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Posted
So is it true my ex-wife's p***y is equal in timelessness to p***y you really like?

374689[/snapback]

 

I still don't understand the question. too much sun yesterday, I guess.

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Posted

I'd call you a virgin, but we both know what God did to your mind.

 

As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.

 

A butter knife in a world of steak.

 

;)

Posted

I was in a strip club with a few friends, when one of the girls came up and asked to sit. She was a bit chubby, and one of my friends a bit drunk...

 

Girl: Mind if I sit with you for a minute or two?

Friend: Sure, pull up a chair or two.

 

 

Had to be there I'm sure, but I damn near died.

Posted

Heard this in a bar one night:

 

"If you lost 50lbs., got a boob job and were not so ugly....you wouldn't be half bad".

Posted
"..Now go get your f*ckin shine box"

 

this was one of the biggest insults in movie history....it also came with a heavy price tag

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"Hey, what do you like, the leg or the wing, Henry? Or do you still go for the old hearts and lungs? "

 

Good movie.

Posted

I once heard a guy say this to another guy in a bar (ever so eloquently, of course)

 

"you couldn't get laid in a monkey's whorehouse with a bag of bananas"

 

 

nice

Posted
I was in a strip club with a few friends, when one of the girls came up and asked to sit.  She was a bit chubby, and one of my friends a bit drunk...

 

Girl:  Mind if I sit with you for a minute or two?

Friend:  Sure, pull up a chair or two.

Had to be there I'm sure, but I damn near died.

374917[/snapback]

 

:)

Posted
I was in a strip club with a few friends, when one of the girls came up and asked to sit.  She was a bit chubby, and one of my friends a bit drunk...

 

Girl:  Mind if I sit with you for a minute or two?

Friend:  Sure, pull up a chair or two.

Had to be there I'm sure, but I damn near died.

374917[/snapback]

 

reminds me of one of my trips to a nudie bar in Dallas. You know those strippers that are ultra annoying...the one's that come around and offer no small talk whatsoever and just come up and say stuff like "Hey, want a lap dance?"

 

well, there was one that was definatly very high on herself...she had Penthouse looks....nicest body in the place. Problem is, she knew it.

 

her: "Okay, who wants a lap dance?"

my bud: "I'll take one....<<<as she starts tugging at her top>>> ...can you tell that girl over there to come over?"

 

Luckily, we knew the owners.

Posted
reminds me of one of my trips to a nudie bar in Dallas. You know those strippers that are ultra annoying...the one's that come around and offer no small talk whatsoever and just come up and say stuff like "Hey, want a lap dance?"

 

well, there was one that was definatly very high on herself...she had Penthouse looks....nicest body in the place. Problem is, she knew it.

 

her: "Okay, who wants a lap dance?"

my bud: "I'll take one....<<<as she starts tugging at her top>>> ...can you tell that girl over there to come over?"

 

Luckily, we knew the owners.

375181[/snapback]

 

:) Perfect response!

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