Does A Bear S**t In The Woods?

[ICanSleepWhenI'mDead]

Now that I have your attention, what are your favorite rhetorical responses to questions that have an obvious yes or no answer?  Here are a few for starters:

 

For "yes:"

 

1.  Does a bear s**t in the woods?

2.  Is the Pope Catholic?

3.  Does a one legged duck swim in a circle? [my favorite, even though the real answer to that question is probably no]

 

For "no:"

 

1.  Does a chicken have lips?

 

Personally, I sometimes take the Yogi Berra approach and mix and match just to see people's reactions, for example:

 

Does the Pope s**t in the woods? or Are bears Catholic?

 

Expand my repetoire - - whaddaya got?

[US Egg]

Hey, it is what it is.

[T&C]

For "maybe".... the op just burned one.

[ExiledInIllinois]

For YES:

 

"Is water wet?"

 

For NO:

 

"Is water wet?"

 

 

 

Have at it ladies and gentlemen!

😆

Edited February 26, 2023 by ExiledInIllinois

[SinceThe70s]

Skiing late spring at Stratton Mountain many years ago and my friend stops at trails edge to relieve himself (what's spring skiing without an extended liquid lunch?) and he calls out "Does a bear sh!t in the woods?" - and then answers: "Nope, they do it right on the trail!"

Edited February 27, 2023 by SinceThe70s

[WhoTom]

34 minutes ago, ExiledInIllinois said:

For YES:

 

"Is water wet?"

 

For NO:

 

"Is water wet?"

 

 

 

Have at it ladies and gentlemen!

😆

 

Or ...

 

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

 

[dhg]

Is it ok to yell movie in a crowded firehouse? 

[SinceThe70s]

3 minutes ago, dhg said:

Is it ok to yell movie in a crowded firehouse? 

 

Steve Martin?

[Augie]

33 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said:

 

Steve Martin?

 

Yes? 

 

Oh, I’m sorry! A bartender at a place I have lunch maybe three times a month once told me I look like Steve Martin. That made me feel old, but I’m sure Steve Martin would say “at least I’m not ugly!”  😂 

 

 

.

Edited February 27, 2023 by Augie

[SinceThe70s]

24 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

Yes? 

 

Oh, I’m sorry! A bartender at a place I have lunch maybe three times a month once told me I look like Steve Martin. That made me feel old, but I’m sure Steve Martin would say “at least I’m not ugly!”  😂 

 

 

.

 

..and the mental picture of @Augie starts to take a more realist shape! 

[Augie]

35 minutes ago, SinceThe70s said:

 

..and the mental picture of @Augie starts to take a more realist shape! 

 

I am George Clooney, only handsome. 

 

I mean, maybe if one removes their corrective lenses? 

[SinceThe70s]

1 hour ago, Augie said:

 

I am George Clooney, only handsome. 

 

I mean, maybe if one removes their corrective lenses? 

 

You were (and still are to me) Connie Augustin - a great guy I worked with early career - always respected his opinion. His claim to fame was fishing after hours Friday and leaving the blackfish he caught in the department fridge for us all to enjoy when we came in on Monday. Epic albeit not @Augieish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Gugny]

12 hours ago, WhoTom said:

 

Or ...

 

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

 

I’ve actually spent time thinking about this one and I’ve landed on: “a hot dog is a taco.”

[4merper4mer]

Updated version:

 

Does a cocaine bear $&*( in the woods?

[PromoTheRobot]

A favorite of mine an old friend used to say to describe indecision: "He didn't know whether to s##t or go bowling."

[Fleezoid]

I'm no rocket surgeon, but I think the OP nailed 'em all. I got nothin'. 

[UConn James]

8 hours ago, PromoTheRobot said:

A favorite of mine an old friend used to say to describe indecision: "He didn't know whether to s##t or go bowling."

I’ve always heard that as “didn’t know whether to 💩 or turn purple.”

[ExiledInIllinois]

Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?

[dancing_joker]

“Does Howdy Doody have wooden balls?”

[Ned Flanders]

"Does the Pope wear a funny hat?"

 

"Does a frog have a watertight a*%hole?"

Edited March 3, 2023 by Ned Flanders