom Donahoe has done in his tenure as Bills General Manager. You may choose to focus on a single player and his lack of performance this season (Jeff Posey, Sam Adams, anyone on the offensive line). You may also hate someone like Willis “I’m the best back in the NFL” McGahee for his pre-game comments to the Bay Area press. You may hate yourself for being a Bills fan and seemingly bringing emotional distress upon you and your family. In serious cases you’ve removed the Bills bumper sticker from your car or put away all of your Bills items in a box in the attic. In severe cases you’ve set fire to your house or yourself when burning your $235 authentic Bills jersey or cut your wrists with the Bills straight razor you found on Ebay (it matches your Bills bathroom and toiletries set).

 

Stage 3 – Bargaining

Stage 3 sees people starting to bargain with God or the world in the hope that what has been lost can be regained in a trade. If you’re religious you may try and tell God you’ll live a better life if only the Bills would make the playoffs (much like the bargaining you do with him when lying on the bathroom floor after a night of heavy drinking). In serious cases you offer to work nights at a soup kitchen if the Bills win a wild card birth, and in extreme cases you may actually offer to sacrifice your own pets or small children in some sort of bizarre ritual if the Bills could win the Super Bowl just once.

 

Stage 4 – Depression

Depression is the most difficult stage of grief. It manifests itself in many ways. You may feel sad, listless, confused or numb. You may burst out into tears over a little trigger such as seeing Drew Bledsoe’s performance numbers in Dallas. You may feel that you are being punished for something you did or did not do (you never really did work those nights at the soup kitchen after that bender on Labor Day). You may feel that it’s your fault – perhaps you slipped up and put your Bills socks on before painting your chest blue before the game, a clear violation of the pre-game ritual. You may have trouble experiencing pleasure – you pass up that date to the Anchor Bar for unlimited wings with Heidi Klum you won when Maxim magazine was in town doing a story on why supermodels are attracted to blue-collar football fans. In severe cases you lose interest in everything, including rooting for the demise of all current and former Dolphin and Patriot players and campaigning for a law that would allow you to shoot Jimmy Johnson on sight with a large handgun after messing up his helmet of hair.

 

Stage 5 – Acceptance

In stage 5 you come to accept the loss for which you are grieving. You have worked through all of your issues and can now look at the loss in a clear and rational manner. You realize that life must go on and you can no longer carry the baggage that weighs you down. You start to think about the positive things the Bills can do for next season. You begin to understand that come September all teams will be undefeated and perhaps the Bills will finally have that year we’ve all been waiting for. The year the Bills win the Super Bowl, Tom Brady is drummed out of the league after being exposed as a Satanist, the entire Miami Dolphin team is suspended for substance abuse violations and/or jailed for criminal activity and the Bills send all 22 starters to the Pro Bowl. Hope springs eternal. And there’s always step 1 again next year if it doesn’t happen.

489363[/snapback]

 

Stage 6 - Jones

 

The word "jones" is a slang term meaning to crave, want, or desire; or, to feel withdrawal from an activity of passion. The general slang meaning is often associated with addictive substance habits but can be applied on a more universal scale (e.g., jones'n for the Buffalo Bills).

[Brack733]

I know I will get alot of "your not a true fan" feedback from this. Like alot of emotions they are something you cant control. Ive been a loyal Bills fan for 30 years through thick and (mostly) thin. Now I find myself not loving the Bills but mad at them. Or even worse, indifferent to them. Thier management continues to make the same mistakes that they have made for over 20 years. They refuse to get good lines on both sides of the ball. That game in Oakland that I went too was the back breaker. They were pathetic and Ive ALMOST had enough. What enhanced the crappy gameplay of the Bills was having it rubbed in your face by RaiderFan. Does it get any worse than that?  Im getting resentful of the Bills for lettting me down time and time again. Other teams seem to get it done on a regular basis. Hell, even the Redskins with their wacky ownership are building a solid team. I dont know. I know im rambling a bit but I almost want to see the Pat's rip em a new one Sunday so something will break for the Bills. Kinda like the NHL now. A few eggs had to be broken with the lockout to get a better product and we got it. Now I wouldnt mind seeing the Bills hit rock bottom(yet again) to facilitate a new dawn for them. I'll get blasted for this I know.

489269[/snapback]

 

 

I'm feeling the exact same way.

[ExWNYer]

Don't forget the perspective, folks.

 

40-year fan here.  I have never applied all this psychological analysis to my being a fan--just knew that on Mondays after a loss I was in a lousy mood.

 

I love the Bills--good or bad.  I'm a native Buffalonian--well, Lackawanna, actually--and am cut from that same get-back-up-when-your-down, kick-em-in-the-teeth mentality as a lot of other folks on this board.  Hell, Erie County is bankrupt, the politicians are corrupt and industry is moving OUT, not in.  But I love the place anyway--from the beef on weck, Genny Cream Ale and Texas hots to the Scajacquada, Buff State Bengals and Mighty Taco.

 

And somehow, in the midst of it all, the Bills represent for me a metaphor for what my home town has been going through for decades.

 

I hate it when they lose, I'm damned happy when they win and I KNOW that there's a better team in the future.  Just the right combination of players and coaches and we'll be in the Promised Land again.

 

We're like our brothers and sisters in Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Chicago and Green Bay.  Our team means more to us than just an NFL team.  That's the way it will always be, and none of us will be able to turn our back on them regardless of how low they sink.

 

Even here, in the middle of Patriots land, I am raising my son to be a Bills fan.  He's going to learn what it means to be from Buffalo, even if he is one generation removed.

 

Keep the faith.  GO BILLS!

489372[/snapback]

 

Great post, g!

[rockpile]

Gee, I have not seen one "you're not a true fan" reply yet.

 

I can identify with how you feel (fan for 41 years). A few days ago, someone asked me what I thought about tonight's game. I replied that I thought the Bills would get their ass kicked. The person was surprised and said they thought I was a FAN! I am, but I am also a realist or maybe a surrealist.

 

Tonight at 8:30 I will be in front of the tube hoping to see a good game and better - a win for the Bills.

 

As far as rubbing it on my face, I have heard so much crap over the years it is water off a duck's back. The loss is pain enough.

 

I think the club has about hit the turning point. Pretty soon there is no where to go but up.

 

I know I will get alot of "your not a true fan" feedback from this. Like alot of emotions they are something you cant control. Ive been a loyal Bills fan for 30 years through thick and (mostly) thin. Now I find myself not loving the Bills but mad at them. Or even worse, indifferent to them. Thier management continues to make the same mistakes that they have made for over 20 years. They refuse to get good lines on both sides of the ball. That game in Oakland that I went too was the back breaker. They were pathetic and Ive ALMOST had enough. What enhanced the crappy gameplay of the Bills was having it rubbed in your face by RaiderFan. Does it get any worse than that?  Im getting resentful of the Bills for lettting me down time and time again. Other teams seem to get it done on a regular basis. Hell, even the Redskins with their wacky ownership are building a solid team. I dont know. I know im rambling a bit but I almost want to see the Pat's rip em a new one Sunday so something will break for the Bills. Kinda like the NHL now. A few eggs had to be broken with the lockout to get a better product and we got it. Now I wouldnt mind seeing the Bills hit rock bottom(yet again) to facilitate a new dawn for them. I'll get blasted for this I know.

489269[/snapback]

[Tortured Soul]

Reading this thread, it occured to me. I was going to say that loving a football team is like a marriage. It has it's rough spots, but you hang in there because you remember the good times and believe they will return. But then I realized more than half of marriages end in divorce - but Bills fans never leave the team. There's gotta be something to be said for that. Seeing all of you who have been there 40+ years with this team (I've only been a fan since 1990, when I was 6), it's reassuring.

 

I don't think any of us on the board would be watching tonight if we didn't feel there was some chance of a win. So hang on to that. It could be another loss - or the biggest win in a decade.

[mead107]

i am starting to feel like we could win this tonight . game day , i love it

[CajunBillsBacker]

I stopped hoping for wins a couple years back. I have just accepted that the Bills will never be anything more than average until they get someone in there who shows a passion to win like the fans do. Life is alot less stressful now.