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Posted
19 hours ago, MiltonWaddams said:

I am very happy for Jordan. Taking that step is a big one and shows a great degree of self-awareness and self control. Maturation is a beautiful thing and clarity of purpose is even more so.

This. All day every day.
Rooting  for Jordan the Man.

Posted
7 minutes ago, JMF2006 said:

 

Thanks :) 

 

We all gotta do what we gotta do to  be happy.

 

I went from fun drunk to miserable drunk.....not a good way to live your life. 

I hate to do the social vs. just football thIng, but you fixed it for today.

 

I know enough alcoholics to know they only say I’m sober today.  I love that about those guys as they admit I have/had a problem, and I can promise today is ok.

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Posted

Super courageous of him and glad he got sober and shared it. Crazy that it was that playoff loss that looks like it pushed him over the edge. No one can ever say he doesn't care about the game.

 

And on top of being incredibly hot, his wife is also loving and supportive.

Posted
On 3/13/2021 at 7:46 PM, Motor26 said:


As someone in a constant battle, that pissed me off. No one goes into AA and just decided they are better than the people there. You’re ALL there for the same reason. Because you’re an alcoholic. All on the same level, whether an NFL player, or a guy off the street. It’s the same struggle. I do hope he’s doing well in his road to recovery, but to paint himself as above the people he met in AA is despicable. 

I took it that he heard the stories of others who lost everything of importance in their life to their disease and that it could have soon been his story as well. Not despicable, nor is it saying that he is "above" them.  They gave him insight on where his life was headed if he did not face his alcoholism and it has helped him get one year of sobriety.  He offered to talk to others about if they wanted.

Posted

Great respect to JP. It's not easy to publicly own personal struggles.  Hopefully he inspires others with his transparency. It's great news for him and his family. The opposite outcome from a Vincent Jackson scenario.

Posted

Just stick to smoking pot, doesn't give you hangovers and you never have to worry about losing control. That is how I stay away from the bottle, realizing I can wake up in the morning and not feel like *****.

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Posted

I'm glad he got help i've known a few people with addictions and it's not a pretty thing !

 

That being said making the kind of cash those guys make puts them in a different mind set i think they forget what it took to get where they are and the cash just enables them especially in the off season to just party a lot more and be invited to the big parties more because of who they are so it becomes a way of life after a while .

 

I think the Bills players, coaches & franchise in general has probably helped him defeat those demons  !

 

 Keep up the good work Poyer you don't need that stuff !! 

Posted

I am just noting that the people who have actually dealt with substance abuse issues are the ones with little issue with Poyer.

 

I'll throw my name in. I considered myself a functioning one. I needed the drink to take the edge off and deal with the frustrations from work. I had a job, I had a wife, I had friends and if people sometimes were worried about me they were overreacting. I was perfectly alright until I wasn't. 

 

I am now 18 months sober and with a kid due in a few weeks. I could never be a proper father if I was the way I was. AA was ok as group therapy but I can't say I found the "steps" of any use, but just taking about it helped. 

 

I wish Poyer the best and hope he's here for a long time

 

 

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, transplantbillsfan said:

Super courageous of him and glad he got sober and shared it. Crazy that it was that playoff loss that looks like it pushed him over the edge. No one can ever say he doesn't care about the game.

That's what I took out of it as well.

 

By being public with it, he can also expect help - and accountability - from teammates and coaches. And also avoid to get tempted by what would have been merely innocent social drink invitations.

 

Impressive he can be as successful in football with such an issue. 

 

 

Edit: as for the car thing... you guys forget that many of these players make MILLIONS? Those aren't just made up numbers for your stats ha ha, nor are they dressed in football gear 24/7. I don't see it at all as showing off. 

Edited by Jerome007
Posted
On 3/13/2021 at 6:07 PM, Miyagi-Do Karate said:

This sort of also explains his wife being so vocal about his contract situation right after the end of last season.  I thought it came out of nowhere, yet it didn’t— it apparently was causing him a lot of stress and contributing to his issues. 

Hes been sober a year and her social media is still a dumpster fire.

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Posted
16 minutes ago, Jauronimo said:

Hes been sober a year and her social media is still a dumpster fire.

She is so hot but she’s a lot.  But good for Poyer for sobering up. It has to be hard to do so in his position. 

Posted
3 hours ago, C.Biscuit97 said:

She is so hot but she’s a lot.  But good for Poyer for sobering up. It has to be hard to do so in his position. 

 

LOL gotta love the muffin who responded to him on one of Bush's three-pieces-of-string-and a jiggle Instas "Is your wife single?" 😅

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Posted
On 3/14/2021 at 12:35 PM, Hapless Bills Fan said:

 

You seem to have a lot of energy here. I don't want to argue, because I truly believe everyone has to find their own path here and that actually it's a bit of a problem that so many treatment programs do take a 12-step model because there are people who just can't relate.   Addiction is a horrid problem to which there seem no sure-fire treatments as of today and it sucks.

 

On the other hand, I wanted to respond because I kind of see three issues here:

1) whether 12-step programs are a good approach to addiction treatment. you seem to acknowledge the benefit for some, I can acknowledge it's not for everyone so maybe we have more common ground here than it first appears?

2) whether addiction (to alcohol or other) is, in fact, a lifelong issue - whether you're an "alcoholic forever"

3) whether a strategy other than complete abstinence can be effective treatment

 

On the last point, I used Google to find something that I thought would be straightforward to read and in agreement with current research as far as I know it. (Some people confuse this with not knowing anything besides what I just Googled, but that's kinda their problem, not mine.). 

 

Here's what I found:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

 

Conclusion:

 

Data from one study.  Success meant maintaining personal goal for >12 months.

image.thumb.png.1a0ec654dbe0975b6e329731a8ade4f1.png

  

Their point being that for low levels of dependence by DSM-IV criteria, moderation might be successful but for higher dependence scores, success at abstinence -vs- moderation flipped from roughly 1:2, to 2:1 then to zippo success at the "moderation" thing.

 

I think most people who have gotten to the point where they're seeing impacts in their marriage, friends, work - are probably past the point where moderation will likely be a successful strategy.  But that's just my hunch, and if your mileage or the mileage of someone you know varies, I'm honestly delighted.

 

Provided a person puts some protections to others in place (they should never drink and drive), I don't think any treatment has the track record of success to say "my way or the highway" here, but some pathways do have more success than others.

 

PS I hope you're mistaken that AA and its sibling organizations will be dead as an organization soon because it helps a lot of folks.

 

I didn't mean to sound so snarky - and I agree that only total abstinence works for some.  I can see how that "techinically" makes them an alcoholic forever, if they literally have a single drink and immediately spiral back to rock bottom again.  However, I've found that often times alcoholics just trade going to AA meetings every day for drinking.  It's very cultish - much like a religion.  For some, all they can talk about is sobriety.  And man, the caffeine and energy drinks.  It's as if their addictive personalities and traits have to be expressed through another drug - the drug of acceptance from other for their newfound sobriety, or loads and loads of caffeine.  I dated a girl a few years back that cracked a red bull by 10 AM and didn't stop pounding them all day.   For others, it's exercise.  I have a buddy that does marathons, 50K races, 50 mile races, and 100 mile ultra-marathons.  He said sometimes 1/3 of the field is either a recovering narcotics (NA) or alcoholic (AA) - it's as if they never sought out a psychologist/therapist or ever truly looked within/inward to work on (and resolve or get to the root cause of) the addictive personality, they merely traded the destructive alcohol or drug addiction for a healthier alternative  - but still an addiction.  There's no calm, contentment, or peace of mind with any addiction - be it sex, drugs, scratch tickets, excercise, booze, whatever.  I ha.ve a golf buddy that is 8 years sober - smokes weed all day, every day - but won't touch a drink.  Odd thing is, he goes to an AA meeting almost every day (even when he travels for work and is out of town) - but can't live without a constant flow of THC.

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