VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Maybe because I wanted YOUR opinion? 362993[/snapback] It's obviously not my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockpile Posted June 21, 2005 Author Share Posted June 21, 2005 I thought it was a dance in the Carribean? 362889[/snapback] Alex: That is correct, next category. GG: I'll take "What did Rockpile start this time" for $500 Alex: When threatened with basement flooding what should you insert into the plughole on your toilet. GG: What is a tennis ball, Alex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark VI Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Cant wait to get to the whole "chopping off of the penis" thing and what THAT means. 362991[/snapback] Bobbitism. I heard they have a compound in Idaho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Maybe because I wanted YOUR opinion? 362993[/snapback] http://www.vatican.va/phome_en.htm I am sure if you look sthrough here, you will find that and many more answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Gant Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Hey AD, poll ten random Catholics on anything and you will never find Lemmings. Your more likely to find a mud-fight. The board just kicked the Jesuits out of the church....who's next... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Hey AD, poll ten random Catholics on anything and you will never find Lemmings.Your more likely to find a mud-fight. The board just kicked the Jesuits out of the church....who's next... 363013[/snapback] No just one idiot did. Oh and the Church teachings are so vast, to be honest very few folks know the entire spectrum and teachings. Me, I can't even always remember the 10 Commandments, let alone the Humane Vitae. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reuben Gant Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Oh and the Church teachings are so vast, to be honest very few folks know the entire spectrum and teachings. 363018[/snapback] Very true. But there is the perception in the US that the whole Church is a Monolith... with everyone acting and thinking the same. I grew up near quite a few of the Ukranian Catholics who are in communion with Rome but have a married priesthood. Also there are groups in the Church as different as Opus Dei and Maryknoll. It really is like Joyce says in Finnegan's Wake: "Here comes everybody" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 363025[/snapback] Cat got your "tongue" ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crap Throwing Monkey Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 So what's the Catholic definition of "Ignorance"? 362985[/snapback] "Beausox" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Very true. But there is the perception in the US that the whole Church is a Monolith... with everyone acting and thinking the same. I grew up near quite a few of the Ukranian Catholics who are in communion with Rome but have a married priesthood. Also there are groups in the Church as different as Opus Dei and Maryknoll. It really is like Joyce says in Finnegan's Wake: "Here comes everybody" 363025[/snapback] That really is the truth. The Catholic Church has been over the years very accepting of different cultures, ideas, etc... At times too tolerant of some activities. But it is a very diverse organization. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 "Beausox" 363030[/snapback] Bingo. The Church is not as black and white, cut and dry as "some" make it out to be. Those are the ones who make it difficult to be part of the community of the Church. The Church really wants people there, and no not just to get your money. I truely believe most in the Church accept everyone, with very few hard and fast rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gross Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 I sure hope you never jerked off. That's pretty much half murder. 362740[/snapback] Reminds me of a Father Guido bit. Went something like: See, life is like a job. Everyday, you show up to work and you make your wages... $14.50. When you die, you go to heaven, and God is standing there with this HUGE pile of money, and he figures up how many days you worked and gives you your money... he doesn't need a calculator or anything. But, don't forget about your sins. For every sin, you have to pay God back. For example, if you stole a bag of chips when you were a kid... well... that's like... $6.00. Every time you lied... $10.00 If you ever murdered anyone... now.. that's a big one... it's like... $100,000.00..... ... Masturbation.... that's like... I dunno... 30... maybe 35 cents... but it adds up... Now, if you can't afford to pay for all your sins, you have to live life ALL over again until you get it right...Sort of like reincarnation - many nuns are Mafia guys working it off. Lately.. I've been having this bad nightmare. I'm an old man, and I died. And there I am, standing in front of God.... ... and I'm just 35 cents short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin in Va Beach Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Reminds me of a Father Guido bit. Went something like: See, life is like a job. Everyday, you show up to work and you make your wages... $14.50. When you die, you go to heaven, and God is standing there with this HUGE pile of money, and he figures up how many days you worked and gives you your money... he doesn't need a calculator or anything. But, don't forget about your sins. For every sin, you have to pay God back. For example, if you stole a bag of chips when you were a kid... well... that's like... $6.00. Every time you lied... $10.00 If you ever murdered anyone... now.. that's a big one... it's like... $100,000.00..... ... Masturbation.... that's like... I dunno... 30... maybe 35 cents... but it adds up... Now, if you can't afford to pay for all your sins, you have to live life ALL over again until you get it right...Sort of like reincarnation - many nuns are Mafia guys working it off. Lately.. I've been having this bad nightmare. I'm an old man, and I died. And there I am, standing in front of God.... ... and I'm just 35 cents short. 363081[/snapback] Holy crap that was funny. Starts adding and multiplying 35 cents Yeesh...I better live until 90... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gross Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 How did I reject Vatican II? What it says there is what I said. That one can be saved through either ignorance or a desire to seek God. 362982[/snapback] Children are never condemned. However, every Christian faith does say that you have to accept Jesus or you are condemned. But this also applies to those who have reach the age of reasoning. Has nothing to do either with saying the right thing. Actions speak louder. 362830[/snapback] In response to K-Dog's question about all non-Christians going to Hell. You are painting things with too broad a brush stroke there VA. Calvinism accepts that we are saved through the grace of God alone (because not even Christians are "worthy"), which leaves room for the interpretation that God can allow others into Heaven as he sees fit...who's to question God and his motives anyway? Yes he called the Jews "his chosen," and made the new covenant with them through his son Jesus Christ. Yes, according to many Christian faiths (I don't pretend to know every splinter faith like you do), accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is the one way to guarantee you reach Heaven (and, of course, within the Roman Catholic faith, you need not only faith but deed). But the logic does not necessarily follow that all non-Christians go to Hell, or the unofficial wishy-washy place called "limbo." God will do what He wants and if He thinks a non-Christian belongs in Heaven, who are we to argue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 In response to K-Dog's question about all non-Christians going to Hell.You are painting things with too broad a brush stroke there VA. Calvinism accepts that we are saved through the grace of God alone (because not even Christians are "worthy"), which leaves room for the interpretation that God can allow others into Heaven as he sees fit...who's to question God and his motives anyway? Yes he called the Jews "his chosen," and made the new covenant with them through his son Jesus Christ. Yes, according to many Christian faiths (I don't pretend to know every splinter faith like you do), accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is the one way to guarantee you reach Heaven (and, of course, within the Roman Catholic faith, you need not only faith but deed). But the logic does not necessarily follow that all non-Christians go to Hell, or the unofficial wishy-washy place called "limbo." God will do what He wants and if He thinks a non-Christian belongs in Heaven, who are we to argue? 363089[/snapback] That's what I said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gross Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 That's what I said. 363096[/snapback] As I quoted, you said: "However, every Christian faith does say that you have to accept Jesus or you are condemned." After a couple more responses, it appeared you softened that a bit, but that's where you started from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 As I quoted, you said: "However, every Christian faith does say that you have to accept Jesus or you are condemned." After a couple more responses, it appeared you softened that a bit, but that's where you started from. 363103[/snapback] Because I was just spouting sh-- at first, and then decided to give real teachings. The problem is a lot of folks believe what I aid at first to be true about the Catholic faith and it isn't . I was really just playing to the stereotype. Again, if you want facts, that vaatican website has a lot of the answers and the Church is not as bad as one would have you believe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Gross Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Because I was just spouting sh-- at first, and then decided to give real teachings. The problem is a lot of folks believe what I aid at first to be true about the Catholic faith and it isn't . I was really just playing to the stereotype. Again, if you want facts, that vaatican website has a lot of the answers and the Church is not as bad as one would have you believe. 363123[/snapback] Oh, so you were "acting," eh? Brilliant! And don't worry, I've got you covered. I have $.35 set aside to pay in indulgences for the day (hopefully waaaaaaaay off into the future) that you meet your maker... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Coli Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Oh, so you were "acting," eh? Brilliant! And don't worry, I've got you covered. I have $.35 set aside to pay in indulgences for the day (hopefully waaaaaaaay off into the future) that you meet your maker... 363129[/snapback] Maybe we should have a telethon to raise money for Catholic masturbators? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VABills Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Oh, so you were "acting," eh? Brilliant! And don't worry, I've got you covered. I have $.35 set aside to pay in indulgences for the day (hopefully waaaaaaaay off into the future) that you meet your maker... 363129[/snapback] I have actually had the discussion with our pastor when I was an altar boy. I asked about the friends of mine that were not Catholic and what would happen. Told him I didn't think it was fair. He basically said the nun who said it was full of crap and that God will look at people as being good or not, and accept them based on that. I knew long before the answer to the question. But yes there are a lot of morons who believe that only through their religion can you go to heaven. There are versions of babtists who believe all Catholics will go to hell, because they haven't been bad enough to have been born again into the Church. They say one must have done agregously wrong and repented in order to be accepted into the eyes of the Lord. We have a couple of those at work. So I guess in their eyes, if I haven't murdered, raped a dog, or something along those lines then I can't be saved. I always want to ask what they did that was so bad they they are sure they are "saved". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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