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So my girlfriend dumped me....


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Are you still there?  I thought they fired you for embezzlement.

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I just got a promotion.

 

New people stepped into administration. They cut a lot of dead wood, and appreciated my "tell it like it is" attitude.

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I just got a promotion.

 

New people stepped into administration. They cut a lot of dead wood, and appreciated my "tell it like it is" attitude.

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Damn you must be a corporate CEO. Steal money, get caught, get promoted and get more money. What a deal.

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Damn you must be a corporate CEO.  Steal money, get caught, get promoted and get more money.  What a deal.

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Nah, just Republican.

 

;)

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A lot of you guys crack me up.

 

I am about to get married. I'm 34. This will be my first. She's 30, at it will be her first. I am by no means an expert, but I do know this.

 

Many people camoflague their issues. I mean, who wants to date someone with "baggage." (HINT: Everyone has baggage. Even people who grew up in a loving two-parent household. If you disagree with this statement either a) you're in denial or b) you're in denial).

 

I suggest everyone in a relationship get counseling. It helps tremendously. Just make sure you find a counselor who's more like the Patriots and less like the Dolphins (i.e. find a good one, one you both like and respect).

 

Men and women are both self-centered. It's the nature of beast. If you want someone to cook and clean for you, hire a maid. If you want someone to be able to share your life with, get married fully expecting that it won't be easy and will take lots of work. Also, don't blame women for your (potentially) bad taste.

 

My .02.

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I suggest everyone in a relationship get counseling.

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Therapist: Frank, this is a safe place. A place where we can feel free sharing our feelings. Think of my office as a nest in a tree of trust and understanding. We can say anything here.

 

Frank: Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

 

***

 

Hmmm...on second thought, maybe that isn't such a hot idea....

 

;)

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Alright, I finally rolled out of bed a couple hours ago. It wasn't so much that I was too hungover to get up; it's just that I really didn't feel like getting up and doing work today. Anyways, turns out there's only so much time you can spend laying in bed listening to CDs and I was curious to see what the reaction was on TSW. The five pages is overwhelming so it's time for some responses.

 

Austin Texas hmmmmm?  Well, there's only two things that come from Austin boy, steers and coeds.  Jump back in the saddle and never look back.

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Problem is, it's the summer semester and lots of the co-eds are home until Fall. This happened at a really inconvenient time for me. I'll be lucky if I can find a nice librarian to roll around in the sheets with.

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I have heard a lot of stories and yours falls into a common category.

 

She's got someone else.

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This makes sense. I know who it probably is but she doesn't actually "got" him. She still has the hots for her ex-bf who ditched her over a year ago (for her best friend) and could care less about her. Apparently I'm not as big a douche bag as that guy so I don't suit her needs.

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This makes sense.  I know who it probably is but she doesn't actually "got" him.  She still has the hots for her ex-bf who ditched her over a year ago (for her best friend) and could care less about her.  Apparently I'm not as big a douche bag as that guy so I don't suit her needs.

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Welcome to women, buddy. Especially before they hit their 30s. Up until then, for some unexplainable reason, the majority of them desire to be treated like sh--.

 

Nothing to see here.

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Spark means you weren't good in bed.  You didn't excite her.  Not enough foreplay.  Dude use your tongue.

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I considered this. This B word was from the Bible belt so most everything we did was because I was persuasive. She wasn't a virgin but she also didn't know what the hell she was doing either. So I spent a lot of time breaking her in and obviously she was into it.

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This makes sense.  I know who it probably is but she doesn't actually "got" him.  She still has the hots for her ex-bf who ditched her over a year ago (for her best friend) and could care less about her.  Apparently I'm not as big a douche bag as that guy so I don't suit her needs.

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You could score big in the douche bag dept if you have any nude photos of her that you decided to share with your TSW buddies...

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Call them immediately.  Bang as many as possible.  If queried, just say "Well...there was a spark".  ;)

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That seems to be the consensus, so that'll be the plan. Her friends weren't as good looking as her but, then again, that's not what this is about is it?

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I considered this.  This B word was from the Bible belt so most everything we did was because I was persuasive.  She wasn't a virgin but she also didn't know what the hell she was doing either.  So I spent a lot of time breaking her in and obviously she was into it.

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Was she from North Carolina?

 

I have it on good authority that women from NC really like to receive it orally, and if you don't you won't make them happy.

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