Doc Posted April 8, 2022 Posted April 8, 2022 Does anyone know how Canada was named? They had a guy pick letters out of a hat: "C, eh" "N, eh" "D, eh" 1
B-Man Posted April 11, 2022 Posted April 11, 2022 Clarence Thomas Receives Invite To Celebration Of First Black Supreme Court Justice April 8th, 2022 - BabylonBee.com https://babylonbee.com/news/clarence-thomas-receives-invite-to-celebration-of-first-black-supreme-court-justice 1
B-Man Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 Leftists Worried Elon Musk Will Turn Twitter Into A Place Where Terrible People Post Bad Opinions And Fight With Each Other All The Time. https://babylonbee.com/news/leftists-worried-elon-musk-will-turn-twitter-into-a-place-where-terrible-people-post-terrible-opinions-and-fight-with-each-other-all-the-time 1
B-Man Posted April 25, 2022 Posted April 25, 2022 Donald Trump To Share All 278,000 Tweets Everyone Missed While He Was Gone https://babylonbee.com/news/donald-trump-to-share-all-278000-tweets-everyone-missed-while-he-was-gone 3
B-Man Posted April 27, 2022 Posted April 27, 2022 Elon Musk's Twiiter Bid Fails After 138,000 Board Votes Found Overnight SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Elon Musk’s bid to purchase Twitter came up short after 138,000 board votes were found at 2 a.m., a company spokesman confirmed Tuesday. Musk had been in talks to purchase the company for $44 billion. “We really thought Musk was going to pull this one out,” said Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal. “The yes votes had a strong lead when I went to bed last night, but that was before we counted all the mail-in votes that one of our employees found in locker 142 at the bus terminal.” When the final votes were tallied, the takeover bid failed by a final tally of 10 votes for, 138,000 votes against. While the final result came as a shock to most observers, Agrawal said the election was fair. “Twitter takes election integrity very seriously,” he noted. “I can confidently say this was the most secure election in American history.” A shocked Musk took to Twitter Tuesday to express his outrage. “Those ballots…that’s a whole big scam,” Musk tweeted. “The only way I could have lost is if this was rigged! I refuse to accept the results of this vote!” https://babylonbee.com/news/musks-twitter-purchase-fails-after-138000-board-votes-found-overnight 1
B-Man Posted May 7, 2022 Posted May 7, 2022 Moloch Warns Of Looming Child Sacrifice Supply Chain Issues CANAAN—In a somber press release outside the burning gates of torment and suffering, the fire god Moloch warned of looming supply chain issues regarding child sacrifices. Moloch added that human sacrifices, purifications, ordeals by fire, mutilations, etc., would cease until the supply chain shortages were sorted out through democratically violent means. "My demon logistics department is reporting a supply chain shortage of children to sacrifice upon burning idols and in fiery pits," said the god of brazen gratification and hedonism. "The scarcity of innocent young lives to be brutally murdered at my feet is mostly due to the US Supreme Court's upcoming reversal of Roe v. Wade, led by white supremacist Clarence Thomas." An uncomfortably large percentage of the US population cried out in fear and terror at the prospects of not being able to sacrifice children of a loving Heavenly Father for their own, selfish desires. Eyes rolled back in their sockets and blood-curdling screams pierced the air in the name of egomaniacal convenience. "What about my career as a corporate drone who loves binge-drinking on the weekends!" cried one woman at the steps of the Supreme Court building while holding a protest sign reading "My Body, My Choice, My Vanity, My Career, My Parties, My Barren, Loveless Life." https://babylonbee.com/news/moloch-warns-of-looming-child-sacrifice-supply-chain-issues .
B-Man Posted May 28, 2022 Posted May 28, 2022 Parents Begin Disguising School Buildings As The Capitol So Congress Will Spend Billions To Protect Them https://babylonbee.com/news/parents-begin-disguising-school-buildings-as-the-capitol-so-congress-will-spend-billions-to-protect-them 1
B-Man Posted May 30, 2022 Posted May 30, 2022 Obama Encourages Americans To Pause This Memorial Day To Remember The Sacrifice Of George Floyd https://babylonbee.com/news/obama-encourages-americans-to-pause-this-memorial-day-to-remember-the-sacrifice-of-george-floyd
B-Man Posted June 11, 2022 Posted June 11, 2022 Loudoun County School District Announces Summer Enrichment Program For Kids Who Need Extra Grooming. https://babylonbee.com/news/school-district-announces-summer-enrichment-program-for-kids-who-need-extra-grooming 1 1
B-Man Posted June 14, 2022 Posted June 14, 2022 Biden Administration To Provide Grief Counselors At All Gas Pumps. https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-administration-to-provide-grief-counselors-at-all-gas-pumps
B-Man Posted June 14, 2022 Posted June 14, 2022 Biden Says The Economy Is As Vibrant And Healthy As He Is https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-says-the-economy-is-as-vibrant-and-healthy-as-he-is . 1
B-Man Posted June 18, 2022 Posted June 18, 2022 Chickens Hold Controversial 'Fox Story Hour' In Chicken Coop https://babylonbee.com/news/chickens-hold-controversial-fox-storytime-hour-in-chicken-coop
B-Man Posted June 21, 2022 Posted June 21, 2022 After ‘Lightyear’ Bombs, Disney Quietly Cancels Their Upcoming Movie ‘Brokeback Woody’ https://babylonbee.com/news/after-lightyear-bombs-disney-quietly-cancels-their-upcoming-movie-brokeback-woody
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