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If Men Wrote Advice Columns


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If men wrote advice coulumns!

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>

> Q My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

> >

> > A Obviously your husband cannot get enough of

> you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing

> your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you

> closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates

> involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him

> be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just

> perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

> >

> > Q My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

> >

> > A Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to

> your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to

> perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.

> The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day:

> then cook him a nice meal.

> >

> > Q My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

> >

> > A This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged.

> The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men.

> A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can

> foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can

> rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or

> two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how

> emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best

> thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to

> perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

> >

> > Q My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

> >

> > A Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess

> with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You

> may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to

> your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform

> oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

> >

> > Q My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

> >

> > A You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek

> sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time

> consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky

> requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your

> man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in

> the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by

> performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

> >

> > Q My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep

> without giving me one.

> >

> > A I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to

> cook him a nice meal.

>

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