THE ROCKPILE REVIEW - First Draft, Second Draft

[Shaw66]

Yeah, yeah.  I said I wouldn't write these every week, and here I go, for the second week in a row.  I actually wrote two this week.

 

FIRST DRAFT

 

“You Call that Football?”

 

How long are we going to have to put up with this sorry excuse for football?

 

I mean, year after year, it’s the same old story.  Turnovers, miscues, bad clock management.  When will the Bills get a coach who will eliminate the mistakes, and players who do more than ask the crowd to make noise?

 

Look at their game against the Steelers.  Where should I start?  Well, let’s start at the start: Taiwan Jones butchering the opening kickoff.  Caught it, dropped it, picked it up, dropped, picked it up again and got tackled at the two.  The two!  Three plays later, the Bills’ offense was back to the bench and the defense was on the field. 

 

All game long, the Bills struggled to put together those long, clock-eating drives that all the best teams use to control the game.  It was embarrassing:  Three possessions that lasted just three plays, four possessions of just two plays, and one possession for one play.  Eight possessions of three or fewer players!  Really?  And when they finally put together nice-looking long drives, nine- and ten-play drives into the red zone, they gave the ball away, once on an Allen interception and once on a goal-line fumble. 

 

If you think I’m exaggerating, look at the stats:  The Steelers had 23 first downs compared to the Bills’ 21.  The Steelers dominated time of possession 36 minutes to 24.  The Bills are going to wear out their defense, asking them to be on the field all the time. 

 

The Bills have to learn to be opportunistic.  They can’t let great opportunities turn into missed opportunities.  The Bills had only two takeaways and squandered both.  The first was a fumble recovery at the Steelers’ 21.  They managed to get into the red zone for one play, then bumbled their way out again and missed the field goal.  The second was an interception when the game was already out of reach, and after the pick they managed -6 yards before giving up the ball.  Pitiful.

 

It seemed every player bungled something.  Dion Dawkins had his customary procedure penalty, Von Miller jumped so far off-side he practically needed a timeout to return to the defensive huddle.  Kahlil Shakir had a long run called most of the way back because – get this: he stepped out of bounds.  And he let a punt get past him and roll inside the five.  Gabriel Davis had only three catches on six targets.  Tremaine Edmunds was invisible, literally; I didn’t see him make one play all day.  James Cook had four measly touches, and Zach Moss had one. 

 

By halftime, the crowd had given up and stopped making noise.  They did come alive for an occasional play in the second half, but most of the time they just stood around laughing, like they thought they were at a party or something.  They weren’t taking the Steelers seriously at all. 

 

Some people will say I’m just too critical, but everything I’ve said is absolutely true.

 

At least the lady who sang the national anthem was great.

 

SECOND DRAFT

 

“Now, That’s What I Call Football!”

 

Have you ever seen such amazing football?

 

The same old story seems like such ancient history.  Turnovers, miscues, bad clock management, nothing matters.  When you’re good, you can overcome your mistakes and still dominate.. 

 

Look at the Bills’ game against the Steelers.  Where should I start?  Well, let’s start at the start: Taiwan Jones butchering the opening kickoff.  Caught it, dropped it, picked it up, dropped, picked it up again and got tackled at the two.  The two!  Three plays later, Josh Allen drops an absolute dime on Gabriel Davis for a 98-yard TD.  And that wasn’t even Davis’s best play of the game. 

 

All game long, the Bills struggled to put together those long, clock-eating drives that all the best teams use to control the game.  Why?  Because, get this: The Bills had a three-play touchdown drive, TWO two-play touchdown drives, and one ONE-play touchdown drive.  Add in two kneel-down possessions (to end the half and the game) and two three-and-outs in the second half, and the Bills had eight possessions of three or fewer players!  The Bills had only three long drives – one for a touchdown and two that ended with turnovers.

 

The game was so lopsided that some of the statistics were upside down:  The Steelers had 23 first downs compared to the Bills’ 21.  The Steelers dominated time of possession 36 minutes to 24.  The Steelers ran 72 plays compared to 54 by the Bills.  The Bills are going to wear out their defense, asking them to be on the field all the time. 

 

Of course, some other stats were equally lopsided:  The Bills averaged 10.2 yards per play!  The Bills gained 552 yards and would certainly have gotten to 600 and maybe even 700 if they hadn’t taken their foot off the gas in the third quarter.

 

The Bills have to learn to be opportunistic.  They can’t let great opportunities turn into missed opportunities.  When the game was still in doubt (which wasn’t long), the Bills recovered a fumble at the Steelers’ 21.  They managed to get into the red zone for one play, then bumbled their way out again and missed the field goal.  There wasn’t much else to complain about.

 

Kahlil Shakir looks like he’s a keeper, even with a drop of a picture-perfect Allen throw.  He had multiple sure-handed catches, including one for a touchdown.  I don’t like having a rookie return punts, but he looked like a veteran back there, with a solid fair catch and with a really smart move to avoid fielding a wind-blown ball (even though the ball eventually was downed inside the five).  Gabriel Davis almost had a one-handed catch, but as he pulled it in the defensive back grabbed it, too, and both ran with the ball for several strides before Davis ripped the ball free for his second score. James Cook had a scintillating touchdown run, taking advantage of a big hole and then running away from the defense.  Kair Elam had an interception.  Stefon Diggs was Stefon Diggs, and Stefon Diggs is fabulous.

 

Josh Allen deserves his own paragraph.

 

By halftime, the rout was on.  The Steelers had no answers for the Bills defense, and they couldn’t stop the Bills’ offense.  All things considered, rookie Kenny Pickett played pretty well.  Our old buddy Levi Wallace got finger tips on what would have been a beautiful long completion, and maybe a touchdown, to Diggs.

 

It seems too good to be true.

 

Even the lady who sang the national anthem was great.

 

GO BILLS!!!

 

The Rockpile Review is written to share the passion we have for the Buffalo Bills. That passion was born in the Rockpile; its parents were everyday people of western New York who translated their dedication to a full day’s hard work and simple pleasures into love for a pro football team.

 

 

Edited October 10, 2022 by Shaw66

[CSBill]

Always fun Shaw. Thank you. And when they're winning, you can't help but contribute. I like the creativity, well done!

[Warcodered]

12 minutes ago, Shaw66 said:

Tremaine Edmunds was invisible, literally; I didn’t see him make one play all day.

[slipkid]

Thanks for the multiple encores, Shaw. My weekly reading for years.

 

Even by your high standards, this is brilliant!

[RiotAct]

LOL - awesome!

[Dr. K]

You are very clever.

 

Thanks!

[GETTOTHE50]

i dont get the point of the first draft

[NoHuddleKelly12]

Well done OP!!

[JoPoy88]

1 hour ago, Shaw66 said:

Yeah, yeah.  I said I wouldn't write these every week, and here I go, for the second week in a row.  I actually wrote two this week.

 

FIRST DRAFT

 

“You Call that Football?”

 

How long are we going to have to put up with this sorry excuse for football?

 

I mean, year after year, it’s the same old story.  Turnovers, miscues, bad clock management.  When will the Bills get a coach who will eliminate the mistakes, and players who do more than ask the crowd to make noise?

 

Look at their game against the Steelers.  Where should I start?  Well, let’s start at the start: Taiwan Jones butchering the opening kickoff.  Caught it, dropped it, picked it up, dropped, picked it up again and got tackled at the two.  The two!  Three plays later, the Bills’ offense was back to the bench and the defense was on the field. 

 

All game long, the Bills struggled to put together those long, clock-eating drives that all the best teams use to control the game.  It was embarrassing:  Three possessions that lasted just three plays, four possessions of just two plays, and one possession for one play.  Eight possessions of three or fewer players!  Really?  And when they finally put together nice-looking long drives, nine- and ten-play drives into the red zone, they gave the ball away, once on an Allen interception and once on a goal-line fumble. 

 

If you think I’m exaggerating, look at the stats:  The Steelers had 23 first downs compared to the Bills’ 21.  The Steelers dominated time of possession 36 minutes to 24.  The Bills are going to wear out their defense, asking them to be on the field all the time. 

 

The Bills have to learn to be opportunistic.  They can’t let great opportunities turn into missed opportunities.  The Bills had only two takeaways and squandered both.  The first was a fumble recovery at the Steelers’ 21.  They managed to get into the red zone for one play, then bumbled their way out again and missed the field goal.  The second was an interception when the game was already out of reach, and after the pick they managed -6 yards before giving up the ball.  Pitiful.

 

It seemed every player bungled something.  Dion Dawkins had his customary procedure penalty, Von Miller jumped so far off-side he practically needed a timeout to return to the defensive huddle.  Kahlil Shakir had a long run called most of the way back because – get this: he stepped out of bounds.  And he let a punt get past him and roll inside the five.  Gabriel Davis had only three catches on six targets.  Tremaine Edmunds was invisible, literally; I didn’t see him make one play all day.  James Cook had four measly touches, and Zach Moss had one. 

 

By halftime, the crowd had given up and stopped making noise.  They did come alive for an occasional play in the second half, but most of the time they just stood around laughing, like they thought they were at a party or something.  They weren’t taking the Steelers seriously at all. 

 

Some people will say I’m just too critical, but everything I’ve said is absolutely true.

 

At least the lady who sang the national anthem was great.

 

SECOND DRAFT

 

“Now, That’s What I Call Football!”

 

Have you ever seen such amazing football?

 

The same old story seems like such ancient history.  Turnovers, miscues, bad clock management, nothing matters.  When you’re good, you can overcome your mistakes and still dominate.. 

 

Look at the Bills’ game against the Steelers.  Where should I start?  Well, let’s start at the start: Taiwan Jones butchering the opening kickoff.  Caught it, dropped it, picked it up, dropped, picked it up again and got tackled at the two.  The two!  Three plays later, Josh Allen drops an absolute dime on Gabriel Davis for a 98-yard TD.  And that wasn’t even Davis’s best play of the game. 

 

All game long, the Bills struggled to put together those long, clock-eating drives that all the best teams use to control the game.  Why?  Because, get this: The Bills had a three-play touchdown drive, TWO two-play touchdown drives, and one ONE-play touchdown drive.  Add in two kneel-down possessions (to end the half and the game) and two three-and-outs in the second half, and the Bills had eight possessions of three or fewer players!  The Bills had only three long drives – one for a touchdown and two that ended with turnovers.

 

The game was so lopsided that some of the statistics were upside down:  The Steelers had 23 first downs compared to the Bills’ 21.  The Steelers dominated time of possession 36 minutes to 24.  The Steelers ran 72 plays compared to 54 by the Bills.  The Bills are going to wear out their defense, asking them to be on the field all the time. 

 

Of course, some other stats were equally lopsided:  The Bills averaged 10.2 yards per play!  The Bills gained 552 yards and would certainly have gotten to 600 and maybe even 700 if they hadn’t taken their foot off the gas in the third quarter.

 

The Bills have to learn to be opportunistic.  They can’t let great opportunities turn into missed opportunities.  When the game was still in doubt (which wasn’t long), the Bills recovered a fumble at the Steelers’ 21.  They managed to get into the red zone for one play, then bumbled their way out again and missed the field goal.  There wasn’t much else to complain about.

 

Kahlil Shakir looks like he’s a keeper, even with a drop of a picture-perfect Allen throw.  He had multiple sure-handed catches, including one for a touchdown.  I don’t like having a rookie return punts, but he looked like a veteran back there, with a solid fair catch and with a really smart move to avoid fielding a wind-blown ball (even though the ball eventually was downed inside the five).  Gabriel Davis almost had a one-handed catch, but as he pulled it in the defensive back grabbed it, too, and both ran with the ball for several strides before Davis ripped the ball free for his second score. James Cook had a scintillating touchdown run, taking advantage of a big hole and then running away from the defense.  Kair Elam had an interception.  Stefon Diggs was Stefon Diggs, and Stefon Diggs is fabulous.

 

Josh Allen deserves his own paragraph.

 

By halftime, the rout was on.  The Steelers had no answers for the Bills defense, and they couldn’t stop the Bills’ offense.  All things considered, rookie Kenny Pickett played pretty well.  Our old buddy Levi Wallace got finger tips on what would have been a beautiful long completion, and maybe a touchdown, to Diggs.

 

It seems too good to be true.

 

Even the lady who sang the national anthem was great.

 

GO BILLS!!!

 

The Rockpile Review is written to share the passion we have for the Buffalo Bills. That passion was born in the Rockpile; its parents were everyday people of western New York who translated their dedication to a full day’s hard work and simple pleasures into love for a pro football team.

 

 

keep it going shaw good stuff 

[Virgil]

46 minutes ago, RunJoshRun said:

Elam stunk today even with the INT.  How many times were passes thrown at him??

It felt like the entire first quarter 

[BigAl2526]

I really enjoy watching the Bills win in blowout fashion.  No stress.  No worry.  I suppose it's too much to ask for a blowout of the Chiefs next weekend.  

[BruceVilanch]

Good work!

[WyoAZBillfan]

Thank you Shaw, great write up as always. They last two weeks have been pleasant surprises for those of us that have looked forward to this material for ages. 
Thanks again and well done. 

[Thurman#1]

Nice. 

 

Thanks, as usual.

[Shaw66]

7 hours ago, GETTOTHE50 said:

i dont get the point of the first draft

I don't, either, but it was fun to write. 

[JMM]

Loved your first draft! 😁😁😆

[WhoTom]

That was one of your best ever, Shaw! I loved the first draft as a "trolling the trolls" piece. All you needed was a complaint about our backup QB and a comment about how the starting defense is made up of overpaid "system" players.

[machine gun kelly]

I started reading youre first draft and thought “what happened to our Rock in the Rockpile”. It took all of five seconds to start belly laughing.

 

you’re the best buddy.  I’ve been busy so not sure if we have our Virg rendering yet, but is always welcome.

[RiotAct]

11 hours ago, RunJoshRun said:

Elam stunk today even with the INT.  How many times were passes thrown at him??

Agree - and he mentioned as such in his postgame interview.  He was pretty brutal, INT notwithstanding.

[dock581]

4 hours ago, Shaw66 said:

I don't, either, but it was fun to write. 

It was perfect! The perspective of a negative nancy to a T. Obviously we have a terrible coach, a blind GM and a quarterback who takes too many chances😀