Poop Assessment

[Irv]

I admit it.  I analyze almost every poop I take.  I take great pride in a solid, one or two-section, dark brown coil that seems to be more and more elusive as I age.  I will even try to use as little TP as possible to get a good look.  If you don't do it, you should!

[Augie]

I was hoping I misunderstood the title. 

[Irv]

Just now, Augie said:

I was hoping I misunderstood the title. 

Maybe you did.  Are you with the IRS?

[US Egg]

You drunk?

[BringBackFergy]

I wake up every morning realizing Taylor Swift, Bill Gates and even the Dali Llama take a healthy crap on the throne. It puts me at even ground with them for five minutes and I feel less inconsequential in life. 

[Mike in Horseheads]

Can you imagine working at Coliguard and opening up containers of sh1t all day and running tests on them?  Who has to flush the remains?  when the UPS truck pulls up with pallets of tests who gets them in mail room and dollops them out?

[Augie]

18 minutes ago, BringBackFergy said:

I wake up every morning realizing Taylor Swift, Bill Gates and even the Dali Llama take a healthy crap on the throne. It puts me at even ground with them for five minutes and I feel less inconsequential in life. 

 

[Ned Flanders]

1 hour ago, Mike in Horseheads said:

Can you imagine working at Coliguard and opening up containers of sh1t all day and running tests on them?  Who has to flush the remains?  when the UPS truck pulls up with pallets of tests who gets them in mail room and dollops them out?

Think about this whenever the commercial comes on...hopefully the Jardiance lady and the dancers work there. 

[Johnny Hammersticks]

Dr Mercola probiotics and Metamucil changed my life.  As long as I stay reasonably hydrated, I empty the tank like clockwork every morning after my coffee.  I barely even need TP anymore.  👌

[Augie]

9 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

Dr Mercola probiotics and Metamucil changed my life.  As long as I stay reasonably hydrated, I empty the tank like clockwork every morning after my coffee.  I barely even need TP anymore.  👌

 

Well, I guess I’m glad to hear about your savings. I guess. 

[PastaJoe]

1 hour ago, Mike in Horseheads said:

Can you imagine working at Coliguard and opening up containers of sh1t all day and running tests on them?  Who has to flush the remains?  when the UPS truck pulls up with pallets of tests who gets them in mail room and dollops them out?

I believe they only need a small smear  on a test kit retrieved with a small stick to test. They don’t ask you to squat over the box.

[Johnny Hammersticks]

13 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

Well, I guess I’m glad to hear about your savings. I guess. 

Just a square or two does the job.

[Augie]

2 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

Just a square or two does the job.

 

Wow! No mop? 

[Another Fan]

This thread is a real 💩show 🤣🤣

[Mike in Horseheads]

16 minutes ago, PastaJoe said:

I believe they only need a small smear  on a test kit retrieved with a small stick to test. They don’t ask you to squat over the box.

Ah ya they do, you crap in a container that hangs over the bowl, take a test on part of it and send it ALL back.  Been there done that.  nothing like dropping off a box of crap at the UPS store.

[Wacka]

Or having you and the lady behind you in line at UPS doing  the same thing.

Edited 16 hours ago by Wacka

[Bad Things]

[Steve O]

15 hours ago, Irv said:

I admit it.  I analyze almost every poop I take.  I take great pride in a solid, one or two-section, dark brown coil that seems to be more and more elusive as I age.  I will even try to use as little TP as possible to get a good look.  If you don't do it, you should!

Admittedly I do too. But I save discussion of said analysis for the Dr's office. Where do you draw the discussion line, at a Bills message board? At dinner when there's a lull in the conversation?

Edited 4 hours ago by Steve O

[zow2]

I'm eating a big sloppy breakfast burrito and for some reason clicked on this thread.  Why i have no idea.

[Sweats]

When i was working in the nuclear industry, we would routinely have to do poop tests to get analyzed for any Alpha radiation contamination.......every once in awhile the poop transport cart would tip over if the guy was pushing it too fast.

 

You ever think you're having a bad day?..........wait till you see the poop cart tip over, the poor guy who had to clean it up and the angry mob that had to force a 2nd poop for a new Alpha test.