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- Rufus T. Firefly: Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
- Chicolini: I've done it already.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
- Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.

 

- Rufus T. Firefly: We're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women!

 

- Rufus T. Firefly: Lieutenant, why weren't the original indictment papers placed in my portfolio?
- Bob Roland: Why, uh, I didn't think those papers were important at this time, Your Excellency.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You didn't think they were important? Do you realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers?

 

- Rufus T. Firefly: Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

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