Sleep Divorce?

[teef]

12 hours ago, aristocrat said:

Do those tempur pedic beds that incline actually stop you from snoring? 
 

we thought we had an ok mattress but the old lady slept like *****. Then we had a custom mattress made and we’ve never slept better. I sleep straight through the night which is something I had never done in my life. Ours was only 2200 bucks or so. Good sleep is worth unlimited money 

i think this is where i'm at.  i need a new beg, and specifically a new pillow.  i'm up every few hours during the night, and my pillow alone is causing issues.  

 

for anyone who does get the tempur pedic bed that inclines, get the one where the sides of the bed incline/decline independent of each other.  we have one where the entire back moves, but when i want it up, my wife is already sleeping, etc.  i have to imagine it helps with snoring, but we never use it.

[Augie]

4 hours ago, aristocrat said:

And people buy them. Years ago when we sold out last house we actually sold all our mattresses. Granted it was like 50 bucks each but I was so grossed out. They were decent mattresses but 4-5 years old and the people that got them were pretty normal. 

 

The mattress industry is a seedy world. My wife was looking for a brand new mattress for our bedroom and the delivery guys show up at the door. The first thing he says is “before we carry this is, I should tell you there is a stain on it.” WHAT!?!? Why did you even bring it? But they get paid to deliver, not sell mattresses and there was no way on earth I was accepting that! 

 

Ended up with one of the adjustable mattresses that can vibrate. The wife loves it, I’m OK with it. We have yet to determine if raising the head stops snoring, because I DO NOT snore!  😋

 

 

(Much or often.) 

 

The people who bought our last house kept the mattress in the built-in Murphy bed because they needed something to sleep on until their furniture arrived. They are normal people, and that thing was only used a handful of times. 

[boater]

Sounds like you both need CPAP.

Address the snoring, no need for sleep divorce. Unless someone has the jimmy-leg... that's a whole other story.

 

[Gugny]

9 hours ago, boater said:

Sounds like you both need CPAP.

Address the snoring, no need for sleep divorce. Unless someone has the jimmy-leg... that's a whole other story.

 

I wear a CPAP and it definitely makes a difference. 
 

I have a married friend who sleeps in a different room than her husband. It originally started because she snored so loudly. 
 

After getting the CPAP, they decided they still wanted to continue sleeping in separate quarters. 
 

But her husband is a douchebag and 20+ years older than she is. 
 

[The Jokeman]

On 7/18/2023 at 4:31 PM, Johnny Hammersticks said:

My wife and I have a wonderful marriage and two great kids.  There have been minor bumps in the road, of course, but overall we have been very happily married for over 13 years.

 

Over the years we have had problems sharing a bed.  I snore and my wife also snores like a lumberjack, but she’s a light sleeper and I could sleep through a dump truck crashing into our living room.  After years of her pounding on the mattress to wake me up, or one of us sleeping in the guest bedroom, we decided finally that we would just sleep in different rooms.  It has worked out very well, although I do miss having her next to me at night and waking up next to her in the morning.
 

Then I was watching the news the other day and it turns out that this “sleep divorce” thing is a trend.  Like I said, it is working well for us, but I could see how it could lead to relationship problems for some.

 

Has anyone else taken this step in their relationship?  Thoughts?

Sounds like my sleeping situation, the wife sometimes kicks me to the sofa as sometimes I get night time shakes which consistently wakes her up yet doesn't effect me at all. 

[transplantbillsfan]

Interesting thread. Think I saw the news piece. They even claimed it was "mostly Millenials." I was born in 81 and my wife was born in 82, so by some definitions we're Millenials even though neither of us have the characteristics.

 

We've been married 13 years but together for 18 years. We lived and slept in the same bed all 5 years before we got married. I snore and my wife is a light sleeper. My snoring got worse over the years. I tried Breathe Right strips, anti-snoring mouth guards, throat and tongue exercises, and taping my mouth. They work sporadically and then at some point my wife ends up hitting me because I'm snoring again and I either go to sleep and get hit again and eventually end up on the couch or I lie awake because I don't want to snore.

 

Eventually I got Covid in May of 2022 and my wife slept in our spare room for a week. Then October 2022 I go visit my family in NY and come back and our cat (her baby) was diagnosed with Cancer and since Covid when I go on my annual trip we sleep in separate rooms anyway for a week.

 

Well, that stuck. She wanted the time with our cat (she passed in March) and a month or so later we rescued 4 kittens that were a couple days old that she stayed in the room with to bottle feed.

 

I will say this. I don't think I've ever slept better in our marriage. My wife maybe not so much because of all the cat and kitten issues, but I think this is pretty permanent. 

 

Don't know fully how I feel about it yet. There's a (what I generally feel is ridiculous) traditionalist in me that feels the need to adhere to societal norms. One would think I would have gotten over that with our choice not to have kids, but I pushed back with my wife fairly hard on sleeping in separate beds. Now I feel pretty good about it. However, I do think it means you need to make more of an effort as far as your marriage goes.

 

In the end, every marriage is different. Even though I freely admit I don't always take my own advice, do what makes you and your wife happy and don't allow society to dictate that.