OT Erie County Child Support (my tale)

[Tolstoy]

It really, really pisses me off when I hear people say: you made a mistake and should have used a condom. For those of us who are parents, you are telling us that our child was better off being not born. In fact, you are suggesting that as the product of a mistake, the child is a mistake. Well, if afrodziak made a mistake, it was in not marrying the girl that he impregnated the first time, and then in not marrying the girl he impregnated the second time. It appears that he got it right the thrid time!

 

However, I give credit to afrodziak for not shirking his responsibility in child support. Still, I imagine he feels the anxiety of not being able to be a father to his children on an everyday basis. That must be tough. Give him some credit. For Pete's sake.

[Tux of Borg]

Yeah, it's not like they're living at TracyLee's house. 

331229[/snapback]

 

TracyLee isn't the poster girl for conjugal visits for nothing.

[Spiderweb]

Here's a guy who accepted his responsibility which included a few surprises he hadn't counted on, yet found himself blasted by many for everything other than what his post was about. He never asked for anyone to condone what led to his situation, only to possibly understand and share in his frustration with the "system". It must be wonderful that all those who ripped him have never made a mistake, or have ever been dealt a bad hand (birth control pill failure).

 

Fake-Fat......Should we have a wealth of sympathy for afrodziak? Maybe not, especially since the mistake was repetitive one, but I can understand his frustration. Might he and his ex-girlfiends had other choices besides welfare, probably. Yet in both cases, life was chosen. Fact is, it would have been easier to abort, but they chose life instead. In the eyes of many, that was a good thing.

 

As for your position on "life", I'd have to disagree a bit. Life is force, in and of itself. Sure it requires support, but let us not rationalize away life because of this. Life begins at conception. That is as simple and as plain as the noses on our faces. Once conception takes place, genetics take over. Mothers, and this is not meant to trivialize mothers, really are little more than shelter and a food source prior to birth. Yet it is life, the beginning, and it will grow, evolve, age, whither, and cease.

 

Is it horrific what some unwanted children go through? Yes, without a doubt, but that is an indictment of life's support systems, not of life itself. As to whether the Government or the Religious should legislate what is life and what is not, I'll leave that up to you. Personally, after being a part of my six year old son Johnny's three and a half year battle with Leukemia, I've learned an appreciation of just how special and fragile life is and that every moment should be cherished. I'm also glad to say that he has been off chemo for just under a year now and has been doing well. Every day I've had with him is wonderous and special, as will be every day we share going forward. This applies to all my children, five in total.

 

Bottom line is that afrodziak was upset with how the county dealt with him. He wasn't running away from his responsibilities or trying to escape from them. As someone who dealt with the same agencies years ago, I can attest that fairness, common sense, and logic were not part of the "game" then and probably even less so today.

[Alaska Darin]

As someone who dealt with the same agencies years ago, I can attest that fairness, common sense, and logic were not part of the "game" then and probably even less so today.

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Which makes it that much more amazing that so many are willing to turn over so much power to same.

[Boatdrinks]

It really, really pisses me off when I hear people say: you made a mistake and should have used a condom.  For those of us who are parents, you are telling us that our child was better off being not born.  In fact, you are suggesting that as the product of a mistake, the child is a mistake.  Well, if afrodziak made a mistake, it was in not marrying the girl that he impregnated the first time, and then in not marrying the girl he impregnated the second time.  It appears that he got it right the thrid time!

 

However, I give credit to afrodziak for not shirking his responsibility in child support.  Still, I imagine he feels the anxiety of not being able to be a father to his children on an everyday basis.  That must be tough.  Give him some credit.  For Pete's sake.

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Why does it piss YOU off? It has ZERO to do with you. I don't agree with afro, but the fact is if you don't want children ,failure to use birth control IS a mistake. Yes the Pill was used, but how about a condom as a backup plan? Maybe she was lying about being on the pill, who knows. I'd always want to "cover" myself just in case. It does not mean YOUR child was better off not being born. It means not everyone wants to be a parent and an unwanted child is a tragedy in the making. Be responsible and wrap that rascal! But it really really pisses me off when people ASSUME that being a parent should be everyone's goal in life.

[TracyLee]

Here's a guy who accepted his responsibility which included a few surprises he hadn't counted on, yet found himself blasted by many for everything other than what his post was about. He never asked for anyone to condone what led to his situation, only to possibly understand and share in his frustration with the "system". It must be wonderful that all those who ripped him have never made a mistake, or have ever been dealt a bad hand (birth control pill failure).

 

331318[/snapback]

 

Remember where you are, there are a few people on these boards that have no lives outside of TBD and live for any chance to rip somebody on a daily basis, whether it pertains to the topic or not. It's too bad really, cause we're all Bills fans and we all come to these boards to chat and catch up on the latest, but you can fully expect to get blasted by the few who have nothing better to do but seek out someone to rip (usually, all you gotta do is look at their post count). Sometimes it's just a consequence of using this board.

[Campy]

Dude... I've got zero sympathy for you.  You get what you deserve.  Who the hell do you think you are that you can go around and make babies out of wedlock, #1, and #2 not be able to support the kid(s) thereafter.

 

You're an excellent example of what our society has become.  A bunch of losers that think there are zero consequences for whatever they do.

 

Bottom line.... we reap what we sew.  You made your bed.... be a man an lay in it.  Do the right thing.  If you've got to work six jobs, so what... your kids don't deserve to suffer because of your stupidity.

331067[/snapback]

Thanks for sharing your self-righteous rant but I guess you missed the part where he says he gladly pays the support.

[Surfmeister]

Kids need every chance they can get to grow up OK. That's two married parents who stay married no matter what to try their best to raise the kids. Bailing on them is too sad.

[Spiderweb]

Kids need every chance they can get to grow up OK.  That's two married parents who stay married no matter what to try their best to raise the kids.  Bailing on them is too sad.

331455[/snapback]

I agree, but it happens as was in my case many years ago, one's spouse can walk, no matter what you do and then the game begins.

 

I'm strongly in favor of marriage, but it's the having a home with both role models, male and female (not to slight those of alternative couplings but it takes both the male and female to provide the complete backdrop), who love each other, respect each other and who both love and respect their children. This is the short version as many more factors play into it, but this is where it begins IMHO.

[Spiderweb]

Thanks for sharing your self-righteous rant but I guess you missed the part where he says he gladly pays the support. 

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Thanks for adding that. I started to, but I backed off......

[Spiderweb]

Which makes it that much more amazing that so many are willing to turn over so much power to same.

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While you and I would probably disagree with regard to what role Govenrment should play in general, this is an area where I agree with you wholeheartedly.

[MAGIC 8-BALL]

Ever try wearing a rubber?

[Arkady Renko]

Hmm.. maybe it's time to let go of regrettable threads started in the past. For everyone's sake...

[The_Real]

I can't believe what judgemental snobs some of you are. Unplanned pregnancy is rampid everywhere in the world and you are actually going to criticize someone who steps up to the plate and takes care of his kids?

 

I'm not saying that he should be celebrated after all it is his responsibility, but he accepted that. The whole point of the post was how unfair the program is. You guys turned it into a chance to preach.

 

 

Sheesh.

 

T_R

[Fake-Fat Sunny]

I can't believe what judgemental snobs  some of you are.  Unplanned pregnancy is rampid everywhere in the world and you are actually going to criticize someone who steps up to the plate and takes care of his kids? 

 

I'm not saying that he should be celebrated after all it is his responsibility, but he accepted that.  The whole point of the post was how unfair the program is.  You guys turned it into a chance to preach. 

Sheesh.

 

T_R

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I think the preaching started not with the responses but with the initial post by Afro and even in the subject line where he posed this as a question of good/evil.

 

I think much of the "preaching" in this thread stems from folks who reject a depiction of this situation as one between good (Afro) and evil (Erie County). As Afro passingly seems to acknowledge while he is not evil he certainly triggered this chain of events which he judges resulted in evil with the kind donation of his sperm (a couple of times).

 

I think there are a couple of items which seem fairly true to me:

 

1. It seems inaccurate to describe the Erie County monolith as evil or good because it is the individuals which make good/evil choices and not what he perceives as a monolith. Almost all (in fact all) individuals are both good and evil and no one makes choices with the same result or the same intent all the time. As inaccurate as it is to describe even an individual as good or evil it is pretty silly to describe an entity consisting of thousands of individuals who make variable choices as flat out good or flat out evil.

 

Sure one can make a summation that it 60/40, 40/60 or 51/49 one way or the other, but the perspective shared here driven by Afros anger or frustration does not seem to do justice to a reasonable summation that individual choices or even the perceived monlith as a whole has some good parts and some evil parts associated with it.

 

2. Afro never loses his right/ability/whatever to have an opinion and those of us he has been nice enough to share his views with actually pay him an odd tribute by replying with our two cents.

 

However, though Afro certainly does not give up his right to have an opinion by the outcomes which stem from his Johnson, he actually has ceded any reasonable right to be pissed about this circumstance.

 

Not ending up with a life partner with the woman he brought a child into this world with once can certainly just be bad luck. Twice can even be a coincidence. However, the third time he has finally found (thank gosh) a life partner is a trend of the poster serially bringing children into this world and him not being there for them as close to 100% of the time as he can manage.

 

If I'm willing to condemn the Erie County folks as being evil for how they deal with paying a subsidy with our tax dollars for these kids, then actually I think I am even more willing to declare Afro evil for not exercising control of his johnson.

 

Fortunately (for me actually because I think it speaks to how a reader views life) I do not think Afro is evil at all because he unintendly brought a couple of kids in this world and he has been unable to be there for them anywhere close to the 100% that kids deserve from their parents.

 

However, while I do not think at all that Afro is evil, I think that because he unintentionally brought kids into this world and has not been able to exercise enough control over their life situation to keep them off the public dole that he has pretty much given up the right to be pissed about how government deals with this situation.

 

Kids are critically important so by all means if government is screwing with them then protect them, but Afro has so much made this bed that to read his whining about it is simply bbblllllaaaggghhh.

 

Is Erie County evil as Afro asks? Nope, I don't even think he is evil and since he and the Mom started this they are even better candidates for this designation than the County folks.