Chef Jim Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Chef, you went to CIA, so you probably did this too. When we were in Pantry Kitchen, the kid on the omelette station would get his a$$ kicked with orders because everyone wanted an omelette that came through the line. You got to pick what kind of omelette you were going to serve if you were on that station. The first couple kids to man that station would do something stupid, like pick a four-cheese omelette, or try to kiss a$$ and put something fancy together to impress the instructor. After seeing those guys get buried, our group started to put really horrible sounding omelettes on the board...tuna and sundried tomato, head cheese and olives, etc. It made for a pretty easy shift. Rettata would make for a pretty easy shift as a special. You'd probably lose you job, but it would be a pretty easy last shift. 372211[/snapback] You just gave me the chills. There were some classes there that just kicked your a$$. For instance did you have chef Bagna? I don't remember when you were there. He even makes it into Tony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confindential. He was a maniac. I mean there was this time I tried to put pickle juice in my fritatta and.....................
Johnny Coli Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 You just gave me the chills. There were some classes there that just kicked your a$$. For instance did you have chef Bagna? I don't remember when you were there. He even makes it into Tony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confindential. He was a maniac. I mean there was this time I tried to put pickle juice in my fritatta and..................... 372213[/snapback] Wasn't Bagna Stage Kitchen? Didn't he lock a kid in the pot cage and throw boiling water at him? Chef Hessner threw a frozen duck at my head, once. Good times at the CIA...good times.
Chef Jim Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Wasn't Bagna Stage Kitchen? Didn't he lock a kid in the pot cage and throw boiling water at him? Chef Hessner threw a frozen duck at my head, once. Good times at the CIA...good times. 372226[/snapback] Not stage kitchen. K-7 or probably K-9 because he treated us like dogs. But I did cut my finger pretty bad in his kitchen and he turned into a real kitty cat. Changed completely to make sure I was ok. Very weird but I think I really got to see the true chef Bagna, not the a-hole front he put up.
BF_in_Indiana Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Damn, I could have that gem of a gourmet dish done in under 15 minutes. But then again, I am a professional. 372207[/snapback] THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. You start with uncooked macaroni. You have to boil the water, throw it in there, wait for it to get finished, drain it, and then fry them, adding the eggs towards the end when the noodles begin to brown. Even on "high" the cooking portion takes 15 to 20 minutes. That's not counting the boiling, adding the noodles, and draining.
BF in Indiana Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Hang in there BF. Some girl is going to see pickle juice stains on your Bills t-shirt and will consider you a project guy. Ripe for the molding.
ieatcrayonz Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Hey BF, fear factor called. They want you to stop publishing their recipes in the TBD cookbook.
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. You start with uncooked macaroni. You have to boil the water, throw it in there, wait for it to get finished, drain it, and then fry them, adding the eggs towards the end when the noodles begin to brown. Even on "high" the cooking portion takes 15 to 20 minutes. That's not counting the boiling, adding the noodles, and draining. 372234[/snapback] It's possible when you don't spend 40 minutes on the phone asking "Mama??? How do you peel an egg???" I cooked for my wife the other day: steamed broccoli with garlic butter and grilled chicken served over angel hair pasta with an olive oil and sun-dried tomato sauce. It took half an hour...15 minutes of which was thawing the frozen chicken. And you can't boil noodles and scramble eggs in less than an hour?
Pete Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 I'm not sure I'd be tossing that name around when you've publically admitted it takes you an hour to cook this friggin abortion. Of course, that may include the drive to the store and the other 43 minutes it takes you to pick the shell out of the pan. "Ow, hot. Ow, hot. Ow, hot!" Fried eggs, pasta, and pickle juice? That's not a recipe, it's wicked hangover Saturday morning breakfast at the college bachelor pad with all the food left in the house. Well, unless you're pregnant. 371539[/snapback] This is the funniest fuggin post I have ever read! I thought about it a few times a day and started laughing my ass off! My friends are asking me "what the hell are you laughing at?" Of course I laughed harder and said you would not understand. I can imagine what they are thinking. Man-everytime I think of pickle juice, eggs, noodles and an abortion I will laugh my ass off. Greatest post ever!
Pete Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 Dude, add cheese and subtract the pickle juice (WTF????) and it's a frittata. It's a rather common way of disposing of leftover pasta...the operative words there being "disposing" and "leftover". In fact, I've got that same recipe in a cookbook, with three alterations: 1) use cheese, 2) don't use pickle juice, and 3) prep time is 20 minutes. But it takes you an hour???? Does pouring the pickle juice over it REALLY take an extra 40 minutes? Fried noodles and scrambled eggs with pickle juice. Christ. You should just call it "Hearty meal for the single male with no prospects". 371744[/snapback] Frittatta usually has vegetables in it, lots of vegetables. Pickle juice does not count as a vegetable unless you live in Indiana
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 Frittatta usually has vegetables in it, lots of vegetables. Pickle juice does not count as a vegetable unless you live in Indiana 372405[/snapback] I've seen a few recipes without vegetables. I've even seen a few without pasta (with potatos instead). Either way, BF's concoction can properly be called a Short Bus Frittata or, as seems to be the consensus, a Retard frittata or 'Retatta'. And it still doesn't explain how it takes an hour to boil noodles and scramble eggs...
SilverNRed Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 I've seen a few recipes without vegetables. I've even seen a few without pasta (with potatos instead). Either way, BF's concoction can properly be called a Short Bus Frittata or, as seems to be the consensus, a Retard frittata or 'Retatta'. And it still doesn't explain how it takes an hour to boil noodles and scramble eggs... 372428[/snapback] Holy crap, this may be the funniest thing I've ever read. The "Retatta" sentence is headed straight for my signature.
SilverNRed Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 I'm not sure I'd be tossing that name around when you've publically admitted it takes you an hour to cook this friggin abortion. 371539[/snapback] ...another nominee for funniest sentence ever.....
CentralVaBills Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 This is the funniest fuggin post I have ever read! I thought about it a few times a day and started laughing my ass off! My friends are asking me "what the hell are you laughing at?" Of course I laughed harder and said you would not understand. I can imagine what they are thinking. Man-everytime I think of pickle juice, eggs, noodles and an abortion I will laugh my ass off. Greatest post ever! 372402[/snapback] Pete, I agree. That had to be the greatest post in TBD history. I was doing the same thing at work today. Check in on TSW, and I kept re-reading AD's particular post and laughing my ass off. I know people were like.....WTF is he doing. A perfect blend of anger, humiliation, disbelief, cockiness, and sarcasm. I mean, you can't write up better stuff than that. An instant classic. "This Friggin Abortion" should live on forever. I almost choked when I first read that, and then followed the link.
BF_in_Indiana Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 All I can say is that it's quite easy to entertain monkeys. You guys prove that fact every day.
nick in* england Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 Pickle juice is optional. I don't use it, but some people do. It takes almost an hour to make the dish. The noodles take a while to boil, sit, and then you have to fry them. 371993[/snapback] I'm sorry to prolong the misery here... But this has got to be a misnomer... Pickle juice is optional. I don't use it, but some people do. What fuggin people?? The french (Nouilles frites par oeuf sans jus de cornichon)?? The germans (Ei gebratene Nudeln ohne Essiggurkesaft)??? The chinese (蛋油煎的麵條沒有嫩黃瓜汁)???? The spanish (Tallarines fritos huevo sin el jugo del pepinillo)????? Sorry but this recipe looks to me like it's basically re-freid barf. YOU are the ONLY person who would make and eat this steaming heap of vomit.
eball Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 That would be the idiot from Alaska who had nothing better to do with his Wednesday night than to look for the stupidest thing he could find 372073[/snapback] ROFLMAO....and he succeeded in finding the stupidest thing ever. well done AD. i can't believe i missed this yesterday. how do you get coffee off an LCD monitor screen and keyboard? i had to share this one with my wife (a gourmet cook) and she was crying with laughter. DING! that's the timer. the 30 minute noodles are almost done. another 30 and the retard frittata will be ready! damn, i wish the recipe wasn't so complicated...
VABills Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 I'm sorry to prolong the misery here... But this has got to be a misnomer... Pickle juice is optional. I don't use it, but some people do. What fuggin people?? The french (Nouilles frites par oeuf sans jus de cornichon)?? The germans (Ei gebratene Nudeln ohne Essiggurkesaft)??? The chinese (蛋油煎的麵條沒有嫩黃瓜汁)???? The spanish (Tallarines fritos huevo sin el jugo del pepinillo)????? Sorry but this recipe looks to me like it's basically re-freid barf. YOU are the ONLY person who would make and eat this steaming heap of vomit. 372507[/snapback] Or people looking for a snack when drunk, after goosing the Queen. Right Nick?
nick in* england Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 Or people looking for a snack when drunk, after goosing the Queen. Right Nick? 372536[/snapback] ok maybe them!
CentralVaBills Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 ROFLMAO....and he succeeded in finding the stupidest thing ever. well done AD. i can't believe i missed this yesterday. how do you get coffee off an LCD monitor screen and keyboard? i had to share this one with my wife (a gourmet cook) and she was crying with laughter. DING! that's the timer. the 30 minute noodles are almost done. another 30 and the retard frittata will be ready! damn, i wish the recipe wasn't so complicated... 372522[/snapback] Even now, a full two days later.......I'm not dying laughing, but just knowing that you just read and laughed at the post made me re-laugh at it also. I think the post should be pinned somewhere permanently. It has even spunoff into other off-shoot posts. It even took over FAT. Perhaps the most influential post of all time. Maybe not thread, but no single individual post may have done more damage than this one.
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