How do you deal with a Debbie Downer?

[Another Fan]

I know a few and have to work with a few managers that fit that profile.  
 

Sometimes I find just saying nothing/avoiding them at all means is best.  

[Gugny]

Personal life - remove them from your circle.

Work life - kill 'em with kindness and don't let them bring you down.

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

38 minutes ago, Another Fan said:

How do you deal with a Debbie Downer?

 

 

[ExiledInIllinois]

41 minutes ago, Gugny said:

Personal life - remove them from your circle.

I've been listening to your advice for years.  Ever see how I circle my wagons!

😏 Thanks you're the best!

 

 

[ndirish1978]

1 hour ago, Another Fan said:

I know a few and have to work with a few managers that fit that profile.  
 

Sometimes I find just saying nothing/avoiding them at all means is best.  

 

For some, this is their personality. Most downers are unhappy with their own lives and take out their misery on other people. Some try to engage others in complaining about others in the office or work situations - in my experience it is best not to engage, just smile say something nice and excuse yourself. Doom and gloom people -try and set the tone for all your conversations with them. Be polite and positive and let them know through your actions that you are someone they can count on to get your work done but it's not worth the time to try and befriend them, they will drain you of your energy.

[leh-nerd skin-erd]

4 hours ago, Another Fan said:

I know a few and have to work with a few managers that fit that profile.  
 

Sometimes I find just saying nothing/avoiding them at all means is best.  

It's important to realize that men and women respond to different environmental stimuli, especially in a quasi-professional setting.   You want to validate one's individuality, of course, but you must offer intellectual honesty because a rising tide lifts all boats. 

 

If male, tell him you've been known to wax a chump like a candle.

 

If female, you have a choice here, and your life likely depends on you making the right call.  You go with either telling her she's a firework, or that you got 99 problems and a ***** ain't one. 

 

This is how we build mutual, sustaining and sustainable respect in this modern world. 

 

 

 

 

[frostbitmic]

Nod ... Smile ... Walk Away

[Jauronimo]

10 hours ago, Another Fan said:

I know a few and have to work with a few managers that fit that profile.  
 

Sometimes I find just saying nothing/avoiding them at all means is best.  

I used to work with the a serial complainer.  I used to cheer him up by saying:

 

"Cheer up, Chris.  Its not that bad.  Just remember that one day you will be dead.  And probably a lot sooner than you think!"

[Just Jack]

For every downer statement they make, you make a cheery one.  They complain about the rain, you mention how sunny it was on your vacation in Hawaii. 

 

[Bad Things]

I sometimes call 'em out by saying something like, "Well, aren't you a little ray of sunshine!", with a big smile on my face, and see what happens.

 

I consider myself a very happy person and have no time for whiners. 

[Jauronimo]

Calmly and courteously explain to them that "across the street" is just a cry for help and if they really mean business they'll go "down the tracks" but you don't think they have the guts!

[Just Jack]

We can't be discussing Debbie Downer without posting this classic...

 

 

[Marv's Neighbor]

8 hours ago, Just Jack said:

We can't be discussing Debbie Downer without posting this classic...

 

 

A Cheetriots fan!

[4merper4mer]

13 hours ago, Jauronimo said:

I used to work with the a serial complainer.  I used to cheer him up by saying:

 

"Cheer up, Chris.  Its not that bad.  Just remember that one day you will be dead.  And probably a lot sooner than you think!"

At that point, Jim punched Jauronimo for calling him Chris.

[Patrick Duffy]

I feel like we have all likely been down or a "debbie downer" about something at some point in our lives. Although there are lots of ppl that just seem to be that way too often and about small things that just shouldn't bother, which is then imo just attention seeking.

[eball]

It's a victim mentality.  Don't feed it, don't empathize with it, and (as others have noted) deflect attention to something positive if you can't get away from that person.

[ExiledInIllinois]

25 minutes ago, eball said:

It's a victim mentality.  Don't feed it, don't empathize with it, and (as others have noted) deflect attention to something positive if you can't get away from that person.

Taking it to the macro level:

 

It has always existed... it's on steroids now.  Lots of people want to be the victim, it's socially made acceptable and most importantly to these people: It pays!

 

Society does exactly what you say we shouldn't!

[Johnny Hammersticks]

I work with one.  He’s always miserable and never stops complaining.  After I got to know him well enough, I felt comfortable pointing his Debbie Downer tendencies in a funny way.  He’s still a constant buzz kill, but at least now I can call him out and we laugh about it and lighten the mood.

[ExiledInIllinois]

3 minutes ago, Johnny Hammersticks said:

I work with one.  He’s always miserable and never stops complaining.  After I got to know him well enough, I felt comfortable pointing his Debbie Downer tendencies in a funny way.  He’s still a constant buzz kill, but at least now I can call him out and we laugh about it and lighten the mood.

Nothing wrong with a fun-lovin' killjoy! 😉😜 They can be positive.

 

I mean the exact opposite are those Pollyannas.  How annoying! 😏 

[Greg S]

Since Jets fans are debbie downers about the state of their football team I just laugh at them especially when leaving MetLife.