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Point of clarification: when he drinks in the car, are you driving or his he?

 

He drives because he knows I won't let him ride in my car with a drink. And also because he feels that the man should do the driving, open the doors, etc.

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Serious questions - and I need some answers from a men's perspective please.

 

My women's intuition tells me that my beau is an alcholic. He admits to at least three whiskys every evening. But sometimes sounds a little slurred on the phone around 9:30pm. On the weekends he smells of whisky when he comes over in the afternoon and will drink at least another 3.  If we go out- he pours himself a "roadie" and drinks it in the car which I hate but if I say anything about it I'm "nagging". I've not seen him stumble or "sound" drunk, but after the 3rd or 4th drink he gets very emotional (I love you, you're the best, etc. etc.).

 

I've tried to talk about this situation because I'm concerned about what will happen as the relationship goes on. I really like this guy's personality and we get along really well - but this issue sets off little warning bells in my head. He firmly insists that I'm over reacting and he just "likes a few drinks". I like a few drinks too, but not every day! He's also on blood pressure and "stress" medication. Isn't that a vicious combination?

 

The few times he's stayed over, I've detected some shaking in the AM. In those cases, he has left to go and "run errands".

 

No one is perfect and when we go into relationships, there will always be a few negatives - especially as we become older, wiser, and more cautious. But am I over reacting?

387213[/snapback]

 

 

If he shakes in the AM and drinks every night, then chances are, he's an alcoholic.

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He drives because he knows I won't let him ride in my car with a drink. And also because he feels that the man should do the driving, open the doors, etc.

387235[/snapback]

 

Boot him to the curb. He could kill you, or someone else.

We all know when someone says "I've had a few drinks", that usually means five or six. You don't need that, you are and deserve much better.

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Serious questions - and I need some answers from a men's perspective please.

 

My women's intuition tells me that my beau is an alcholic. He admits to at least three whiskys every evening. But sometimes sounds a little slurred on the phone around 9:30pm. On the weekends he smells of whisky when he comes over in the afternoon and will drink at least another 3.  If we go out- he pours himself a "roadie" and drinks it in the car which I hate but if I say anything about it I'm "nagging". I've not seen him stumble or "sound" drunk, but after the 3rd or 4th drink he gets very emotional (I love you, you're the best, etc. etc.).

 

I've tried to talk about this situation because I'm concerned about what will happen as the relationship goes on. I really like this guy's personality and we get along really well - but this issue sets off little warning bells in my head. He firmly insists that I'm over reacting and he just "likes a few drinks". I like a few drinks too, but not every day! He's also on blood pressure and "stress" medication. Isn't that a vicious combination?

 

The few times he's stayed over, I've detected some shaking in the AM. In those cases, he has left to go and "run errands".

 

No one is perfect and when we go into relationships, there will always be a few negatives - especially as we become older, wiser, and more cautious. But am I over reacting?

387213[/snapback]

Listen to your women's intuition!!!! As good a guy as he may be, your description of his drinking habits list five or six actions/conditions that are symptomatic of alcoholism.

 

Like yourself (and probably the majority of the board), I like a few drinks too. But based on the description of your beau's drinking habits he could have a problem.

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Serious questions - and I need some answers from a men's perspective please.

 

My women's intuition tells me that my beau is an alcholic. He admits to at least three whiskys every evening. But sometimes sounds a little slurred on the phone around 9:30pm. On the weekends he smells of whisky when he comes over in the afternoon and will drink at least another 3.  If we go out- he pours himself a "roadie" and drinks it in the car which I hate but if I say anything about it I'm "nagging". I've not seen him stumble or "sound" drunk, but after the 3rd or 4th drink he gets very emotional (I love you, you're the best, etc. etc.).

 

I've tried to talk about this situation because I'm concerned about what will happen as the relationship goes on. I really like this guy's personality and we get along really well - but this issue sets off little warning bells in my head. He firmly insists that I'm over reacting and he just "likes a few drinks". I like a few drinks too, but not every day! He's also on blood pressure and "stress" medication. Isn't that a vicious combination?

 

The few times he's stayed over, I've detected some shaking in the AM. In those cases, he has left to go and "run errands".

 

No one is perfect and when we go into relationships, there will always be a few negatives - especially as we become older, wiser, and more cautious. But am I over reacting?

387213[/snapback]

 

this is a pretty deep topic for the bills' board, but i think it's safe so say that you are NOT overreacting -- and that's coming from someone who has a drink or two nearly every evening. regardless of whether this is a relationship worth keeping and developing, you need to talk to him about it -- for his sake.

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He drives because he knows I won't let him ride in my car with a drink. And also because he feels that the man should do the driving, open the doors, etc.

387235[/snapback]

Why do good women put up with Bozo's like this?

Sorry to be blunt, but you need to wise up.

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He drinks while he's driving????

 

You don't need FAT...you ought to be able to answer your own question...

 

Yep - you're so right. I just wanted to give him every chance. But now that I've taken the time to put this issue in writing and read the responses from men, it has become so much clearer and I know what I have to do.

 

I've probably known for a while, but kept putting it off because of his other great qualities and the hope that he may admit his demons and ask for help.

 

Damn.....I'll have to drag those red boots out of the closet and go hunting again.

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Yep - you're so right. I just wanted to give him every chance. But now that I've taken the time to put this issue in writing and read the responses from men, it has become so much clearer and I know what I have to do.

 

I've probably known for a while, but kept putting it off because of his other great qualities and the hope that he may admit his demons and ask for help.

 

Damn.....I'll have to drag those red boots out of the closet and go hunting again.

387261[/snapback]

 

 

As nice a guy as he may be, you're making the best move you possibly could.

 

We don't want to be reading about you in the papers.

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Yep - you're so right. I just wanted to give him every chance. But now that I've taken the time to put this issue in writing and read the responses from men, it has become so much clearer and I know what I have to do.

 

I've probably known for a while, but kept putting it off because of his other great qualities and the hope that he may admit his demons and ask for help.

 

Damn.....I'll have to drag those red boots out of the closet and go hunting again.

387261[/snapback]

 

Ouch. I feel for you. But there's no doubt in my mind that your beau is in serious need of help.

 

If he has the shakes in the AM and always has a drink in his hand, he's drinking far too much. And combined with the medication he's taking, that is a dangerous combination.

 

Mike

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Why do good women put up with Bozo's like this?

Sorry to be blunt, but you need to wise up.

387259[/snapback]

Because nuturing is genetic and women think they have the power to change people - when in reality the only one who can make the required decision is the person with the problem.

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