Keon Coleman Slow Jokes

[I'm Spartacus]

They changed the phrase "slow as molasses" to slow as Coleman.

[Royale with Cheese]

Keon Coleman is so slow that if he had a race against a pregnant woman, he would finish 3rd.

[BuffaloBillies]

Coleman's so slow Kelvin Benjamin could beat him down the field eating another bag of doritos.

[transient]

2 hours ago, Thunderstruck said:

I went hiking in Montana a few weeks ago, and I was pleased to enjoy the company of one Keon Coleman. As we were making our way through Glacier National Park, we came upon a 6 foot tall 1,000 pound grizzly bear who was less than happy to meet our acquaintances. I immediately took off running in the opposite direction. Keon screamed at me "You'll never outrun it, Thunderstruck! Just play dead!". I responded- "Keon- I don't have to outrun the grizzly. I just need to outrun you." He laughed, but it was one of those nervous laughs. The kind where he knew what I was saying was true.

 

6' and 1000 lbs... something tells me that bear wasn't running very fast, either

[Cruiserplayer]

The Bills new offensive scheme:

Let the defense outrun the coverage.

[Beast]

Keon Coleman is so slow that I was banned and reinstated on this board during the time he ran his 40.

[JakeFrommStateFarm]

Coleman is so slow that he came in 3rd place in the race between the tortoise and the hare

[Rampant Buffalo]

Several years from now the following will happen:

 

Divorce attorney: "Keon Coleman has given me permission to issue the following statement. He wishes for a divorce. Unfortunately, I was unable to help Mr. Coleman. He is completely incapable of getting a divorce. For that matter, he is completely incapable of getting any kind of separation."

 

 

 

 

 

Edited June 11 by Rampant Buffalo

[RyanC883]

13 hours ago, Beck Water said:

Keon Coleman is so slow, the Bills signed a Sloth to cover him in practice

 

and the sloth was too fast!

Coleman is so slow that the D doesn’t bother to cover him, he can only get a 1 yard gain even if he catches it. 

[FireChans]

16 hours ago, Milanos Milano said:

We need some AI art in this thread. You should create one. 

I have a wonderful photo of Keon getting caught from behind by a sloth-human hybrid player in a prehistoric Highmark Stadium, but it is too big to upload.

[Beast]

Keon Coleman is so slow that he gets dizzy from the earth turning.

[TheBrownBear]

16 hours ago, Milanos Milano said:

We need some AI art in this thread. You should create one. 

Josh and his new no. 1 receiver building on field chemistry.

 

[Rampant Buffalo]

8 minutes ago, FireChans said:

I have a wonderful photo of Keon getting caught from behind by a sloth-human hybrid player in a prehistoric Highmark Stadium, but it is too big to upload.

 

If you're using Windows, you need to go into Paint. Open the photo. Then click file (upper left corner), then "save as" from the file menu. Choose .JPEG. Try uploading that. If that doesn't work, go back into Paint. File, save as, and this time choose GIF. You should be able to upload the GIF file for sure. If that doesn't work let me know.

[Beck Water]

9 minutes ago, Rampant Buffalo said:

 

If you're using Windows, you need to go into Paint. Open the photo. Then click file (upper left corner), then "save as" from the file menu. Choose .JPEG. Try uploading that. If that doesn't work, go back into Paint. File, save as, and this time choose GIF. You should be able to upload the GIF file for sure. If that doesn't work let me know.

 

https://imageresizer.com/ also works

 

So does https://www.adobe.com/express/feature/image/resize

 

if you're not on a computer, well, There's an App for That 

[somnus00]

I heard it takes Keon an hour to run 30 minutes.

[BADOLBILZ]

 

Keon versus Freeze (unconfirmed)

 

[BillsFooteball]

Takes Coleman 2 hours to watch 60 minutes 

[frostbitmic]

So now our Offense has the Shnoman and the slowman.

[TheMightyMaxio]

Coleman is sooooo slow; he is paced by a Frigid Atom Cloud.

[Thrivefourfive]

16 hours ago, Beck Water said:

Keon Coleman is so slow, the Bills signed a Sloth to cover him in practice

the chiefs signed WR Sloth#0 practice player to give their defense a look