Parents and youth sports (again)

[K D]

I had always wanted a son but the thought of being in the youth sports scene makes me want a girly girl now.

[teef]

1 hour ago, boyst said:

Girls gymnastics is just as foul.

 

My stepson does parkour and ninja. The gymnastics classes are across the building. The kids just get berated while their moms just play on their phones. After practice you'll hear the mother ask why her did not perform well in practice or couldn't succeed in preparation.

 

Mom is almost always 40+ lbs overweight and a freaking mess.

 

It's f'n practice. That's where you are supposed to take chances and find your failures.

i think gymnastics may be the girl version.  my daughter did it for a few years when she was younger, just mostly for fun. there's a point where you have to get serious or get out.  we're talking a practice or two a week to 4-5 days a week, travel tournaments, never ending seasons, etc.  unless my kids shows some wild talent, this just isn't going to happen.  even cheerleading has become a full time gig.    i'm about 99.9999999% sure my kids will never go on to play division 1 anything, so we see sports as character builders and getting some exercise.  it's much more enjoyable.

[boyst]

13 minutes ago, teef said:

i think gymnastics may be the girl version.  my daughter did it for a few years when she was younger, just mostly for fun. there's a point where you have to get serious or get out.  we're talking a practice or two a week to 4-5 days a week, travel tournaments, never ending seasons, etc.  unless my kids shows some wild talent, this just isn't going to happen.  even cheerleading has become a full time gig.    i'm about 99.9999999% sure my kids will never go on to play division 1 anything, so we see sports as character builders and getting some exercise.  it's much more enjoyable.

Friend of ours has a son who is 11 and nationally ranked. Breaks at least 2 bones a year, always injured, always traveling.  It's insane!

[Augie]

3 hours ago, teef said:

i think gymnastics may be the girl version.  my daughter did it for a few years when she was younger, just mostly for fun. there's a point where you have to get serious or get out.  we're talking a practice or two a week to 4-5 days a week, travel tournaments, never ending seasons, etc.  unless my kids shows some wild talent, this just isn't going to happen.  even cheerleading has become a full time gig.    i'm about 99.9999999% sure my kids will never go on to play division 1 anything, so we see sports as character builders and getting some exercise.  it's much more enjoyable.

 

There was so much pressure to specialize it was uncomfortable, and irrational. If you don’t play baseball 12 months a year you will fall behind the other kids, they tell you. What a load of BS. The best athletes are the best athletes and they can play basketball, and football, and soccer (which is great for improving your feet for any sport) and then come back around for baseball if they feel like it. They will make room for you if you can help them win. 

 

I loved those years and missed them when they were gone, but there was a truck load of crap you had to put up with. Probably the best times were when the kids were all in the hotel pool, we’d order stacks of pizzas and the dads would drink beer and watch sports in the hotel bar. That’s where I saw the Brady Tuck Rule game. I don’t know who won the games that weekend, but that was a good time. Recognize it’s kids playing a game and chill. 

[teef]

8 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

There was so much pressure to specialize it was uncomfortable, and irrational. If you don’t play baseball 12 months a year you will fall behind the other kids, they tell you. What a load of BS. The best athletes are the best athletes and they can play basketball, and football, and soccer (which is great for improving your feet for any sport) and then come back around for baseball if they feel like it. They will make room for you if you can help them win. 

 

I loved those years and missed them when they were gone, but there was a truck load of crap you had to put up with. Probably the best times were when the kids were all in the hotel pool, we’d order stacks of pizzas and the dads would drink beer and watch sports in the hotel bar. That’s where I saw the Brady Tuck Rule game. I don’t know who won the games that weekend, but that was a good time. Recognize it’s kids playing a game and chill. 

it's still that way now.  for most of the bigger schools in our area, if you're not on a full year travel team, you're not going to make the varsity high school team.  we had a dad in our office last spring, and when i asked him what was new, he led with his son making the varsity baseball team.  he looked me right in the eye, with no real excitement and said, "you have no idea what a big deal it is."   completely burned out.    

 

i do know what you mean about the camaraderie.  the hockey parents do seem to have a great time even though they're gone almost every weekend.  my kids are 8 and 5, so we are at the low pressure phase of introducing them to sports. i really don't care what they do, but they have to be involved in something...sports, drama, art, music, anything.  they just can't sit on their asses and not evolve in some way.  

[Royale with Cheese]

50 minutes ago, teef said:

it's still that way now.  for most of the bigger schools in our area, if you're not on a full year travel team, you're not going to make the varsity high school team.  we had a dad in our office last spring, and when i asked him what was new, he led with his son making the varsity baseball team.  he looked me right in the eye, with no real excitement and said, "you have no idea what a big deal it is."   completely burned out.    

 

i do know what you mean about the camaraderie.  the hockey parents do seem to have a great time even though they're gone almost every weekend.  my kids are 8 and 5, so we are at the low pressure phase of introducing them to sports. i really don't care what they do, but they have to be involved in something...sports, drama, art, music, anything.  they just can't sit on their asses and not evolve in some way.  

 

I did the travel ball and I got burned out but it was something I thought I was supposed to do.

 

My son loves football which I am actually happy about.  He's trying basketball and soccer...I'm not sure how the AAU summer leagues are.  I never played in them.

I do know I averaged 85 baseball games in 2 months of summer baseball growing up.  That's crazy.

[Augie]

1 hour ago, teef said:

it's still that way now.  for most of the bigger schools in our area, if you're not on a full year travel team, you're not going to make the varsity high school team.  we had a dad in our office last spring, and when i asked him what was new, he led with his son making the varsity baseball team.  he looked me right in the eye, with no real excitement and said, "you have no idea what a big deal it is."   completely burned out.    

 

i do know what you mean about the camaraderie.  the hockey parents do seem to have a great time even though they're gone almost every weekend.  my kids are 8 and 5, so we are at the low pressure phase of introducing them to sports. i really don't care what they do, but they have to be involved in something...sports, drama, art, music, anything.  they just can't sit on their asses and not evolve in some way.  

 

Exactly! We did piano lessons and The Great Violin Nightmare of 6th Grade, the pet therapy dog thing learning to groom, etc. You can’t just sit and play video games. Well rounded kids are the goal. 

 

Maybe my favorite story was my son and some of the football team would go and read to elementary kids in lower income areas (arranged, of course). Those are the lessons we wanted them to learn. I didn’t love that school, but I loved that football coach. 

 

 

[teef]

1 hour ago, Royale with Cheese said:

 

I did the travel ball and I got burned out but it was something I thought I was supposed to do.

 

My son loves football which I am actually happy about.  He's trying basketball and soccer...I'm not sure how the AAU summer leagues are.  I never played in them.

I do know I averaged 85 baseball games in 2 months of summer baseball growing up.  That's crazy.

I thought the aau basket ball was somewhat intense in terms of competitiveness, but I don’t know how busy the schedule is.  85 baseball games in 2 months is insane.  I’ve been to everyone of my kids events, but I just couldn’t do that.  
 

just have them try everything.  my son is starting the school of rock this week where they introduce them to a few instruments and see what they like.   as long as he doesn’t choose something like the harp, I’m in. 

Edited February 6 by teef

[Augie]

I highly recommend soccer. No matter what other sports you get involved with, better feet will help. There are guys like Patrick Ewing and Hakeem Olajuwon to tell you that. Footwork is critical in most sports. 

[Royale with Cheese]

2 hours ago, teef said:

I thought the aau basket ball was somewhat intense in terms of competitiveness, but I don’t know how busy the schedule is.  85 baseball games in 2 months is insane.  I’ve been to everyone of my kids events, but I just couldn’t do that.  
 

just have them try everything.  my son is starting the school of rock this week where they introduce them to a few instruments and see what they like.   as long as he doesn’t choose something like the harp, I’m in. 

Amateur league baseball in Atlanta is insane.  You have tournaments virtually every weekend.  You could go 2 and out but if you keep winning, it was usually 5-6 games to the championship.

[May Day 10]

My son got into lacrosse last Summer.  

 

I thought it was a nice breath of fresh air from the hyper-competitive parent-ruined travel sports.

 

It feels very grassroots.  It was easy to pick up for beginners who have any athletic ability.  The referees all seemed to enforce different rules, but they would always articulate all fouls and teach the kids.  Parents, overall do not know what is going on, so everyone just sits there and watches.  

 

 

Baseball locally is a joke.  Its like the wild west and at every age group, 6 or 7 new travel teams pop up every year with some zany new name started by groups of angry parents/coaches.  The season here is like 2 months, yet everyone thinks their kids are going pro.

 

Hockey is bad too, but there is a framework of a governing body(s) and any ordinary Joe cant just go and start a team.

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

18 hours ago, Augie said:

I highly recommend soccer. No matter what other sports you get involved with, better feet will help. There are guys like Patrick Ewing and Hakeem Olajuwon to tell you that. Footwork is critical in most sports. 

 

 

[LewPort71]

Sign  by local soccer field

 

 

[That's No Moon]

On 2/7/2024 at 12:21 PM, May Day 10 said:

My son got into lacrosse last Summer.  

I thought it was a nice breath of fresh air from the hyper-competitive parent-ruined travel sports.

Hockey is bad too, but there is a framework of a governing body(s) and any ordinary Joe cant just go and start a team.

It depends where you live. Lacrosse is toxic where I live. There are too many parents who DO know the game or played the game here and they run things.  It's a shame, my kid played lacrosse for a couple years and he was good at it.  He played until he aged out of the youth program we moved him to (in the town next door because the local team was toxic and allowed hazing of 9 year olds) and when he got to the point where he had to play for school, and with the toxic people we left, he stopped playing rather than deal with them and their parents. 

 

Hockey is bad also and while an average joe can't go start a team a non average Joe can buy a rink and that rarely goes well and sometimes a local rink decides kick clubs out of rinks, create their own teams, and then jack up prices.  The local leagues and associations throw a fit and threaten x,y, and z and then let it go because at the end of the day, the owner of the big rink (or rinks) has more money and power.  Team Philadelphia out of Ice Line in West Chester, PA is a perfect example of this.  Owned by the rink, kicked out a club that had been there for decades.  Local league tried to sanction them, they played an independent schedule for a year then the league let them in. The club eventually left that league for a new league that was formed by the owner of multiple rinks called Black Bear.  The Black Bear rinks basically flipped off USA Hockey and the sanctioning bodies and dared them to exclude them from Nationals,etc. and that didn't happen.  They were the 800 pound gorilla because they owned something like 14 rinks (now 37) AND the clubs that ALL of those dues paying members played at.

 

My kid just finished with hockey, he loves to play but he's done with the off-ice BS with coaches after 9 years and more games than I care to admit.  He's also a thrower for track and he's pursuing that in college next year.  He enjoys it, is decent at it, and there aren't the politics involved.  You can either throw far or you can't. It's pretty objective.

 

My other kid was a district and state level swimmer for our local YMCA until this year.  Coach has a kid on the team who can do no wrong which is always frustrating.  Bigger issue is my kid is a big boy, he's not fat but he's just big and he's strong as hell and he basically got fat-shamed out of swimming by the coach.  God bless my kid he stepped up at age 13 just after he had a season where he qualified for the state meet and said "I'm done".  He wanted to play football and if you ask him why it's because he gets praised for being big in football and he always got crap for it at swim. He played for his 8th grade team only, and not for the local youth level team. I cautioned my wife about that and told her there is going to be a family out there that hates your kid because he's going to take their kid's spot at some point.  Some kid who has been playing Pop Warner forever and whose parents see that future spot on the Varsity team as their kid's isn't going to be pleased when our kid, who never played football before, but who is twice the other kid's size shows up and makes that kid switch positions or sit on the bench.  Sure enough, he started the season as a backup and running special teams.  By the end of the year he played basically the whole game going both ways on the line.  I know who he supplanted and they were not happy and the backbiting and politicking in the stands has already begun.  Now it's off-season lifting for next year's HS teams and he's already gotten the attention of the varsity coach because he's always at the sessions and he's an ox.  The other kid isn't.  That kid isn't getting his spot back and it's just going to get worse from that family and potentially the rest of the Pop Warner clique that we aren't part of.  I don't know ANYBODY at football because I spent the last 9 years at hockey rinks, lacrosse fields and swimming pools.  From my perspective, it's nice.  I can just go to the games and watch my kid for a change.  The boosters had a meeting recently and my wife asked if I wanted to go and I told her absolutely not.  I don't want to meet the other parents.  Not at all.  At some point it will be inevitable, but that day can wait as long as possible.

 

I'm an AD for the school I work at (not the school my kids attend) and I can tell you so many stories about parent and player misconduct you'd never want to have your kids do anything.  I've got a story from 2 days ago and another two from January and another from December.  Just basketball.  Middle school basketball, and most of it is employees (not mine), not even the kids or their parents.  Though they have their share also.  I had to kick 4 people out of a track meet recently.  Let that sink in.

 

Youth sports is not a great place to be and I feel like it's getting worse over time.  There is a reckoning coming as referees retire and are not replaced by younger kids.  My oldest is 17, he has 9 years of playing experience and would be the perfect sort of candidate to become a ref now that he's not playing anymore.  Zero interest and I don't blame him.  I am qualified to officiate a couple sports myself.  Zero chance of that happening.  When my boys are both out of the house I MIGHT go back to coaching baseball because I enjoy that, but I stopped doing that a couple years ago when I became AD.  Coaching for the school was OK.  I got to pick my team and keep the parents at arms length mostly.  When I coached Little League it was horrible and that's sad because what I really WANT to do is get involved with the local Little League to coach the coaches of the youngest players and help them be better and to teach the players better.  That's the way I think I can be the most useful, by making the whole program better.  But I know if I do that a good percentage of the new dads coming in aren't going to listen to what I say because they all know better and every parent whose kid doesn't immediately become Shohei Ohtani will be angry with me and then I have to decide if that aggravation is worth my time.

Edited February 11 by That's No Moon