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Posted

He's not lying though. Look at Seau. He killed himself because he couldn't adjust to life after the game. I'm sure a lot of the things he talks about are legit struggles many of these athletes go through. Others have talked about the physical toll the game takes on your body, addictions to prescription drugs, money problems, and numerous other situations. It's something I think about often because my youngest son says this is what he wants to do, play football. He's extremely good at it and loves to hit people. From the beginning, starting at 8 years old, it's like a switch flips when he puts the pads on and buckles that chin strap. I'm not saying I know for certain he will make it to the NFL, but when you look at the bigger picture the question I ask myself is whether I really want him to or not. 

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Posted

You have to have a dark side to want to play a game where you knock the ***** out of other people?  Wow, that's some real insight Marty. 

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Posted

Unfortunately, people are going to kill themselves. Mathematically speaking, I’m surprised there aren’t more suicides of former players. Doesn’t mean it was caused by playing football in the NFL. 

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Posted

As someone whose dad was a professional soccer player, though not at the top level, I recognise some of what he says. My old man took like 10 years out of soccer in his 40s after playing from 16 to 35 and then coaching for 5 years and he basically was as lonely as ***** because his whole social circle came through soccer. Eventually he went back in age almost 50 to coach at a lower level just because he needed the involvement. It's a real thing for athletes the inability to adjust post career. 

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Posted

Welcome to the real world. People in almost every profession have a hard time leaving close friends and the bonds behind, as well as their self-worth starts to be questioned.

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Posted
1 minute ago, Beast said:

Welcome to the real world. People in almost every profession have a hard time leaving close friends and the bonds behind, as well as their self-worth starts to be questioned.

Absolutely!  It is just not sports.  It happens all the time to people in many different professions.  Just part of growing older.

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Posted
28 minutes ago, H2o said:

He's not lying though. Look at Seau. He killed himself because he couldn't adjust to life after the game. I'm sure a lot of the things he talks about are legit struggles many of these athletes go through. Others have talked about the physical toll the game takes on your body, addictions to prescription drugs, money problems, and numerous other situations. It's something I think about often because my youngest son says this is what he wants to do, play football. He's extremely good at it and loves to hit people. From the beginning, starting at 8 years old, it's like a switch flips when he puts the pads on and buckles that chin strap. I'm not saying I know for certain he will make it to the NFL, but when you look at the bigger picture the question I ask myself is whether I really want him to or not. 

 

He killed himself because of CTE, not because he couldn't adjust after the game but because his brain was so damaged that it was torturing his thoughts to the point he couldn't take it anymore.

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Posted

It’s not that far off.  Those brothers are a little odd, but the friends I’ve had who end up in my industry who played pro ball, have articulated similar points.  I didn’t read into his comments as he was trashing football, just what it can do to some guys.  As much as I love football, payed, and coached, I was a little happy both my sons after a lot of years in football, lacrosse took over their youth sports.  It went from all football, to football and lax, to just lax 12 months a year.  My oldest had a full ride in lax, but was funny in FL, the team that won the state championships approached my son as their second string QB after watching him throwing with his friends.  He had a cannon for an arm, and as accurate as you can imagine, but he lost the passion for football.  Part of that was due to the coaches when not me.  Bennett’s comments on coaches is partially true.  You can tell who is in it for the kids, amd who is in it for themselves.

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Posted

There's a dark side of every job. Some people just don't see it or haven't risen to the level where it is most prevalent. It's your choice to embrace darkness or embrace the light. Using a child's game as an excuse when you make millions is sad and pathetic. I've seen much worse in my industry but choose to avoid it. 

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Posted
20 minutes ago, Mark80 said:

 

He killed himself because of CTE, not because he couldn't adjust after the game but because his brain was so damaged that it was torturing his thoughts to the point he couldn't take it anymore.

No, it wasn't just CTE. That almost certainly played a part of it, but there was more to the entire story.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/9410051/a-year-later-one-junior-seau-close-friends-comes-forward-recount-version-descent

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Posted
3 minutes ago, BillsRdue said:

There's a dark side of every job. Some people just don't see it or haven't risen to the level where it is most prevalent. It's your choice to embrace darkness or embrace the light. Using a child's game as an excuse when you make millions is sad and pathetic. I've seen much worse in my industry but choose to avoid it. 


good point. While a lot of what he says is self aware and introspective, as you say, any business formed and run with people has a dark side.  I would bet because the amount of money at stake in the nfl and the nature of the business lends to some raw darkness moments, it exists everywhere.

 

consider the military complex. They are in the business of knowingly sending people to risk their lives, not just their health. 
 

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Posted

The more that money and/or fame and/or power is involved, the darker things get.  Throw in drug/steroid use and a life of constantly being favored because of what you can do/for people and it only gets worse.  And the problem with post-career life is that the excitement of the money and/or fame and/or power is gone or mostly gone and that's tough for people to deal with.  

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Posted
42 minutes ago, Mark80 said:

 

He killed himself because of CTE, not because he couldn't adjust after the game but because his brain was so damaged that it was torturing his thoughts to the point he couldn't take it anymore.

 

It wasnt all CTE. CTE often becomes the convenient excuse/scapegoat because we have such a warped view of mental illness and emotional struggle in this country. These guys would rather blame it on a brain injury than admit they have issues that are not so physical and far more abstract, nuanced, and therefore trickier to treat.

 

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Posted

i've mentioned it before, but my brother in law played pro sports for a decade plus.  he retired a few years ago, and it has been an issue.  why?  boredom.  they're bored out of their minds.  they came back "home" to live, but everyone here works during the day, has a schedule with kids at night, etc.  it's a sitting around all day, waiting for something to happen scenario.

 

it's a strange thing to be young, wealthy, retired, and unsatisfied.  having purpose is a thing.  it seems hard to feel sorry for someone in that situation, but it adds an odd stress to their family.  

10 minutes ago, DrDawkinstein said:

 

It wasnt all CTE. CTE often becomes the convenient excuse/scapegoat because we have such a warped view of mental illness and emotional struggle in this country. These guys would rather blame it on a brain injury than admit they have issues that are not so physical and far more abstract, nuanced, and therefore trickier to treat.

 

agreed.  i'd assume, (and i know it's dangerous to assume) that seau  was dealing with mental health issues for some time.  i'm sure cte did contribute, but there's likely more there.

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Posted
1 hour ago, GunnerBill said:

As someone whose dad was a professional soccer player, though not at the top level, I recognise some of what he says. My old man took like 10 years out of soccer in his 40s after playing from 16 to 35 and then coaching for 5 years and he basically was as lonely as ***** because his whole social circle came through soccer. Eventually he went back in age almost 50 to coach at a lower level just because he needed the involvement. It's a real thing for athletes the inability to adjust post career. 

 

It's not just that, but the social maladjustment starts for a lot of these kids in grade school.  They're the best athlete in the school, by a lot.  Especially football players get all kinds of adulation from that.  Everybody wants to be the star running back's friend.  So if you're not the star running back, who are you, and who are your friends?  Their personalities and their sports identity sometimes get so intertwined.  It doesn't seem to happen to kids who put equivalent effort into success at different endeavors that don't win so much adulation, music or dance, say.

 

Some of these guys have an answer.  Some of them don't.  It's a main thing that gets missed by the guys here who are like "if I were a star athlete and could pick from 18 hot chicks every night, I'd never get married", missing that what guys like Jerry Hughes or Vince Wilfork get from having a wife who came up with them is the emotional and psychological grounding from someone who believes in them/loves them apart from football.  That also becomes the core of the answer how they cope post-career.

 

Starting in grade school, a lot of these kids also get a "free pass" from peers and adults for maladjusted behavior because they're a star athlete.  So instead of learning to "throw a switch" on the field and channel their anger, they get away with antisocial behavior until it goes too far, or until they no longer have their football-star status to shield them from consequences.

 

Some of the other stuff, though, it's just normal.  I've had different jobs or activities where I got to where I felt close to and socialized with a group of people, then when I moved on, I never saw most of them again.  There have been a handful that I've stayed connected with.  Partly it's that maintaining a social connection with people you no longer see often is a skill, and not one I'm good at.  Part of it is that a lot of the connections were more proximity than "brotha by anotha motha", and over time the friendships where I had more in common than proximity sorted themselves out.

 

 

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Posted

When I read this my mind went back to a book that I would encourage you all to read called “the dark side of the game” by Tim green. It was published in 1996 and exposes a lot of this and more. 

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