Alaska Darin Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the members of ANY Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these retards mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma and yet nonetheless may be in need of nourishment. Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008 and beyond, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. I couldn't care less if a hundred million religious zealots send e-mails to whomever in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business too. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMadCap Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Ha Ha! (in my best Nelson Muntz voice). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erynthered Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 being of sound mind and body I really don't think many here will qualify because of the above statement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRC Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobblehead Posted April 5, 2005 Share Posted April 5, 2005 Can you notarize this for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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