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So my girlfriend dumped me....


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The work of a professional dating coach is never done.

 

a) You hate her damn cats.

Call PETA and tell them she abuses animals.  They'll file the animal cruelty charges for you. 

 

b) women gibberish

That's code talk for, I'm not a man and don't have the balls to say what I really mean. 

 

Just move on.  She could have relit the "spark" with items from sextoys.com.  In 6 months when she has had a string of failed relationships, she'll feel like stevestojan for ending things.

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Whatever they pay ST, it's not enough. I could have used the Trooper when I was poking my way through college...and a few years after.

 

When's the book come out?

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SilverNRed, women are always looking for more. They will never be happy. You're probably better off because that B word doesn't deserve you. Which leads me to this joke I'm sure we've all heard...

 

Recently a Husband Super Store opened where women could go and choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

 

A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.

 

FIRST FLOOR

The door had a sign saying, These men have jobs and love kids..The women read the sign and said...well thats better than not having a job or not loving kids..but I wonder whats further up.

 

SECOND FLOOR

The sign read...These men have high paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking....Hmmmm, said the ladies ...but I wonder whats further up.

 

THIRD FLOOR

This sign read....These men have high paying jobs, love kids are extremely good looking and help with the housework... Wow said the women...Very tempting but there was another floor so up they went...

 

FOURTH FLOOR

This door had a sign saying ... These men have very high paying jobs love kids are extremely good looking help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak...Oh mercy me they cried Just think what must be awaiting us further on! so up to the fifth floor they went...

 

FIFTH FLOOR

The sign on the door said....This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please....

The exit is to your left....

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Um, if you were a simpleton you might look at it that way. If you weren't a simpleton, you'd realize that when you have that inevitable argument, the counselor can help give you the tools to work things through without yelling at each other (or walking out, or whatever your coping mechanism is).

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The solution to any stupid argument is to have some crippled kid put the two of you in a lock-in at the rec center and say "come on". Therapy is overpriced compared to this time-tested solution.

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I wish she was.  It'd be a lot easier to wrap my head around "Banging other guy" syndrome than the retarded "girl logic" I got hit with 24 hours ago.  I'd also have someone to punch in the face, which would be great right about now.  :doh:

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I have never had a girl bang another guy while I was with her as far as I know, but I doubt being dumped for that reason is better.

 

Whatever you do, do not talk to this succubus or say anything you will later regret. She will act all upset and turn the tables and make you look like the bad guy for being so cruel. It is a standard trick that women use in order to escape guilt for a breakup, which is their number one goal. She will do whatever she can to manipulate you into the bad guy.

 

Too many here have ignored this advice and repeated my mistake.

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Whatever you do, stay on message and stay on the plan.

 

What is the message and what is the plan?

 

The plan is to initiate no contact with her anymore. If she gets in touch with you, act happy and make it seem like you are enjoying life more without her. Never say that you miss her or anything like that.

 

Sleep with new and exciting girls.

 

Only allow getting back to her if you are sure you want this and if she is the one suggesting it, not you.

 

Rinse.

 

Repeat.

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After all, it was recommended by a guy who was parking cars in the ATL at 29... :doh:

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Not to hijack this thread again, but seriously, what's your hang up with my previous student job? Maybe you should open a separate thread for your ad hominem stuff.

 

 

To the guy who this thread is about, this whole thread exists so you can legitimize your anger towards her. I say move on and find a better one.

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To the guy who this thread is about, this whole thread exists so you can legitimize your anger towards her. I say move on and find a better one.

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People cannot vent a little bit when something like this happens? I would recommend he not obsess about this too much and do constructive things to move on, but saying that this half-serious thread just "legitimizes" his anger is rather patronizing.

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Simple plan:

 

1) Drink enough vodka so that you can hardly walk and not really speak.

 

2) WALK to her house.

 

3) Take a leak on her front porch while singing "Girls Girls Girls" at the top of your lungs. (This step should be done preferably at 1AM ).

 

4) When she comes to the front door, hurl said vodka on her shoes.

 

Works every time.

 

:doh:

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Not to hijack this thread again, but seriously, what's your hang up with my previous student job? Maybe you should open a separate thread for your ad hominem stuff.

To the guy who this thread is about, this whole thread exists so you can legitimize your anger towards her. I say move on and find a better one.

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Don't worry, I have exorcised AD from this thread. He will piddle with you no more. :doh:

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Simple plan:

 

1) Drink enough vodka so that you can hardly walk and not really speak.

 

2) WALK to her house.

 

3) Take a leak on her front porch while singing "Girls Girls Girls" at the top of your lungs. (This step should be done preferably at 1AM ).

 

4) When she comes to the front door, hurl said vodka on her shoes.

 

Works every time.

 

:doh:

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Reminds me of the old Steve Martin bit on his album "Wild and Crazy Guy" when, as the Czech dude, he says that in America people are too uptight about breaking up. "In my country, we simply say 'I break with thee! I break with thee! I break with thee!' and then we throw dog poopy on their shoes."
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