One more thing to worry about over the holidays

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

https://nypost.com/2022/12/20/dont-*****-with-christmas-ornaments-doctor-warns/

[WhoTom]

Santa populates his "naughty" list by checking the ER reports.

 

[Johnny Hammersticks]

A hockey dad friend of mine is an ER nurse at the local hospital.  He has great stories about the different objects they extract from the orifices of men and women.  

 

Recently, he was talking about a sweet potato that was carved in the shape of a penis.  It broke off in some woman’s “hoo-hoo” during sex with her partner.  I guess it had been up there for a while before the woman finally decided to go to the hospital.

 

There was another patient a few weeks ago, from the psychiatric wing, for which they extracted over ten batteries from his rectum. 😬

[WhoTom]

1 hour ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

Recently, he was talking about a sweet potato that was carved in the shape of a penis.  It broke off in some woman’s “hoo-hoo” during sex with her partner.

 

When her partner asked if she was enjoying herself, she responded, "I yam."

 

[North Buffalo]

You have no idea... I do CT scans in an ER... lol including the idiot that swallowed his shell casings after shooting a guy... had to xray him for plus a week til he was ready to poop them out.

[Nextmanup]

3 hours ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

A hockey dad friend of mine is an ER nurse at the local hospital.  He has great stories about the different objects they extract from the orifices of men and women.  

 

Recently, he was talking about a sweet potato that was carved in the shape of a penis.  It broke off in some woman’s “hoo-hoo” during sex with her partner.  I guess it had been up there for a while before the woman finally decided to go to the hospital.

 

There was another patient a few weeks ago, from the psychiatric wing, for which they extracted over ten batteries from his rectum. 😬

This is interesting info.

 

I always considered these types of stories involving hospital extractions to be urban legends and total fiction.

 

Maybe not?!
 

I'm really glad I don't have to go fishing for batteries up someone's backside.

 

 

[Nextmanup]

I have a good friend who is now an ophthalmologist.  

 

During his medical schooling, he ended up doing some residency work in the ER at ECMC.

 

He has tons of stories.

 

One of my favorites: a man had an 8" chef's knife buried in his chest cavity.  As my buddy went in to see what was going on (the knife was still sticking out of him, having smartly been left in place by the ambulance crew so the guy wouldn't bleed to death) he noticed a woman who appeared to be the guy's wife in the room.

 

The guy (with the knife stuck in his chest) said to the woman: "Honey, you knows I loves ya, but ya gots to stop stabbing me."

 

That is word for word what the guy said, according to my buddy...who proceeded to remove said chef's knife and sew the guy up after nosing around the wound a bit.  It didn't hit anything important! 

 

 

[TBBills]