Job offer question

[Captain Hindsight]

I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position 

 

My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? 

[Buffalo716]

It's probably a company by company thing but yes if you quit after taking it , some may require you pay back the money they used to pay your insurance and such

Edited August 9, 2021 by Buffalo716

[Augie]

5 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said:

I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position 

 

My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? 

If it’s the right job with the right company, my advise is to look long term and do what is best for you and your family now and down the road. You may have to suck it up and repay some which might be painful, especially with a newborn. If you can swing it, I’d recommend keeping my eye on the big prize. 

 

I always prefer to look LONG TERM with these decisions. 

Edited August 9, 2021 by Augie

[EmotionallyUnstable]

If they make the offer, and they’re serious about hiring you, explain your situation to management and I imagine they could hook you up with HR, to help you navigate these circumstances. 
 

Chances are they’ve dealt with something similar, or can at least offer you some more meaningful advice. 
 

I’ve only ever been hired using an interview process once, but in my experience, it’s best to lay all your cards on the table. 
 

 

[Doc]

2 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said:

I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position 

 

My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? 

 

Can you start work with your new company after your FMLA ends +/- a couple weeks for notice that you're leaving?

[Just Joshin']

You may be able to negotiate a signing bonus or delayed start in a tight job market.

[Chef Jim]

Yes you never want to burn a bridge because in hindsight…….

[BADOLBILZ]

 

Honestly,  your biggest concern going forward if you irritate your current employer is a future employer finding out that you took 8 weeks of family leave when you didn't give birth.  

 

You may think that's a male chauvinist perspective.........but if so,  you haven't heard female management discussing the topic.   I've found they keep more detailed mental lists of slights/perceived wrongs.😉

 

It makes you look like a clock puncher/non-career oriented employee..........and a prime candidate for top grading off in the future when there could be less demand for your services.   

 

My advice is cut your leave short,  even if you have to return some money and be forthright your employer.    Most of the time people think that their company values them more than they do.   Think of it as an extension of the "20% of people do 80% of the work and 80% of the people think they are the 20%" axiom.  

 

It's possible they will be relieved...........but finding out AFTER your paid leave is almost up and THEN having to find a replacement after someone worked to keep your seat warm is not a good way to leave.

[thenorthremembers]

8 hours ago, BADOLBILZ said:

 

Honestly,  your biggest concern going forward if you irritate your current employer is a future employer finding out that you took 8 weeks of family leave when you didn't give birth.  

 

You may think that's a male chauvinist perspective.........but if so,  you haven't heard female management discussing the topic.   I've found they keep more detailed mental lists of slights/perceived wrongs.😉

 

It makes you look like a clock puncher/non-career oriented employee..........and a prime candidate for top grading off in the future when there could be less demand for your services.   

 

My advice is cut your leave short,  even if you have to return some money and be forthright your employer.    Most of the time people think that their company values them more than they do.   Think of it as an extension of the "20% of people do 80% of the work and 80% of the people think they are the 20%" axiom.  

 

It's possible they will be relieved...........but finding out AFTER your paid leave is almost up and THEN having to find a replacement after someone worked to keep your seat warm is not a good way to leave.

Totally agree with this.  Ive worked with the same company for 11 years, and there is no way I would take the full 8 weeks and then leave.  I know its not a popular opinion these days, but like it or not that company has helped you lay the foundation of having a family.

 

Rather than taking a tactical approach try and consider what the right way to do things is.  

[Another Fan]

14 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said:

I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position 

 

My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? 

Congrats on the newborn!

 

I actually envy the position you’re in in a way.  I don’t necessarily agree with the saying the best time to look for a job is when you’re employed.  I’m sure it looks better but you have more time to emotionally invest in interviews if you’re home.  Plus the awkward try to leave work early/not raise suspicion thing.  In a way you have the best of both worlds.

 

As other said here my advise is to trust you’re gut and think what’s best for you long term 

[Gugny]

11 hours ago, BADOLBILZ said:

 

Honestly,  your biggest concern going forward if you irritate your current employer is a future employer finding out that you took 8 weeks of family leave when you didn't give birth.  

 

You may think that's a male chauvinist perspective.........but if so,  you haven't heard female management discussing the topic.   I've found they keep more detailed mental lists of slights/perceived wrongs.😉

 

It makes you look like a clock puncher/non-career oriented employee..........and a prime candidate for top grading off in the future when there could be less demand for your services.   

 

My advice is cut your leave short,  even if you have to return some money and be forthright your employer.    Most of the time people think that their company values them more than they do.   Think of it as an extension of the "20% of people do 80% of the work and 80% of the people think they are the 20%" axiom.  

 

It's possible they will be relieved...........but finding out AFTER your paid leave is almost up and THEN having to find a replacement after someone worked to keep your seat warm is not a good way to leave.

 

@Captain Hindsight - Disregard what's written above.

 

First of all - dads taking paternal leave is very common.  This isn't 1970.

 

Secondly, all FMLA does is secure your job when out on medical leave.  It has nothing to do with pay.  The only way you'll owe the company money if you leave is if you're being paid with PTO that you haven't yet accrued.  For example, where I work, hourly employees get 24 PTO days per year ... so they accrue two days/month.  If someone wants to take 10 PTO days in January, they can - even though they're only accruing two days at the end of January.  If they quit on Feb. 1st, then 8 days (64 hours) of PTO would come out of their last paycheck because they took those days off using PTO and were paid for them before they'd accrued the time.  Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with FMLA.

 

Lastly, if you're honest with your future employer about your paternal leave, they will understand and - if they're a decent company - encourage you to take what you need prior to starting.  That said, I'll refer to the previous paragraph .... if you're using your PTO to get paid during leave, then you may want to consider cutting your leave short and starting your new job earlier, strictly for financial reasons.

 

Best of luck to you and congrats on the baby!

[Captain Hindsight]

15 hours ago, Doc said:

 

Can you start work with your new company after your FMLA ends +/- a couple weeks for notice that you're leaving?

I hope so. I was pretty open with the recruiter on the inital call about my situation and they didnt seem to think that was a problem

17 hours ago, EmotionallyUnstable said:

If they make the offer, and they’re serious about hiring you, explain your situation to management and I imagine they could hook you up with HR, to help you navigate these circumstances. 
 

Chances are they’ve dealt with something similar, or can at least offer you some more meaningful advice. 
 

I’ve only ever been hired using an interview process once, but in my experience, it’s best to lay all your cards on the table. 
 

 

I will do this, this is good advice. 

 

2 hours ago, Gugny said:

 

@Captain Hindsight - Disregard what's written above.

 

First of all - dads taking paternal leave is very common.  This isn't 1970.

 

Secondly, all FMLA does is secure your job when out on medical leave.  It has nothing to do with pay.  The only way you'll owe the company money if you leave is if you're being paid with PTO that you haven't yet accrued.  For example, where I work, hourly employees get 24 PTO days per year ... so they accrue two days/month.  If someone wants to take 10 PTO days in January, they can - even though they're only accruing two days at the end of January.  If they quit on Feb. 1st, then 8 days (64 hours) of PTO would come out of their last paycheck because they took those days off using PTO and were paid for them before they'd accrued the time.  Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with FMLA.

 

Lastly, if you're honest with your future employer about your paternal leave, they will understand and - if they're a decent company - encourage you to take what you need prior to starting.  That said, I'll refer to the previous paragraph .... if you're using your PTO to get paid during leave, then you may want to consider cutting your leave short and starting your new job earlier, strictly for financial reasons.

 

Best of luck to you and congrats on the baby!

Thanks, I have only used 2 days of PTO just to finish out the week my son was born, so I still have a week or so built up. I am getting the FMLA through a company called shelterpoint, only got one check so far

 

last interview went well, he basically told me I'm going to get an offer so I guess I will just have to review it and make the best decision for me and my family

 

thanks everyone

[teef]

4 hours ago, Gugny said:

 

@Captain Hindsight - Disregard what's written above.

 

First of all - dads taking paternal leave is very common.  This isn't 1970.

 

Secondly, all FMLA does is secure your job when out on medical leave.  It has nothing to do with pay.  The only way you'll owe the company money if you leave is if you're being paid with PTO that you haven't yet accrued.  For example, where I work, hourly employees get 24 PTO days per year ... so they accrue two days/month.  If someone wants to take 10 PTO days in January, they can - even though they're only accruing two days at the end of January.  If they quit on Feb. 1st, then 8 days (64 hours) of PTO would come out of their last paycheck because they took those days off using PTO and were paid for them before they'd accrued the time.  Either way, it has absolutely nothing to do with FMLA.

 

Lastly, if you're honest with your future employer about your paternal leave, they will understand and - if they're a decent company - encourage you to take what you need prior to starting.  That said, I'll refer to the previous paragraph .... if you're using your PTO to get paid during leave, then you may want to consider cutting your leave short and starting your new job earlier, strictly for financial reasons.

 

Best of luck to you and congrats on the baby!

[Back2Buff]

21 hours ago, Captain Hindsight said:

I am currently on FMLA with the birth of my son a few weeks ago and was contacted to interview for a position right after he was born. I decided to take the interview because it was a good company and a good job and the interviews have gone well so I am expecting them to make me an offer. Assuming it’s a good offer, I think I will be accepting the position 

 

My question is how to handle leaving my current role. I obviously don’t want to burn any bridges, but I don’t want to end my leave early (I’m only on week 3 of 8 ) just to put in my two week notice. Would I owe them any money I’ve been paid through FMLA if I were to leave the company? 

 

If you think this job is the best situation for your family long term, but you still want your relationship with your past employer, you go back to work ASAP and cut the leave short.

 

Allows for a transition phase for your past employer.

 

This whole dudes taking weeks and weeks off for a baby is so strange to me.  That thing didn't come out of you.  Never was needed years ago.

[Miyagi-Do Karate]

Lot of boomers in this thread!!  😃

 

Times have changed. If you are a millennial or younger, you take your full paternity leave proudly. 
 

At a prior workplace, we had people leave all the time mid-maternity and mid-paternity leave to go other places. It’s pretty common. You Might irritate a few people, but with some good Messaging, I doubt it is grounds to burn bridges. 

[Buffalo716]

1 hour ago, Miyagi-Do Karate said:

Lot of boomers in this thread!!  😃

 

Times have changed. If you are a millennial or younger, you take your full paternity leave proudly. 
 

At a prior workplace, we had people leave all the time mid-maternity and mid-paternity leave to go other places. It’s pretty common. You Might irritate a few people, but with some good Messaging, I doubt it is grounds to burn bridges. 

I mean just cuz you can doesn't mean you need to

 

I'm not going to chastise anybody who does

 

But I know plenty of men who don't, and it doesn't make them less of fathers 

 

Some men need to work and be active.. like mentally and physically they need to grind.. it helps their mood and everything

Edited August 9, 2021 by Buffalo716

[Miyagi-Do Karate]

2 hours ago, Buffalo716 said:

I mean just cuz you can doesn't mean you need to

 

I'm not going to chastise anybody who does

 

But I know plenty of men who don't, and it doesn't make them less of fathers 

 

Some men need to work and be active.. like mentally and physically they need to grind.. it helps their mood and everything

yeah, to each his own. My point is only that there isn’t the stigma of paternity leave there was once, or at least the fear of retribution. Millennials and pretty much non-boomers are going to take leave if they want. Amongst millennials, surveys indicate that things like work-life balance and leave policies are more valued than salary. 

[Buffalo716]

2 minutes ago, Miyagi-Do Karate said:

yeah, to each his own. My point is only that there isn’t the stigma of paternity leave there was once, or at least the fear of retribution. Millennials and pretty much non-boomers are going to take leave if they want. Amongst millennials, surveys indicate that things like work-life balance and leave policies are more valued than salary. 

I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization 

 

I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Miyagi-Do Karate]

1 hour ago, Buffalo716 said:

I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization 

 

I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yeah, not everyone is the same. But you would be surprised at the stats on this. This is something I just pulled up, even though it’s four years old (I would guess the numbers are even higher now):

 

“Millennials value parental leave more than earlier generations, so much so that 83 percent of American millennials said in Ernst & Young’s global generational survey of 9,700 people that they would be more likely to join a company offering such benefits. What’s more, 38 percent even said they would move from the United States to another country with better leave policies.”

 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2017/11/28/well/family/millennials-see-paternity-leave-as-a-priority.amp.html

 

 

 

 

[NoSaint]

On 8/9/2021 at 4:50 PM, Miyagi-Do Karate said:

Lot of boomers in this thread!!  😃

 

Times have changed. If you are a millennial or younger, you take your full paternity leave proudly. 
 

At a prior workplace, we had people leave all the time mid-maternity and mid-paternity leave to go other places. It’s pretty common. You Might irritate a few people, but with some good Messaging, I doubt it is grounds to burn bridges. 

the bridges burned by participating in reasonable accommodations afforded to your family are usually not bridges you would want cross again anyway. 
 

Don’t be a jerk about things and don’t screw anyone just for the sake of doing them dirty… but also don’t shortchange your family because you are playing scared either. 

On 8/9/2021 at 8:17 PM, Buffalo716 said:

I'm sure for some but not all.. that's just generalization 

 

I know some millennials who work 80-100 hour weeks so there wifes don't have to work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I mean obviously a survey expressing a shift in preferences doesn’t express uniform and lock step stances on a topic across tens of millions of people.