Funny Things You Have Done to Avoid Someone

[Another Fan]

At the bar the other night there was a customer that was well I’ll say kind of out there.  The bartender told me he got a smoke outside to get away from him.

 

 

But as an introvert I definitely related there.  Like in high school once I still remember being assigned to group work like I HATED at the time.  So I spent the whole time in the bathroom instead and told the school nurse I got the runs.  

[Ridgewaycynic2013]

Lurked various message boards without signing in...🤔

[Augie]

There was another dad on my son’s middle school basketball team who, for some reason unknown to me, always wanted to sit next to me in the stands. He wasn’t a bad guy, other than the stench that comes with someone who hasn’t bathed in a year or two. That man’s stink could gag a maggot! 

 

Other parents on the team knew he was going to come in and sit next to me, so they would go find another seat when he walked into the gym. They saw no reason why they had to breathe near that man if they didn’t have to, so they cleared out in advances and make it less obvious. I didn’t blame them. 

 

So, what would I do to avoid him? I would fake trips to the restroom or concession stand, then come back and take a different seat. Sometimes it worked, other times he’d just join me in my new location, much to the chagrin of my new neighbors. Decades later that will still get a hearty laugh from the whole family! You almost have to try to stink that bad! 

[Another Fan]

13 minutes ago, Augie said:

There was another dad on my son’s middle school basketball team who, for some reason unknown to me, always wanted to sit next to me in the stands. He wasn’t a bad guy, other than the stench that comes with someone who hasn’t bathed in a year or two. That man’s stink could gag a maggot! 

 

Other parents on the team knew he was going to come in and sit next to me, so they would go find another seat when he walked into the gym. They saw no reason why they had to breathe near that man if they didn’t have to, so they cleared out in advances and make it less obvious. I didn’t blame them. 

 

So, what would I do to avoid him? I would fake trips to the restroom or concession stand, then come back and take a different seat. Sometimes it worked, other times he’d just join me in my new location, much to the chagrin of my new neighbors. Decades later that will still get a hearty laugh from the whole family! You almost have to try to stink that bad! 

Did he like enjoy chatting your ear out off as well?  😂

 

Or it was just him not owning deodorant was the biggest turn off 

[BuffaloBill]

1 hour ago, Another Fan said:

At the bar the other night there was a customer that was well I’ll say kind of out there.  The bartender told me he got a smoke outside to get away from him.

 

 

But as an introvert I definitely related there.  Like in high school once I still remember being assigned to group work like I HATED at the time.  So I spent the whole time in the bathroom instead and told the school nurse I got the runs.  

 

Your comment to the nurse about “runs” reminded me that my southern born wife thinks that term is offensive and wrong.  She had never before heard the situation called that.

 

You all may now return to the main point of the thread after this small detour.

[Augie]

Just now, Another Fan said:

Did he like enjoy chatting your ear out off as well?  😂

 

Or it was just him not owning deodorant was the biggest turn off 

 

I barely remember him talking. It was hard to hear over the smell.  😂 

 

I don’t know where he was originally from, but it wasn’t anywhere clean. He was up there with the Limburger cheese sandwiches my dad would eat when I was a kid. There was no just ignoring it. 

1 minute ago, BuffaloBill said:

 

Your comment to the nurse about “runs” reminded me that my southern born wife thinks that term is offensive and wrong.  She had never before heard the situation called that.

 

You all may now return to the main point of the thread after this small detour.

 

It has to beat “the squirts”, doesn’t it? 

[rockpile]

5 minutes ago, BuffaloBill said:

 

Your comment to the nurse about “runs” reminded me that my southern born wife thinks that term is offensive and wrong.  She had never before heard the situation called that.

 

You all may now return to the main point of the thread after this small detour.

 

So what do they call the runs down south, the two step? 😄

[Draconator]

3 hours ago, BuffaloBill said:

 

Your comment to the nurse about “runs” reminded me that my southern born wife thinks that term is offensive and wrong.  She had never before heard the situation called that.

 

You all may now return to the main point of the thread after this small detour.

 

My wife doesn't fart, and when her kids were little, Fart was the bad F word. She says she's a lady, and ladies don't fart. They toot.

[Bad Things]

9 hours ago, Augie said:

There was another dad on my son’s middle school basketball team who, for some reason unknown to me, always wanted to sit next to me in the stands. He wasn’t a bad guy, other than the stench that comes with someone who hasn’t bathed in a year or two. That man’s stink could gag a maggot! 

 

Other parents on the team knew he was going to come in and sit next to me, so they would go find another seat when he walked into the gym. They saw no reason why they had to breathe near that man if they didn’t have to, so they cleared out in advances and make it less obvious. I didn’t blame them. 

 

So, what would I do to avoid him? I would fake trips to the restroom or concession stand, then come back and take a different seat. Sometimes it worked, other times he’d just join me in my new location, much to the chagrin of my new neighbors. Decades later that will still get a hearty laugh from the whole family! You almost have to try to stink that bad! 

Mate, your story instantly brought me back to the early 90's, when I'd still go back home to upstate for summers.  (I was going to college in Colorado at the time.)

 

I had a sweet summer maintenance job at a local park, and everyday the crew would pile into a couple trucks and ride into the village for some lunch.

There was this one guy, whose BO was un-f'ing-believable. 

 

I distinctly remember 2 times when he squeezed in the truck, next to me, and honestly made me physically wretch.  I've had the misfortune to smell BO a bunch of times in my life, but this dude was the Mt Everest of stank!

 

Thanks for reminding me of that! 

Now I feel like I need to take a shower.

[US Egg]

The couple times I had to try avoiding people for extended periods wasn’t as much funny as it was troublesome.

 

But the thread says funny so….

[Augie]

7 hours ago, US Egg said:

The couple times I had to try avoiding people for extended periods wasn’t as much funny as it was troublesome.

 

But the thread says funny so….

 

Yeah, restraining orders are not fun at all. 🤷‍♂️

[Royale with Cheese]

There have been days where it was long and I just want to be left alone and go home....not talk to anyone.  Even people I like, I just need some time.

 

So if I see too many people waiting at the elevator waiting to go to the parking deck, I will keep walking, make a circle and then go back to the elevator once it's clear.

[Fleezoid]

It was a lot easier to avoid people when cell phones weren't a thing. I know that was a long time ago, but man, the freedom to say, "Sorry dude, I've been busy and haven't been home much the last 2 years. 

[US Egg]

13 hours ago, Augie said:

Yeah, restraining orders are not fun at all. 🤷‍♂️

Yeah, something like that.