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Elmo Dies Of Myocarditis After Receiving COVID Vaccine

 

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SESAME STREET - Reports have confirmed that beloved Sesame Street resident Elmo died unexpectedly this morning just a few hours after receiving the COVID vaccine.

 

"Elmo not feeling so good," Elmo reportedly said just moments before collapsing.

 

Officials concluded the cause of death to be "unknown" although medical examiners claim he died of massive heart failure due to Myocarditis - a disease almost never observed in 3-year-olds like Elmo.

 

"It's important to remember that our friend Elmo's death had nothing to do with the COVID vaccine, which is safe and effective," said Big Bird to reporters. "There is growing evidence that Myocarditis is caused by climate change. That's why you need to eat bugs and stop using SUVs, kids!"

 

Another local resident Oscar the Grouch claimed his neighbors are being used as pawns to make billions for Big Pharma even if it costs innocent lives. "Open your eyes, people!" he said before being shushed by Big Bird and carried away by FBI agents.

 

 

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/elmo-dies-of-myocarditis-after-receiving-covid-vaccine

Posted

 

'I Can’t Work With This Man'—After Repeated Gaffes, Biden’s Teleprompter Resigns In Disgust

 

 

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Joe Biden's teleprompter resigned suddenly on Wednesday, citing a toxic work environment. The teleprompter notified the press in a public statement.

 

The teleprompter reportedly discussed its role in speech writing, preparation, and delivery. It also commented on alleged abuse from the president in the form of inappropriate touching and verbal abuse.

 

"I can't take it anymore," the teleprompter read. "I give him everything he needs to say and he still ignores me. He goes off-script and talks absolute nonsense. It's humiliating!"

 

"Do you know what it's like to be completely ignored?"

 

According to sources, representatives from CNN began crying.

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/i-cant-work-with-this-man--after-repeated-gaffes-bidens-teleprompter-resigns-in-disgust

 

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Even a person who doesn’t consider themselves to be conservative has to still find these funny…It reminds me of how Leno and Carson used to be…👍

Edited by JaCrispy
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
19 minutes ago, B-Man said:

 

 

 

                           

                                     1cd3145ceebfc59a65778cc3568748b722b32c26

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, SoCal Deek said:

You are aware that your meme world isn’t actually real…right? 

 

Posted
28 minutes ago, BillStime said:

 

 

Zoom- about a mile over his head. Lets start calling Slimeball  Sheldon.

  • Like (+1) 1
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Posted
4 minutes ago, SoCal Deek said:

You are aware that the Bee is creative, purposeful satire right? It’s not hate speech. 

Satire about oppressors, white straight males, is acceptable.  Satire about woke defined victims (everybody but white straight males) or its sacred tenants is violence.

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