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So my girlfriend dumped me....


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I had one more idea.  Instead of nailing her friends, I could go a step farther and make sure she never trusts a man again for the rest of her life.  I mean, really screw with her head.  Stay with me on this one.....

 

I could kill one of her cats.

 

Think about it.  I'm Mr. Way-Too-Nice Guy for the entire relationship and then when things go south I go nuts and kill one of her cats.  She'd never be able to trust a man again no matter how nice he is to her because deep down inside she'd always be wondering if he's capable of killing her pets.  Plus if she has a thing for the "bad boys" this would probably qualify me and we'd be rolling around in the sheets again in no time.

 

The striped one can live, but that white one always pissed me off.

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Good plan.

 

Better plan: kill her instead. You're less likely to get caught. :blink:

 

 

<_<

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Good plan.

 

Better plan: kill her instead.  You're less likely to get caught.  :blink:

<_<

357493[/snapback]

I'm disappointed that no one posted a picture of OJ with the words "You know what to do" underneath. I mean, how did we make it to page 7 without any jokes about me killing her? This kinder, gentler crap has to stop.

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I'm disappointed that no one posted a picture of OJ with the words "You know what to do" underneath.  I mean, how did we make it to page 7 without any jokes about me killing her?  This kinder, gentler crap has to stop.

357501[/snapback]

 

Hell, it's not like you married the B word...

 

And if someone HAD done that, there'd probably be less outrage over that than there is over your suggestion to kill a cat... :blink:

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Boy, are YOU screwed when somebody else kills one of her cats.

357500[/snapback]

Yeah but think of the street cred I'd have with you and Darin. :blink:

 

I don't know what the big deal is. It's not like I'm desecrating a Koran or voting for the wrong person on American Idol.

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I had one more idea.  Instead of nailing her friends, I could go a step farther and make sure she never trusts a man again for the rest of her life.  I mean, really screw with her head.  Stay with me on this one.....

 

I could kill one of her cats.

 

Think about it.  I'm Mr. Way-Too-Nice Guy for the entire relationship and then when things go south I go nuts and kill one of her cats.  She'd never be able to trust a man again no matter how nice he is to her because deep down inside she'd always be wondering if he's capable of killing her pets.  Plus if she has a thing for the "bad boys" this would probably qualify me and we'd be rolling around in the sheets again in no time.

 

The striped one can live, but that white one always pissed me off.

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LMAO.............NO SnR, don't do this. This is psycho. Just try to bang one or more of her friends. That's simple enough. I'm telling you, the ultimate score is her sister if she has one, but, like I said, that's a tough one to pull off.

 

Bang a friend, or someone she hates, and you'll satisfy alot of needs for yourself.

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Need a translation please.

357420[/snapback]

 

sorry...

 

MFF = mandatory fat friend

MUF = mandatory ugly friend

or MUFF = mandatory ugly fat friend

 

every group of girls or "hotties" has at least 1 or more of these...her identity as part of this group of "hotties" is kept secret to single males looking for ladies...often times said guy must treat the MFF/MUF/MUFF nicely or else hes got no chance with any of the other girls in the group...

 

and when your friends girlfriend has a "friend" to set you up with, chances are its the MFF/MUF/MUFF...but man rules dictate that when having to go out with your buddy and his girl and the MFF/MUF/MUFF, you must treat her nicely so your buddy's girl thinks hes got great friends and therefore hes a great guy, and will then sleep with him...

 

EDIT: oops, while i was typing this, more responses were posted and apparently now i broke the law... :blink:

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LMAO.............NO SnR, don't do this.  This is psycho.  Just try to bang one or more of her friends.  That's simple enough.  I'm telling you, the ultimate score is her sister if she has one, but, like I said, that's a tough one to pull off.

 

Bang a friend, or someone she hates, and you'll satisfy alot of needs for yourself.

357513[/snapback]

Thanks, I'm glad some other people realize I wasn't actually considering killing the cat. Although.......
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MFF = mandatory fat friend

MUF = mandatory ugly friend

or MUFF = mandatory ugly fat friend

 

every group of girls or "hotties" has at least 1 or more of these...her identity as part of this group of "hotties" is kept secret to single males looking for ladies...often times said guy must treat the MFF/MUF/MUFF nicely or else hes got no chance with any of the other girls in the group...

 

and when your friends girlfriend has a "friend" to set you up with, chances are its the MFF/MUF/MUFF...but man rules dictate that when having to go out with your buddy and his girl and the MFF/MUF/MUFF, you must treat her nicely so your buddy's girl thinks hes got great friends and therefore hes a great guy, and will then sleep with him...

 

Damn....that's so complicated! Thanks Ramius. Sure glad I'm outa' my 20s.

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Thanks, I'm glad some other people realize I wasn't actually considering killing the cat.  Although.......

357516[/snapback]

 

Too late now Bubba, Darin's already fedexed the toolkit, and I'm sharpening the skinnin' knife.

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Too late now Bubba, Darin's already fedexed the toolkit, and I'm sharpening the skinnin' knife.

357521[/snapback]

Well, since you guys went through all that trouble I guess it's the least I could do.....

 

Hey, are cat's feet good luck? Like rabbit's feet....but different......only one way to find out......

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Well, since you guys went through all that trouble I guess it's the least I could do.....

 

Hey, are cat's feet good luck?  Like rabbit's feet....but different......only one way to find out......

357529[/snapback]

 

If you can get the claws to stay out, they make great back scratchers hooked to a hickory rod.

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