The Frankish Reich Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 This has nothing to do with the Bills losing, and even less to do with the fact that my ex-wife is English. I swear. These are objective facts. 1. They are stupidly proud of their Greenwich Mean Time that wreaks havoc with travelers and American football teams. This made sense in 1880 when London was the figurative Center of the World. It is not 1880. Now YOU adapt. Go to Eastern Standard Time already. 2. They are stupidly proud of their Foreign Oligarch and Hedge Fund Manager League erroneously know as the English Premier League, so much so that they protect their precious English turf grass by making other events play on a substandard carpet that wouldn't be out of place in the indoor portion of a Walmart Garden Center. 3. They have a really nice launching spot for seeing the "the Continent" (they still talk of "going to Europe" as if they are a Caribbean island) but saw fit to ruin that by Brexiting and making all of that really inconvenient. 4. They are stupidly proud of their music scene, which no one cares about other than English people living abroad (which they do in millions, creating little Englands in every spot where the sun shines more than 60 days a year), and they continue to worship horrible acts like Cliff Richard and Oasis and the Kaiser Chiefs and all kinds of peculiarly English crap. They are also stupidly proud of their "English sense of humo(u)r" by which they mean "I will insult you in the most obvious manner possible whenever you say something remotely earnest so that all may bow to my rapier sharp wit." 5. The more recent arrivals in London and a few other cities will feed you well with tasty, complexly spiced dishes. But 90% of the territory will ooh and aah over heavy, greasy, tasteless dishes (so awful that even they have invented a word - "stodgy" - to describe their own cuisine) that you are expected to compliment your in-laws about as if they've just fed you a 4 star Michelin tasting menu. And heaven forbid you encounter these people around Christmas, where you will watch them howl with laughter at things like a Christmas Pantomime, a kind of childish joke play that appears to consist of putting the least feminine man possible in a dress, making a high pitched voice drowned out by howls of laughter. Oh, and then you can all gather round to watch the Queen's King's Christmas address, the same King who, in perhaps the least arousing sexting scandal ever, expressed his desire to be his horse-faced mistress's tampon. Really. Goodbye, old England. I hope Bills Nation never visits you again. 2 3 1 1 12 1 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dablitzkrieg Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 I ain't reading all that lamp 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bferra13 Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Yikes lol. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bangarang Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 This isn’t an airport. You don’t have to announce your departure 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie Joe Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Australia beats them at cricket 👍 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToGoGo Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Deep down they haven’t moved on from the Victorian age. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBFL Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 (edited) Whoa! Grab their tea and throw it in the drink before you leave, that’ll show them! -ps Can we see you the post you had line up if we had won? Thanks. Edited October 8, 2023 by BBFL 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freak-O Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 1. At least the entire country has the same time. 2. NFL owners, NBA owners etc. 3. Shutting out the rest of the world is something Americans excel at, much more than the Brits. 4. Music is subjective. They have a lot of great artists. Not much Country music though. 5. McDonalds, Pizza Hut etc. The US isn’t really known for their food either. 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Why would they be on Eastern Standard time when they are further away than California that is 3 hours behind? At minimum they should be 3 hours ahead of NYC. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Since1981 Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 9 minutes ago, The Frankish Reich said: It is not 1880. Now YOU adapt. Go to Eastern Standard Time alread Put the pint down. What are you smoking ? Brits do need one thing badly. Dentists 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandhill Mike Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 10 minutes ago, The Frankish Reich said: Goodbye, old England. I hope Bills Nation never visits you again. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Frankish Reich Posted October 8, 2023 Author Share Posted October 8, 2023 Just now, Since1981 said: Put the pint down. What are you smoking ? Brits do need one thing badly. Dentists I spent a little time in France a long time ago. You know what their term is for bucked teeth? Les dents Anglais. English Teeth. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aristocrat Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 We started a war with them over less than this 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBFL Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Since1981 said: Put the pint down. What are you smoking ? Brits do need one thing badly. Dentists Who needs a dentist?!? Football aside, we Brits are like Bills fans after this game and the events that unfolded… Nothing to smile about. Edited October 8, 2023 by BBFL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Frankish Reich Posted October 8, 2023 Author Share Posted October 8, 2023 15 minutes ago, BBFL said: Who needs a dentist?!? Football aside, we Brits are like Bills fans after this game and the events that unfolded… Nothing to smile about. Ok, ok, I’ll admit it. I actually love your country. I just gotta blame something/someone for what happened today … Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zow2 Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 Lol. You had that written up just in case of a Loss, all ready to click Submit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Turk Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 23 minutes ago, Since1981 said: Put the pint down. What are you smoking ? Brits do need one thing badly. Dentists At least Austin Powers got that part right haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjd1001 Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 33 minutes ago, The Frankish Reich said: This has nothing to do with the Bills losing, and even less to do with the fact that my ex-wife is English. I swear. These are objective facts. 1. They are stupidly proud of their Greenwich Mean Time that wreaks havoc with travelers and American football teams. This made sense in 1880 when London was the figurative Center of the World. It is not 1880. Now YOU adapt. Go to Eastern Standard Time already. 2. They are stupidly proud of their Foreign Oligarch and Hedge Fund Manager League erroneously know as the English Premier League, so much so that they protect their precious English turf grass by making other events play on a substandard carpet that wouldn't be out of place in the indoor portion of a Walmart Garden Center. 3. They have a really nice launching spot for seeing the "the Continent" (they still talk of "going to Europe" as if they are a Caribbean island) but saw fit to ruin that by Brexiting and making all of that really inconvenient. 4. They are stupidly proud of their music scene, which no one cares about other than English people living abroad (which they do in millions, creating little Englands in every spot where the sun shines more than 60 days a year), and they continue to worship horrible acts like Cliff Richard and Oasis and the Kaiser Chiefs and all kinds of peculiarly English crap. They are also stupidly proud of their "English sense of humo(u)r" by which they mean "I will insult you in the most obvious manner possible whenever you say something remotely earnest so that all may bow to my rapier sharp wit." 5. The more recent arrivals in London and a few other cities will feed you well with tasty, complexly spiced dishes. But 90% of the territory will ooh and aah over heavy, greasy, tasteless dishes (so awful that even they have invented a word - "stodgy" - to describe their own cuisine) that you are expected to compliment your in-laws about as if they've just fed you a 4 star Michelin tasting menu. And heaven forbid you encounter these people around Christmas, where you will watch them howl with laughter at things like a Christmas Pantomime, a kind of childish joke play that appears to consist of putting the least feminine man possible in a dress, making a high pitched voice drowned out by howls of laughter. Oh, and then you can all gather round to watch the Queen's King's Christmas address, the same King who, in perhaps the least arousing sexting scandal ever, expressed his desire to be his horse-faced mistress's tampon. Really. Goodbye, old England. I hope Bills Nation never visits you again. I visit there once. It wasn't for me so I agree with a lot of what you said. Some people love it, to each their own I guess, I just don't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevestojan Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 I asked ChatGPT to summarize to less than 40 words: The author critiques England, citing outdated practices like Greenwich Mean Time, turf quality in the Premier League, the Brexit decision, their music scene, and traditional cuisine. The author wishes the Bills never return to England. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiotAct Posted October 8, 2023 Share Posted October 8, 2023 26 minutes ago, Freak-O said: 3. Shutting out the rest of the world is something Americans excel at, much more than the Brits. lol!!! Yes America is an extremely insular country. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.