erynthered Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, D.C. Dear Concerned Citizen Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of theTaliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him. Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views females as a sub-human form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs. Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good luck! Cordially, Don Rumsfeld Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillsFanNC Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him. 396003[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuckincincy Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. 396003[/snapback] I read somewhere that a dozen or so who were released from Gitmo were shot or captured in Afghanistan afterwards. P.S. Love your new avatar. Like mine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 I read somewhere that a dozen or so who were released from Gitmo were shot or captured in Afghanistan afterwards. P.S. Love your new avatar. Like mine? 396102[/snapback] Clearly, then, Gitmo is producing terrorists. They must have been treated awfully badly to have been motivated to fight the US upon their release... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted August 2, 2005 Author Share Posted August 2, 2005 P.S. Love your new avatar. Like mine? 396102[/snapback] Every time I try to up-load one I get an error message, friggin Patriot Act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RkFast Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Clearly, then, Gitmo is producing terrorists. They must have been treated awfully badly to have been motivated to fight the US upon their release... 396111[/snapback] Then what the !@#$ "produced" terrorists during the 80s and 90s? The lousy food at Club Med? "Gitmo Produces Terrorists"...one of the dumbest, most assisine soundbytes ever uttered. People who say this with a straight face might as well just say "im insulting your intelligence" and stop wasting my time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Gant Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Then what the !@#$ "produced" terrorists during the 80s and 90s? The lousy food at Club Med? 396211[/snapback] I have been to Club Med and the food was pretty good. I don't know what they are upset about. Well, it is French owned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaska Darin Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Then what the !@#$ "produced" terrorists during the 80s and 90s? The lousy food at Club Med? "Gitmo Produces Terrorists"...one of the dumbest, most assisine soundbytes ever uttered. People who say this with a straight face might as well just say "im insulting your intelligence" and stop wasting my time. 396211[/snapback] Wow, way to miss clear sarcasm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Then what the !@#$ "produced" terrorists during the 80s and 90s? The lousy food at Club Med? "Gitmo Produces Terrorists"...one of the dumbest, most assisine soundbytes ever uttered. People who say this with a straight face might as well just say "im insulting your intelligence" and stop wasting my time. 396211[/snapback] You're right. You are insulting my intelligence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of BiB Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Can I get two? Hell, I'll take ten! I'll follow the Florida child welfare model. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich in Ohio Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Clearly, then, Gitmo is producing terrorists. They must have been treated awfully badly to have been motivated to fight the US upon their release... 396111[/snapback] hey monkey, they hated us before they were captured the first time......nence that is why they were captured. The point was they were released only to go back to the same insane behavior as before. If we would have just eliminated them on the battlefield there would be so much less crap to deal with. We have to try harder in that respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Gant Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Wow, way to miss clear sarcasm. 396253[/snapback] I think the count is now 0-2, get ready for next pitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RkFast Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 You're right. You are insulting my intelligence. 396263[/snapback] Hate to bust your bubbles fellas, but I wasnt lashing out at CTM. Unlike last time, I understood the "sublety" of his sarcasm and I was railing not at him, but against those who make that ludicrous statement and MEAN IT. I know Tom didnt becuase I know he is smarter that that....he told me so! , indeed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of BiB Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 I might have room for 20. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 hey monkey, they hated us before they were captured the first time......nence that is why they were captured. The point was they were released only to go back to the same insane behavior as before. If we would have just eliminated them on the battlefield there would be so much less crap to deal with. We have to try harder in that respect. 396285[/snapback] What the hell is wrong with people today? Christ, Rich, are you that !@#$ing retarded? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 What the hell is wrong with people today? Christ, Rich, are you that !@#$ing retarded? 396373[/snapback] Ahhhh.... Yes, I bet he is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Ahhhh.... Yes, I bet he is! 396965[/snapback] Remember the old story about those in glass houses and stones? You should follow it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Remember the old story about those in glass houses and stones? You should follow it. 396970[/snapback] At least I can read through a thread. That gives me a slight edge... Slight none the less... Seems like Rich is up to his old habits. In the old days, threaded views didn't even help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 What the hell is wrong with people today? Christ, Rich, are you that !@#$ing retarded? 396373[/snapback] My gawd, your post was so clearly a sarcastic one and people are taking it seriously. Even I didn't think Richio was that stupid and I take a back seat to no one when it comes to measuring the fathomless depths of his moronity. Then again he has been after you from the git-go, remember that initial go-around you had with him over the Shuttle disaster? I think he called you a liar for having claimed that the foam insulation was traveling at 900 MPH when it turned out that it was only going 899 MPH. Boy, he really showed you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExiledInIllinois Posted August 4, 2005 Share Posted August 4, 2005 My gawd, your post was so clearly a sarcastic one and people are taking it seriously. Even I didn't think Richio was that stupid and I take a back seat to no one when it comes to measuring the fathomless depths of his moronity. Then again he has been after you from the git-go, remember that initial go-around you had with him over the Shuttle disaster? I think he called you a liar for having claimed that the foam insulation was traveling at 900 MPH when it turned out that it was only going 899 MPH. Boy, he really showed you. 397165[/snapback] Exactly. My reference was to the days of the old board when we had threaded views. Even with that he had a real struggle figuring out who was replying to who. Things like building a mental who's who and where they stand must get in the way of his heroic struggle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts