Keon Coleman Slow Jokes

[HerdMentality]

Slowest member of the Wiserhood.

[Just in Atlanta]

The 100 Year War was supposed to last one year. Keon Coleman fought in it.

[Fan in Chicago]

There once was a boy from Opelousas

Who was slower than a snail in mollases

When his QB threw him the ball to score

The snail reached first and had a snore

And the boy was left pining for Macy's

[DCofNC]

The Bills are just making sure :13 seconds never happens again, Coleman will run the clock out on his way to scoring.

[Just in Atlanta]

My slow cooker died. I replaced it with Keon Coleman.

 

 

[Milanos Milano]

Keon Coleman is so slow, that even Aaron Maybin could get a coverage sack. 

[SydneyBillsFan]

Keon Coleman is so slow that he hits the gas pedal to reduce speed whilst approaching a red light.

 

The teamsters have officially declared that all their future 48 hour workplace go-slows are now to be referred to as "Coleman's"

 

That's all I've got.

[JohnnyBuffalo]

When asked to describe Coleman’s speed McDermott said glacial is the term I would use.  
 

One reporter is quoted as saying “Thank goodness he doesn’t play for the Sabres as he may actually get run over by the Zamboni if he did.”

Edited June 14, 2024 by JohnnyBuffalo
Added one

[Milanos Milano]

On 6/11/2024 at 12:06 PM, TheBrownBear said:

Josh and his new no. 1 receiver building on field chemistry.

 

[Jon in Pasadena]

A "Keon Coleman" decay is so slow that NIST qualifies it to radioactively date the longest possible measurable time interval.

The only thing it's good for is dating the Universe itself, and even for that it's probably overkill.

[ghostwriter]

There’s a Rich Eisen joke in here too somewhere.

[leonbus23]

On 6/12/2024 at 5:31 AM, njbuff said:

Jerry Rice, Chris Carter and Art Monk were all slower than Coleman.

 

How did they turn out?

 

Best Joke!

[JP51]

Keon is so Sloe that the Gin evaporates and the Fizz goes flat.

[Don Otreply]

Keon Coleman is slower than the DMV Sloth in the movie Zootopia…, 

[njbuff]

Coleman is slower than an Undertaker entrance. 

[TheyCallMeAndy]

31 minutes ago, njbuff said:

Coleman is slower than an Undertaker entrance. 

[Milanos Milano]

Can someone photoshop a Shellder on Keon Coleman? 

 

[US Egg]

3 hours ago, njbuff said:

Coleman is slower than an Undertaker entrance. 

Greatest ring entrance ever.

[sven233]

Keon Coleman is so slow, he starts his pre-game warmups the night before.

[Beck Water]

4 hours ago, TheyCallMeAndy said:

 

Wasn't he spoofing that with the cryo chamber during his post-draft visit?