Recommendations for in-home care?

[NewEra]

Long story short, my mother is 74 and has recently lost the ability to walk, even with a walker.  She’s been in the Chautauqua Nursing and Rehab Facility in Dunkirk for a month+ now and is regressing rapidly mentally and physically since being in there.  She’s barely eating or drinking and I fear the end may be near.  After a few painful conversations where she begged me bring her to her house so she can die there……I’m going to head back east this weekend (I’m currently finishing up a bout with covid or I’d go today) and stay there until she improves or passes. a few questions.

 

The doctor said that she needs to be in a nursing home or 24 hour in home care.  Could there be legal ramifications if I pull my mother out of the facility, bring her to her home and stay with her while also hiring part time assistance?  I’m ok paying 6-8k a month for her care, but hoping to avoid the 13-20k I’m told it costs for 24hr care.  
 

after I access her health, if I feel that she doesn’t have long to live and she continues to go downhill can I get in trouble for taking her out of a stable situation and bringing her to her home to pass?  Sad to say, but that could be the situation.  
 

does anyone have the website or phone number of any in home senior care?  Can’t find much in the Dunkirk area

 

thanks in advance.  ❤️ 
 

 

[Doc]

Sorry to hear it.  Look into hospice.

[Augie]

5 minutes ago, Doc said:

Sorry to hear it.  Look into hospice.

 

My father was in hospice, and it was truly a beautiful experience. I know how odd that sounds, but it was true. 

[4merper4mer]

I don’t know anything about that area but know that situation is difficult if not impossible.  I feel for you and wish you the best.  I think every person is different but have seen 100% necessary changes like moving into a nursing home for rehab accelerating declines.  Things like this are unavoidable.  Whatever you do…..do your best….after that….do NOT let guilt creep in.  Don’t.  There are some situations where a good answer does not exist.

[SoTier]

I am so sorry for your mother's situation.  I think that you may have to jump through a few hoops to legally get your mother home if you don't already have some of the pieces in place.   It will help if your mother is considered legally competent, which it seems she still is.   That should enable her to assert her desire to return to her home.

 

The place to start is, I think, the Chautauqua County Office of the Aging.  The number for the Jamestown office is 716-661-7582.   For the Mayville office it's 716-753-4471.   For the Dunkirk-Fredonia office, it's 716-679-3417.  For the Sinclairville office, it's 716-962-8131.   I think that Mayville is the main office, so you might get the best advice there.

 

Another resource is Janell Sluga, Geriatric Care Manager for Senior Life Matters which is associated with the Lutheran Social Services in Jamestown, but SLM doesn't only help seniors at the LSS campus.  When I retired, she helped me navigate Medicare Part D. Her email is  janells@lutheran-jamestown.org and her phone is 716-720-9797.

 

Hope this helps.

[NewEra]

9 minutes ago, SoTier said:

I am so sorry for your mother's situation.  I think that you may have to jump through a few hoops to legally get your mother home if you don't already have some of the pieces in place.   It will help if your mother is considered legally competent, which it seems she still is.   That should enable her to assert her desire to return to her home.

 

The place to start is, I think, the Chautauqua County Office of the Aging.  The number for the Jamestown office is 716-661-7582.   For the Mayville office it's 716-753-4471.   For the Dunkirk-Fredonia office, it's 716-679-3417.  For the Sinclairville office, it's 716-962-8131.   I think that Mayville is the main office, so you might get the best advice there.

 

Another resource is Janell Sluga, Geriatric Care Manager for Senior Life Matters which is associated with the Lutheran Social Services in Jamestown, but SLM doesn't only help seniors at the LSS campus.  When I retired, she helped me navigate Medicare Part D. Her email is  janells@lutheran-jamestown.org and her phone is 716-720-9797.

 

Hope this helps.

Much appreciated.  Looks like I can use some of these resources to help educate myself on the upcoming weeks.  Thank you.

29 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

My father was in hospice, and it was truly a beautiful experience. I know how odd that sounds, but it was true. 

Thank Augie. He wasn’t in upstate by was he? 

[SoTier]

Good luck.   It's always difficult to deal with an ill parent long distance.

[Augie]

5 minutes ago, NewEra said:

Much appreciated.  Looks like I can use some of these resources to help educate myself on the upcoming weeks.  Thank you.

Thank Augie. He wasn’t in upstate by was he? 

 

No, this was in Sarasota, FL. They did a fantastic job, even coming in and cutting his hair and trimming his eyebrows while he was barely aware they were present. 

 

These hospice employees are special people, with special traits. God bless them all!  They get a few extra chits toward heaven. 

[NewEra]

18 minutes ago, Augie said:

 

No, this was in Sarasota, FL. They did a fantastic job, even coming in and cutting his hair and trimming his eyebrows while he was barely aware they were present. 

 

These hospice employees are special people, with special traits. God bless them all!  They get a few extra chits toward heaven. 

That’s great.  I’m really happy for you and your family that your father came to peace with such a great experience.  I hope to realize a similar closure 

[Mike in Horseheads]

2 hours ago, NewEra said:

Long story short, my mother is 74 and has recently lost the ability to walk, even with a walker.  She’s been in the Chautauqua Nursing and Rehab Facility in Dunkirk for a month+ now and is regressing rapidly mentally and physically since being in there.  She’s barely eating or drinking and I fear the end may be near.  After a few painful conversations where she begged me bring her to her house so she can die there……I’m going to head back east this weekend (I’m currently finishing up a bout with covid or I’d go today) and stay there until she improves or passes. a few questions.

 

The doctor said that she needs to be in a nursing home or 24 hour in home care.  Could there be legal ramifications if I pull my mother out of the facility, bring her to her home and stay with her while also hiring part time assistance?  I’m ok paying 6-8k a month for her care, but hoping to avoid the 13-20k I’m told it costs for 24hr care.  
 

after I access her health, if I feel that she doesn’t have long to live and she continues to go downhill can I get in trouble for taking her out of a stable situation and bringing her to her home to pass?  Sad to say, but that could be the situation.  
 

does anyone have the website or phone number of any in home senior care?  Can’t find much in the Dunkirk area

 

thanks in advance.  ❤️ 
 

 

Best of luck, my mom refused in home care or to wear a medic alert device so we had to move her to assisted living. Then as things progressed the dreaded nursing home. I hope you are able to get her home and keep her there for as long as possible  Best of luck!

[NewEra]

17 minutes ago, Mike in Horseheads said:

Best of luck, my mom refused in home care or to wear a medic alert device so we had to move her to assisted living. Then as things progressed the dreaded nursing home. I hope you are able to get her home and keep her there for as long as possible  Best of luck!

Thanks brother. 

[Just Jack]

My wife deals with this all day, every day. I'll pass along your post and see what she says.  

[Just Jack]

her reply…
 

The short answer is, if she is alert and oriented to person,  place, and time, then she, by law, can still make her own decisions 

If he is her Health Care Proxy then he/she can make these decisions 

Unfortunately home care is very short staffed but if the money is there and he/she's willing to pick up the slack then it should be considered a safe discharge plan 

I'd connect with Hospice first before bringing mom home

[SoTier]

Here's the link for hospice in Chautauqua County:  Hospice Chautauqua

[Royale with Cheese]

I used to work for an in home care agency.  You can save a ton of money by hiring a caregiver directly....maybe more if you give them a room in the house.  You're just paying their wages instead of all the overhead through an agency.  We would charge usually around $25 an hour for our services and pay the caregiver like $15 an hour....this was in the 2010 timeframe.  It's probably a lot more now.

 

Sorry to hear about this situation NewEra. 

[BringMetheHeadofLeonLett]

My gal got her Alzheimers mom switched from Medicare to Medicaid (OR state), which has a pretty robust in-home care program (11 hours/day).  They also have a private arrangement with a woman who lives in the home and is on call for the nights should something arise.  Don't know about NY, but here's a page to start if interested:

https://www.health.ny.gov/facilities/home_care/consumer.htm

 

she owns her home, but still qualified due to low enough monthly income- late husband's SS

[Draconator]

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom New Era. 

 

Both my parents passed while in a nursing home. Mom had the beginnings of Alzheimer's so she didn't know where she was. My dad died not from Covid, but because of Covid. After my Mom passed, he lived with my sister for a couple of years, but his mobility went down hill and needed more specialized care. He didn't necessarily want to be in a nursing home but understood why he had to go and accepted it. He was getting some mobility back through daily PT, then Covid hit and he was confined to his room and bed. Circulation issues started in his legs and lost the ability to walk within a couple of months. He was still hitting on the nurses though. He had his sense of humor right up until his passing. 

 

I would agree with others here and check into Hospice.