I’m Going to be a Dad

[EmotionallyUnstable]

Nervous, excited, not sure what to do! Wife is 12 weeks, absolutely pumped but also scared sh$tless.
 

Can I drink even though she can’t? How about eating sushi?
 

Any seasoned vets out there willing to provide some insight? 

[Augie]

AWESOME!!!

 

Congratulations! It will change your life in so many ways, some are not easy, but all are great! 

 

I had a co-worker get pregnant years ago and she asked me what to expect. At first I struggled to answer, but I later went to her office and told her it’s tough, but it’s GREAT. The lows may be lower (“WHAT? Why did he bite him?”) , but the highs are MUCH HIGHER. There is nothing like it! 

 

Don’t worry about what you don’t know. You will figure it out as people have done for all of time. 

 

Geez, if you thought you were emotionally unstable now.........

 

 

.

 

Edited October 29, 2020 by Augie

[GoBills808]

my wife is 19 weeks along

 

my advice- learn how to cook and clean

[billsfanmiamioh]

6 minutes ago, GoBills808 said:

my wife is 19 weeks along

 

my advice- learn how to cook and clean

Also, take advantage of the DD while you can! Congrats! It’s definitely the best, but it will certainly be hard at times. The first couple months suck unless you just get lucky with one that will sleep overnight for good chunks of time.
 

Ours was pretty good, certainly could have been worse. You learn to function on little sleep but it still sucks. I would advise just making sure you’re both on the same page about all the things that have to be done. Talk about it ahead of time, even if it’s just the day of. “I’ll do the overnight feed tonight, but you do the laundry & clean bottles”. Stuff like that goes a long way. 

 

Another hard thing for me was just accepting all the clutter and mess that comes with having a newborn. I like to keep things fairly tidy & organized but  you’re both exhausted every day and sometimes there’s just going to be piles of laundry that doesn’t get folded, toys that don’t get cleaned up, etc. 

 

Also I advise getting into a pretty regular routine with bedtime, even at a young age. I thought my wife was crazy when she was suggesting it for like a 3 week old but man, I think it really helped as he got older. I’ve heard horror stories from other parents about trying to get their (older) kids to sleep and I’m thankful we implemented a routine and stuck to it early. 
 

At the same time, flexibility is key. More so I guess I’m thinking of pre Covid times as you’re trying to kind of re-enter society. Sure it’s great to bring the baby over to friends house for a couple hours or try to grab a bite out or something, but just be prepared for it to blow up in your face at any moment and have contingency plans / exit strategy in place. Best of luck and welcome to the wild ride!

44 minutes ago, EmotionallyUnstable said:

Nervous, excited, not sure what to do! Wife is 12 weeks, absolutely pumped but also scared sh$tless.
 

Can I drink even though she can’t? How about eating sushi?
 

Any seasoned vets out there willing to provide some insight? 

See above and congrats!

[DefenseWins]

Just remember that nothing will ever be the same ever again...

[thenorthremembers]

Its the best and most important thing youll ever be in yoir entire life.  Love them well.  Youre not perfect and its ok, just love them really really well.

[Gugny]

The best thing you can do is go on about life as if she's not pregnant.  Once you start treating her differently, she'll milk it and the next thing you know, you'll be rubbing feet and going to McDonald's at 3am.  Keep life normal and let her get through it on her own.  She'll appreciate you for it in the end.

 

Sincerely,

Divorced Guy

[Johnny Hammersticks]

This advice may be premature, but 3rd trimester sex is the best 😉

 

Congrats, brotha.

[CowgirlsFan]

My heartfelt congratulations 🎉🎊🎈🎈

[Greg S]

Congrats to you and your wife.

[BritBill]

Ask the doctor put an extra stitch in when it’s all over 👌 
 

Congratulations 👍 

[Miyagi-Do Karate]

12 hours ago, EmotionallyUnstable said:

Nervous, excited, not sure what to do! Wife is 12 weeks, absolutely pumped but also scared sh$tless.
 

Can I drink even though she can’t? How about eating sushi?
 

Any seasoned vets out there willing to provide some insight? 

congrats!!  
 

this is a cool site to track the development of your baby and then later on your child:

 

https://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy/week-by-week

 

 

[oldmanfan]

Congratulations!  To answer your questions, yes you can drink and eat sushi, although you probably would be advised to not drink much in front of your wife, not because of health issues but she could get ticked that you can and she can't.

 

Your life is about to be transformed in a way you never thought possible.  As much as I and other dads can tell you about what's coming in advance, it won't prepare you for the emotions you'll have when you see your child for the first time.  You will be overcome with emotions, ranging from the delight of seeing the child to the worries about how you'll pay for college and such.  All at once.  

 

Some practical advice.  Take over things like housework, laundry and such if you don't already; assuming your wife breast feeds she will be exhausted much of the time.  Listen respectfully to your relatives about things, then you and your wife make your decisions about how you want to deal with a new born.  

[\GoBillsInDallas/]

What you can look forward to:

 

[thebandit27]

Congratulations!

 

I have 7 year old twin boys and a daughter that will be 2 on Halloween. Being a dad is incredible.

 

My advice: don’t listen to people when they try to give you parenting advice 😂 There’s not one parent that has a clue what they’re doing—it is 100% making it up as you go and acting like you know what you’re doing.

 

 

[Beerball]

13 hours ago, EmotionallyUnstable said:

Nervous, excited, not sure what to do! Wife is 12 weeks, absolutely pumped but also scared sh$tless.
 

Can I drink even though she can’t? How about eating sushi?
 

Any seasoned vets out there willing to provide some insight? 

Congratulations! No matter what anyone tries to tell you, there is no owner’s manual. Have a blast!

12 hours ago, GoBills808 said:

my wife is 19 weeks along

 

my advice- learn how to cook and clean

Congratulations 808, very happy for you!

[ExWNYer]

Congrats!

 

I remember when my wife and I had our first. When she was discharged from the hospital, I drove home slow and in fear that someone would t-bone us before we made it to the house with our precious cargo. Once we were safely home, we sat on the couch, put his carrier on the floor between us, looked at one another, and then I said, "Now what the hell do we do?" and we had a good laugh. No nurses, no parents, no owner's manual, no instructions...but you'll both be amazed at how quickly instinct kicks in and you'll figure it out as you go and adjust on the fly. There is no 'one size fits all' way of doing it. Love them, protect them, teach them right from wrong, and hope for the best. It's the most important, frustrating, and rewarding job either you or your wife will ever have. I will say, enjoy the ride and take it all in....every good and bad thing along the way...it goes way too fast. My 'boys' are now 20 & 18 and I miss a lot of the 'kid' things but they have grown into awesome respectful young adults. I take pride in knowing that in some small way, we did our jobs. 

[Seasons1992]

Save your money. 🙂

 

Be there for your kid no matter what. 

1 hour ago, \GoBillsInDallas/ said:

What you can look forward to:

 

 

The amount of poo blowout washes I did with one of my kids..........goodness.

 

My parents remind me I was the same.

My other kid, zero.

[teef]

great news and congrats!  i have a 5 and 2 year old, and even though it's exhausting, it's so much fun.

 

i loved it when my wife was pregnant.  i had a designated driver for months, and   i drank like i was going off to war.  as gungy said, just live you life as usual, and help out as much as you can.  time gets limited after this, so enjoy it now.  

 

one thing people don't tend to tell you...the first three months are ***** awful.  you'll be happy and excited, but that quickly dies off and fear sets in once you take that ***** home.  it's survival mode.  

13 hours ago, billsfanmiamioh said:

Also, take advantage of the DD while you can! Congrats! It’s definitely the best, but it will certainly be hard at times. The first couple months suck unless you just get lucky with one that will sleep overnight for good chunks of time.
 

Ours was pretty good, certainly could have been worse. You learn to function on little sleep but it still sucks. I would advise just making sure you’re both on the same page about all the things that have to be done. Talk about it ahead of time, even if it’s just the day of. “I’ll do the overnight feed tonight, but you do the laundry & clean bottles”. Stuff like that goes a long way. 

 

Another hard thing for me was just accepting all the clutter and mess that comes with having a newborn. I like to keep things fairly tidy & organized but  you’re both exhausted every day and sometimes there’s just going to be piles of laundry that doesn’t get folded, toys that don’t get cleaned up, etc. 

 

Also I advise getting into a pretty regular routine with bedtime, even at a young age. I thought my wife was crazy when she was suggesting it for like a 3 week old but man, I think it really helped as he got older. I’ve heard horror stories from other parents about trying to get their (older) kids to sleep and I’m thankful we implemented a routine and stuck to it early. 
 

At the same time, flexibility is key. More so I guess I’m thinking of pre Covid times as you’re trying to kind of re-enter society. Sure it’s great to bring the baby over to friends house for a couple hours or try to grab a bite out or something, but just be prepared for it to blow up in your face at any moment and have contingency plans / exit strategy in place. Best of luck and welcome to the wild ride!

See above and congrats!

the bolded is still the hardest for me.  kid ***** is just everywhere.  i never mind my wife getting the kids things, but she never removes anything.  it just piles up.  i'm the cleaner in the family, so i'm constantly organizing things.  

[Captain Caveman]

14 hours ago, EmotionallyUnstable said:

Nervous, excited, not sure what to do! Wife is 12 weeks, absolutely pumped but also scared sh$tless.
 

Can I drink even though she can’t? How about eating sushi?
 

Any seasoned vets out there willing to provide some insight? 

 

Congratulations!

 

Can I drink even though she can’t? How about eating sushi?

 

How does she feel about it?  Having kids really highlights any gaps or problems in communication in a relationship, which can ***** ***** up bad.  Work on your communication, both speaking honestly without being a dick, and listening without trying to solve her problems (unless she asks you to.)  That's more marriage advice than Dad advice, but it's hard to raise kids in an unhappy marriage.

 

As for Dad advice, just do your best to be kind, patient, loving.  Kids are a weird combination of innocent and selfish (BIOLOGY) and they're usually doing the best they can.  There will probably be times when they're awful and you will hate them.  Take a breath, take a break and get over it.

 

Edited October 29, 2020 by Captain Caveman