Way OT, But need advice

[Hawk]

I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbor said

'Are

you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.

[Surfmeister]

I hear ya. It sucks for you. My wife thinks your MIL is going through Menopause. Some women turn into EVIL Monsters during that time. My MIL was Satan's minion during that time. And her husband was so hen-pecked he let her get away with all of the crap you could imagine.

 

Maybe if you could all she a certified Family Shrink. It might help. That is it might help if after the session you accidently ran her over in the parking lot.

 

SERIOUSLY: Your best bet is to make up the best reasons why her behavior is damaging to the kids. This society is ALL about the saving and protecting the innocent children.

[BADOLBILZ]

Your answer is somewhere between here:

And here:

My wife's mother sounds every bit like your wife's mother. We've taken the route of cutting off communications with her, keeping her out of our lives and our home, and moving forward being better people for recognizing how we DON'T want to be.

 

It's not for everyone, but it works for us. Do you have children?

300447[/snapback]

 

I agree. At some point you have to cut bait. Especially at the point in your lives where you are busy raising children and trying to make a living. Pretty much have the same arrangement with my in-laws. 'Cept my FIL is just as bad as the MIL. The two of them feed off of each others misery and manipulation.

 

I smiled and put up with it for 7 or 8 years and it seems it just made them work harder to get at me. Finally, they messed with me at work. I made the mistake of offering to take an abandoned warehouse property off of his hands, and he turned it into an attempt at a real estate score. There was a simailar abandoned warehouse site next to it. That guy was offering for 1/10 of what FIL wanted. I offered to pay FIL 3x what other guy wanted. FIL wasn't interested, told me to "go for it" with regard to other site, so I bought the other place for the dime.

 

I didn't realize at the time FIL was trying to play me because he told me he had plans for his site, but I found out otherwise when he immediately came over and started griping about property line after I moved in. Seems I had placed some containers 5 feet over an unmarked property line I had no idea was there and he hadn't set foot on in over 20 years. Previous owner of my warehouse had used that land. Removal would be an enormous process(2 days) as they were at the back of the line. I was busy as hell, so I told them to step off or they were going to get the boot next time they came to my HOUSE. I would move the containers in a month when they were put into use.

 

They stepped off for a couple weeks, then out of nowhere they had a cop come by to threaten to arrest me. I told the cop to piss off and he left after telling me what an A-hole my FIL was, and the in-laws have been excommunicated ever since. The containers got moved when I said they would, FIL hasn't done a damn thing with his site and MIL and FIL are excommunicated from me. I don't restrict my wife and kids from seeing them, but after how they treated me, wife and kids don't care to see them very much. Manipulative MIL is dying of a new terminal illness every day. FIL is still just an a-hole no other man on earth can tolerate.

 

I am at f'ing peace. I never knew it could be this good! Lay down the law. I recommend it.

[RJsackedagain]

How many of you guys have an out of control mother in law?  I have been married to my wife for 11 years.  4 of those she didn't speak to us.  She is the type of woman that comes over the house and re-arranges your furniture.  She despises me because I stand up to her...I'm not Rambo with her, just tell her how I feel.  I have the total support of my wife, but it is coming to a point of no return.  We have family functions and she makes all others (my family, my wifes dad and his family) totally uncomfortable.  I have tried to put a good face on it, but alas.  She still sees me as the man who "stole" her daughter away.  Would like some input, thoughts, or stories...just to know I'm not alone. Thanks and Ron Mexico rules.

300391[/snapback]

I think shooting her is league in some states if she becomes a big enough problem

[NCDAWG]

Well I think I got my answer. My wife wrote my MIL a letter and stated our feelings towards her. She replied and said she will never apologize to anyone and that she cannot forgive us for what we have done. So due to that she is no longer speaking to us....ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[brihs2005]

Well I think I got my answer.  My wife wrote my MIL a letter and stated our feelings towards her.  She replied and said she will never apologize to anyone and that she cannot forgive us for what we have done.  So due to that she is no longer speaking to us....ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

               

301090[/snapback]

 

 

Good for you ncdawg... hopefully you and your families lives will be enriched by the fruits of this experience.

[NCDAWG]

Yeah, we are both thankful. Due to her disposition that will "never allow her to stoop to our level", we are getting on with our lives. Just another paver in the walk-way of life. And thank you to all you TBDers that responded, it helped more than you can possibly imagine. Just to know you are not the only one to go through this is a blessing.

[erynthered]

Yeah, we are both thankful.  Due to her disposition that will "never allow her to stoop to our level",  we are getting on with our lives.  Just another paver in the walk-way of life.  And thank you to all you TBDers that responded, it helped more than you can possibly imagine.  Just to know you are not the only one to go through this is a blessing.

301142[/snapback]

 

 

 

Good news, I’m glad you finally made the right decision. I also had issues with someone, thou, it was MY MOTHER. The woman was high maintenance to the extreme. She’s been out of mine and my wife’s life and our kids for over 12 years. Friggin Paradise brother. Don’t ever let her back in, EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MadBuffaloDisease]

She replied and said she will never apologize to anyone and that she cannot forgive us for what we have done.

Did you "do" something specific, or is this a general "everyone has ruined my life, woe is me" BS story? I think you're making the right decision here. Nothing good seems like it could ever come out of a relationship with a person like her.

 

BTW, let me state that I haven't had any problems with my IL's, lest anyone get that idea. Sure we do things that tick eachother off at times (although we basically use my wife as the sounding board and just move one without a word), but nothing terrible. I'd say my mom is more of a PITA to my wife than anything, but again, nothing terrible, just mom stuff. It's a shame relatives just can't get along sometimes.

[IDBillzFan]

I agree.  At some point you have to cut bait.  Especially at the point in your lives where you are busy raising children and trying to make a living.  Pretty much have the same arrangement with my in-laws.  'Cept my FIL is just as bad as the MIL.  The two of them feed off of each others misery and manipulation.

 

  I smiled and put up with it for 7 or 8 years and it seems it just made them work harder to get at me.  Finally, they messed with me at work.  I made the mistake of offering to take an abandoned warehouse property off of his hands, and he turned it into an attempt at a real estate score.  There was a simailar abandoned warehouse site next to it.  That guy was offering for 1/10 of what FIL wanted.  I offered to pay FIL 3x what other guy wanted.  FIL wasn't interested, told me to "go for it" with regard to other site, so I bought the other place for the dime.

 

  I didn't realize at the time FIL was trying to play me because he told me he had plans for his site, but I found out otherwise when he immediately came over and started griping about property line after I moved in.  Seems I had placed some containers 5 feet over an unmarked property line I had no idea was there and he hadn't set foot on in over 20 years.  Previous owner of my warehouse had used that land.  Removal would be an enormous process(2 days) as they were at the back of the line. I was busy as hell, so I told them to step off or they were going to get the boot next time they came to my HOUSE.  I would move the containers in a month when they were put into use.

 

  They stepped off for a couple weeks, then out of nowhere they had a cop come by to threaten to arrest me.  I told the cop to piss off and he left after telling me what an A-hole my FIL was, and the in-laws have been excommunicated ever since.  The containers got moved when I said they would,  FIL hasn't done a damn thing with his site and MIL and FIL are excommunicated from me.  I don't restrict my wife and kids from seeing them, but after how they treated me, wife and kids don't care to see them very much.  Manipulative MIL is dying of a new terminal illness every day.  FIL is still just an a-hole no other man on earth can tolerate.

 

I am at f'ing peace. I never knew it could be this good!  Lay down the law.  I recommend it.

301056[/snapback]

If you were within hearing distance of me, you'd have heard me say after reading this: "Muuuu-ther-!@#$er."

 

Good for you. Sometimes you just have to cut it off. There will always be people who will tell you "Anything can happen any day. Don't walk away because when they die you'll regret it."

 

Yeah...I'll worry about that when it happens. We speak to neither my father nor her mother. It's kind of sad, especially since Jayden was born, but the reality is I simply don't want him subjected to people like that. And neither does my wife.

 

This is my family now, and it would be wonderful to have family in his life, but I'll start from freakin' scratch before I let them in.

[jarthur31]

Is it possible to only see her at her own house?

 

Don't invite her to family functions.

 

My step-mother was like this. If you gave her the moon it was not the stars. I took my dad aside after a few years of this, and told him that until she changed she was NOT allowed in my house, PERIOD! He was welcome any time, but if he showed up with her I would not answer the door. Life went on without them.

 

It took two years, but finally she was at least able to show up, be quiet, and fill her book of memories with all the sh------- food we served, our poor taste in furniture, how we went out of our way to make her feel slighted, terrible child rearing techniques.... ad freaking nauseum. But she did it with her mouth shut and pretended to have a good time.

 

She died lonely and alone several years ago. You reap what you sew.

300535[/snapback]

 

I'm sorry to hear that brother. I just don't understand why MIL have go out of their way to make their sons or daughters in law feel that way. Is it their duty in life to make others feel miserable becuz they do?

[NCDAWG]

Did you "do" something specific, or is this a general "everyone has ruined my life, woe is me" BS story?  I think you're making the right decision here.  Nothing good seems like it could ever come out of a relationship with a person like her.

 

BTW, let me state that I haven't had any problems with my IL's, lest anyone get that idea.  Sure we do things that tick eachother off at times (although we basically use my wife as the sounding board and just move one without a word), but nothing terrible.  I'd say my mom is more of a PITA to my wife than anything, but again, nothing terrible, just mom stuff.  It's a shame relatives just can't get along sometimes.

301177[/snapback]

When my wife and were living together my MIL wanted a huge (500 people) wedding. My wife stepped up and told her no, my MIL then proceded to drive over to the house and tried to physically abuse my wife. I just called the cops, and that did it. We didn't speak to her for 4 years and when my daughter was born, i thought it would be right for her to know her grandmother(she seemed rehabilitated). The MIL went to counseling and therapy. While there has been no reoccurance of the physical abuse, she is an Italian Mother who can let go of the past. I have never took her ****, and she could never come to terms with that. She has tried to buy, bribe, and guilt me into things...but in the end my wife had to take the step by herself...and she did. So I am now onto happily planning our summer vacation to Bills training camp with an easy mind. And thanks again to my TBD bretheren.

james

[TigerJ]

I agree that if there is to be a resolution to this problem, it's got to come from your wife.

[John from Riverside]

I have been really fortunate with my inlaws.....who treat me nicer then my own family does.....

[aussiew]

I agree that if there is to be a resolution to this problem, it's got to come from your wife.

Well said.

Don't make your wife choose sides between her husband and her mother. It's so unfair. It sounds to me like your MIL is mentally ill. In that case, reason isn't going to work.

[Pine Barrens Mafia]

I'm lucky, my mother-in-law is great! She even sticks up for me when the wife gets a little....cranky.

 

 

My father-in-law on the other hand, drives me nuts soemtimes.