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Posted
10 hours ago, Thunderstruck said:

I went hiking in Montana a few weeks ago, and I was pleased to enjoy the company of one Keon Coleman. As we were making our way through Glacier National Park, we came upon a 6 foot tall 1,000 pound grizzly bear who was less than happy to meet our acquaintances. I immediately took off running in the opposite direction. Keon screamed at me "You'll never outrun it, Thunderstruck! Just play dead!". I responded- "Keon- I don't have to outrun the grizzly. I just need to outrun you." He laughed, but it was one of those nervous laughs. The kind where he knew what I was saying was true.

 

Grizzlies are actually quite fast for their size and can reach speeds close to 40mph in short distances. 🤔

Posted (edited)

The Dolphins held a pre-draft workout with Keon Coleman but decided not to draft him because Tua kept overthrowing him by 10 yards. 

Edited by MPL
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Posted

When Keon finally finishes his 40 yard dash from his combine, then I'll make jokes.  But until then, I think it's a little premature. 

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Posted

Bills come out Aug 10 vs Bears and Coleman runs a go route, fast forward to home opener Sept 8th vs Cards. First offensive snap Josh realizes Coleman has just completed his route and is wide open. He throws it to him for a TD and we all dance to Slow Ride

Posted

The real reason the Bills traded back twice was because Keon Coleman was too slow to answer the phone call the first two times... so they called him first thing in the morning the day of round 2 to give him ample time to answer... 

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Posted

Keon Coleman is so slow that when he reaches his top speed, it's not as fast as the top speed of some of the other players in the league that are faster than him.

 

Keon Coleman is so slow that when he ran his 40 yard dash, there were people who were slightly concerned about the time it took him to complete.

 

Keon Coleman is so slow that it's going to take him another 8 months to win his first super bowl.

Posted

Keon Coleman got his first network TV gig. Dancing With The Stars? Nope. The Masked Singer? Nope. It's a new show called "Are You Faster Than A 5th Grader?"

Posted

They replaced the “Slow Children at Play” sign in my neighborhood. It says “Keon Coleman”.

 

Keon Coleman and a sloth were hanging out. He asked the sloth what the big hurry was.

 

Hey o.

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