BillsBlue Posted January 23 Posted January 23 (edited) Howdy everyone I just wanted to hear your thoughts about something that took place today in my journey of fatherhood. I'm a father of five boys and my oldest is 13 and asked me if he still had to be a Bills fan. Let me rephrase that he asked his grandma my mom to ask me if it's okay if he stops being a Bills fan.... I've never felt guilty for encouraging my boys to be Bills fans as I'm a son of Buffalo I was born there and my whole family on my father's side lives there. When my mother asked him why he said because it's become too upsetting and it's not fun anymore. He said he asked her to ask me because he knew it would break my heart. This isn't a Pity post to be honest and I'm not the type that's going to be like I'm never going to watch this team again or I give up and all that crap that a lot of posters say.... it was a tough season and sometimes when you're extremely close things seem so far away... What I'm really looking for is good advice for when I sit down and talk with my boys about this season Etc and being a Bills fan in general I'm sure some of you that are older and wiser than I have had to talk with your sons and daughters.... I truly see this team as very close.... some more addition by subtraction is needed thank God Bean has drafted some really good talent the past few years to soften the blow of our aging vets as they fade and move on... just a few key pieces I know we say this every year but a few pieces and I think we're there maybe a new coach too maybe not I know that's going to rile some people up but sometimes I'm just unsure about McDermott.... One before I die just one before I die please Edited January 23 by BillsBlue 5 Quote
Warcodered Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Best guess from me would be to just give it some time, all the hurt is fresh, best not to make any set decision immediately following a loss. I know I'm going to be tuning out football as much as I can until it gets to the things that matter for the Bills again. 3 2 1 Quote
TheWei44 Posted January 23 Posted January 23 (edited) I have a 13 yr old son too, and we live in Cincinnati but he's a Bills "superfan" - Wears a Bills sweatshirt to school every day in the winter. I have a signed OJ + others football (long story!), a local friend here who went to St Joes and then played hockey at Miami (OH!) generously pulled some strings to get my son a signed Damar jersey - Great stuff! But I can relate to what you're describing above with your son and family. I have felt guilty myself for my role in passing down the Bills tradition! My son was very, very upset last night, and it was hard to witness as a dad. But some of the bonding moments we've shared have been great too. My son hasn't wanted to change his fanhood, but if he did, I'd be 100% accepting of it. It's a personal choice and not a life or death choice or one that needs parental involvement. So I'd like to think I'd let him part ways with the Bills and let him root for whichever team he wants to root for (kids don't have a lot of opportunities to make their own choices, so this might be a good opportunity to do so). Just my 2 cents. Good luck and Go Bills! Edited January 23 by TheWei44 3 1 2 Quote
Goin Breakdown Posted January 23 Posted January 23 (edited) I'm the big scope of things it's football and really doesn't matter. My son likes teams I don't but he does like the Bills, mainly because that what he grew up seeing me watch. If he grows up and chooses another team, ok. I told him when he was younger that no matter what team he cheers for, he is going to experience ups and downs. Much like any relationship I guess lol. side note. When he turned 13 I took him to his first game for his birthday. They lost bad to the jets. He wrote them a letter and told them how they ruined his birthday. Haha. Therapy Edited January 23 by Goin Breakdown 2 Quote
MJS Posted January 23 Posted January 23 The correct response is, "Root for whatever team you want." 5 1 7 Quote
Tenhigh Posted January 23 Posted January 23 I told my 13yo when I got this question after the 13 seconds game that he absolutely didn't have to be a Bills fan. I also reminded him that at the end of the day it's still just a game. Now he's more into it than ever. 1 2 Quote
Aussie Joe Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Can’t offer any particular advice sorry ,,, as I don’t have kids… But I would have thought kids would love to follow this team … particularly with Josh there … I think we both know that whilst it’s disappointing that they can’t get over the hunp… there are a lot of teams across various sporting leagues that have it much worse than these Bills these past 5 years or so… My other sporting passion is my Rugby team here in Sydney … the Wests Tigers .. they are a basket case who haven’t made the playoffs in over a decade when half the teams qualify each year… and the past 2 years they have ran last with a 4-20 record each year …tell him about my pain and how things could be much worse .. 1 Quote
WotAGuy Posted January 23 Posted January 23 “Son, you’ll save me thousands of dollars in therapy if you pick another team. Go for it.” 1 7 Quote
Dick_Cheney Posted January 23 Posted January 23 (edited) I wonder how many of us actually "made" the decision to become a Bills fan. I can't really imagine having the same kind of affection and connection for a team if I hadn't been born into being a fan and hadn't grown up surrounded by friends and family who were fans as well. At the end of the day yeah it's just a game, but the human and cultural connection that I personally have with it is much more important than simply making an arbitrary decision to root for some other, likely successful team. And it sounds kind of lame, but with Buffalo sports and all the insane scenarios they've dealt with over the years, I feel like there have been a lot of teachable moments for younger people, and a lot of wisdom to take away from how adversity is dealt with. I mean, just this year, we had Coach McDermott teach us all about the power of a group of underdogs working together against seemingly insurmountable odds to make their lifelong hopes and dreams come true. Edited January 23 by Dick_Cheney 5 1 Quote
julian Posted January 23 Posted January 23 (edited) 28 minutes ago, MJS said: The correct response is, "Root for whatever team you want." I certainly wouldn’t argue against that response, but I’ll just say that the time I spend with my 2 grown sons jumping up and down, hugging and high fiving during games is special and it started by my dad and myself taking them to games as 12 year olds. They were more interested in the experience and hanging out with dad and grandpa when they were in their teens but now in their early 20s they’re into as much or more than myself. Im glad they decided to be Bills fans, it’s created special moments, had they decided not to be, then I would have found other ways to create those moments… no big deal. Edited January 23 by julian 2 Quote
Jon in Pasadena Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Tell him no problem, and that his brothers will appreciate the bump in their inheritance from 20% to 25% each. 🙂 1 4 1 Quote
Einstein Posted January 23 Posted January 23 27 minutes ago, BillsBlue said: Howdy everyone I just wanted to hear your thoughts about something that took place today in my journey of fatherhood. I'm a father of five boys and my oldest is 13 and asked me if he still had to be a Bills fan. Let me rephrase that he asked his grandma my mom to ask me if it's okay if he stops being a Bills fan.... I've never felt guilty for encouraging my boys to be Bills fans as I'm a son of Buffalo I was born there and my whole family on my father's side lives there. When my mother asked him why he said because it's become too upsetting and it's not fun anymore. He said he asked her to ask me because he knew it would break my heart. This isn't a Pity post to be honest and I'm not the type that's going to be like I'm never going to watch this team again or I give up and all that crap that a lot of posters say.... it was a tough season and sometimes when you're extremely close things seem so far away... What I'm really looking for is good advice for when I sit down and talk with my boys about this season Etc and being a Bills fan in general I'm sure some of you that are older and wiser than I have had to talk with your sons and daughters.... I truly see this team as very close.... some more addition by subtraction is needed thank God Bean has drafted some really good talent the past few years to soften the blow of our aging vets as they fade and move on... just a few key pieces I know we say this every year but a few pieces and I think we're there maybe a new coach too maybe not I know that's going to rile some people up but sometimes I'm just unsure about McDermott.... One before I die just one before I die please For those who want a summary of what he is asking; I'd like to hear your thoughts on a fatherhood moment. I have five boys, and my oldest, who's 13, asked if he can stop being a Bills fan. I encouraged them to be Bills fans since I'm from Buffalo, but he finds it upsetting now. He told his grandma to ask me because he knew it would hurt me. I'm not giving up on the team, but I need advice on talking to my boys about the season and being Bills fans. I believe in the team, and some changes are needed, like drafting new talent and maybe a new coach. One championship before I die, please. My answer: I disagree with all the posters telling you to encourage him to root for whoever he wants. That’s lame sauce. Sometimes crap doesn’t work out. Sometimes in life we lose. But we don’t give up and we don’t stop being a fan just because things didn’t work out the way we wanted. We stick through it and keep our commitments to our team. Then give him a hearty GO BILLS. 1 1 2 1 Quote
Success Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Most teams lose a lot. The Bills have had more historical heartbreak, but I don't believe in curses. To me, that just says that our best days are ahead, given the odds. 1 1 Quote
BRH Posted January 23 Posted January 23 I think this question probably comes up more if you don't live in WNY. Happened to me and my dad. He has St. Louis roots so the Cardinals were his teams in baseball and football (although he adopted the Bills as his AFL/AFC team, and then went full Bills after the football team moved to Arizona. Ironically, my parents live in Phoenix now but are still huge Bills fans). I started out as a Cardinals fan in baseball but shifted to the Mets in the early '80s, since I could watch them on TV every night. If you didn't grow up and don't live in WNY, the pull of the local team can be too strong to ignore... especially if they're good. That's understandable. But if the kid wants to root for the Chiefs or some other such bull#### and you don't live in the midwest, this would be a good time to teach him about fair-weather fans and front-runners. Quote
BillsBlue Posted January 23 Author Posted January 23 5 minutes ago, Einstein said: For those who want a summary of what he is asking; I'd like to hear your thoughts on a fatherhood moment. I have five boys, and my oldest, who's 13, asked if he can stop being a Bills fan. I encouraged them to be Bills fans since I'm from Buffalo, but he finds it upsetting now. He told his grandma to ask me because he knew it would hurt me. I'm not giving up on the team, but I need advice on talking to my boys about the season and being Bills fans. I believe in the team, and some changes are needed, like drafting new talent and maybe a new coach. One championship before I die, please. My answer: I disagree with all the posters telling you to encourage him to root for whoever he wants. That’s lame sauce. Sometimes crap doesn’t work out. Sometimes in life we lose. But we don’t give up and we don’t stop being a fan just because things didn’t work out the way we wanted. We stick through it and keep our commitments to our team. Then give him a hearty GO BILLS. Thank you so much for the most thoughtful post I've ever gotten on here on Two Bills Drive you're awesome 1 Quote
WhoTom Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Sports should be entertainment, not stress. I admit, I stress out during games too, but I don't yell at the TV or indicate that I'm angry. I make sure my stress is my own and doesn't spread to my wife and son. That's how my Dad watched sports, so I learned it from him. I figure that the team is no reflection on me - I can't take credit for the wins so I shouldn't feel shame about the losses. Yeah, I'm bummed when they lose, especially in the playoffs, but I can't let that ruin my life. I guess my point is that the Bills are winning much more often than losing these days, so maybe just teach your son to savor the wins and shrug off the losses. He might find being a Bills fan much less stressful. 1 Quote
jkeerie Posted January 23 Posted January 23 38 minutes ago, BillsBlue said: Howdy everyone I just wanted to hear your thoughts about something that took place today in my journey of fatherhood. I'm a father of five boys and my oldest is 13 and asked me if he still had to be a Bills fan. Let me rephrase that he asked his grandma my mom to ask me if it's okay if he stops being a Bills fan.... I've never felt guilty for encouraging my boys to be Bills fans as I'm a son of Buffalo I was born there and my whole family on my father's side lives there. When my mother asked him why he said because it's become too upsetting and it's not fun anymore. He said he asked her to ask me because he knew it would break my heart. This isn't a Pity post to be honest and I'm not the type that's going to be like I'm never going to watch this team again or I give up and all that crap that a lot of posters say.... it was a tough season and sometimes when you're extremely close things seem so far away... What I'm really looking for is good advice for when I sit down and talk with my boys about this season Etc and being a Bills fan in general I'm sure some of you that are older and wiser than I have had to talk with your sons and daughters.... I truly see this team as very close.... some more addition by subtraction is needed thank God Bean has drafted some really good talent the past few years to soften the blow of our aging vets as they fade and move on... just a few key pieces I know we say this every year but a few pieces and I think we're there maybe a new coach too maybe not I know that's going to rile some people up but sometimes I'm just unsure about McDermott.... One before I die just one before I die please I am 70 years old and one thing I learned rather early on was to become a fan of the sport. Having a favorite team is great...and I will always root for and love the Bills. However, favorite teams will often disappoint you. There is parity, there are injuries, and there is just plain bad luck. So I have become a fan of football...both the Pros and college, in which I also have 4 teams I follow being an alum of 3 and having served in the AF. By enjoying the sport, it tempers that disappointment which is all too frequent and allows you to enjoy good game play. Following college football gives you a degree of knowledge heading into the draft. You also become less knee jerk reactionary when seasons end and can go year to year with a healthier perspective. 1 1 Quote
716to540 Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Without having read the post: "Yup! Been there! Just ask for the DNA results" 1 Quote
Old Coot Posted January 23 Posted January 23 42 minutes ago, Aussie Joe said: the Wests Tigers Is that the Balmain Tigers? Quote
Aussie Joe Posted January 23 Posted January 23 9 minutes ago, Old Coot said: Is that the Balmain Tigers? Kind of … The Balmain Tigers merged with Wests in the year 2000… Quote
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