MadMark Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Today is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much butt, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! Here are the rules you must follow: * You can only slap one person per hour - no more. * You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day. * You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant. * No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher. * CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!" * If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day
Alaska Darin Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Stojan's happy "fat broad" is now a drooling bruised mass in the corner. Of course, so is Stojan.
Beerball Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 WATCH OUT T-Bone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 296193[/snapback] For the first time in my life I can say...I wish I was Nervous Guy! One per hour, so make em last!
Beerball Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Stojan's happy "fat broad" is now a drooling bruised mass in the corner. Of course, so is Stojan. 296197[/snapback] When did he get the bruise?
stevestojan Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Stojan's happy "fat broad" is now a drooling bruised mass in the corner. Of course, so is Stojan. 296197[/snapback] First off, I don't bruise. Second... . . oh damnit, this is the kindler, gentler TBD...
MikeH Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 a drooling bruised mass in the corner. Of course, so is Stojan. 296197[/snapback] How is this different from any other day ???
OnTheRocks Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Today is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: 296188[/snapback] or as we call it in my office, "Tuesday".
/dev/null Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 * You can only slap one person per hour - no more.296188[/snapback] not enough time in an 8 hour work day
Alaska Darin Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 not enough time in an 8 hour work day 296228[/snapback] Handle it like the Stooges - line up three or four and only swing once. It's within the spirit of the law.
IDBillzFan Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 In honor of Ike Turner, can we also use the heel of our boot to slap them around?
respk Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I think this should be once a week or more if possible. I work with Marcia Brady. She looks, talks and acts like Marcia Brady. She is also a "micromanager" even though she doesn't manage anybody. She feels free to comment on everyone else's work and how it could be done better. All under the disguise of "I'm just here to help." Unfortunately she is a woman so I couldn't ever slap her, but the thought of doing it is what keeps me going on some days. It would be just a short windup, kind of cup the hand to get a good sound. Not too hard, don't want to knock her off her feet. Just hard enough to make her stumble.
/dev/null Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I think this should be once a week or more if possible. I work with Marcia Brady. She looks, talks and acts like Marcia Brady. She is also a "micromanager" even though she doesn't manage anybody. She feels free to comment on everyone else's work and how it could be done better. All under the disguise of "I'm just here to help." Unfortunately she is a woman so I couldn't ever slap her, but the thought of doing it is what keeps me going on some days. It would be just a short windup, kind of cup the hand to get a good sound. Not too hard, don't want to knock her off her feet. Just hard enough to make her stumble. 296259[/snapback] give her a good smack then she'll never be a teen model
Tux of Borg Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I'm at school, can I slap a member of the faculty around instead?
TheManTheMythTheLegend Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 I'm at school, can I slap a member of the faculty around instead? 296294[/snapback] of course.
crazyDingo Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Handle it like the Stooges - line up three or four and only swing once. It's within the spirit of the law. 296232[/snapback] A LOOPHOLE!
MadMark Posted April 5, 2005 Author Posted April 5, 2005 The classic "irritating" employee is the one who won't STFU! No matter how many times you say okay or all right, they keep right on going with diarrhea of the mouth. In most cases you have to get up and walk away. Every company has one or more of these folks. 296300[/snapback] The smart ones learn not to engage those individuals in conversation at all costs. Keep all responses to one word minimums to avoid any chance of extending communication longer than necessary. GO BILLS 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MattyT Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 PHEW!!! I had already slapped a co-worker today before I knew that it was allowed. Now HR can't touch me!
Buftex Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 The smart ones learn not to engage those individuals in conversation at all costs. Keep all responses to one word minimums to avoid any chance of extending communication longer than necessary. GO BILLS 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 296317[/snapback] I have been at my current job for 4 years. The other day I realized that I hadn't actually engaged anyone in conversation for well over 6 months...doesn't stop them from engaging me...I must say, though, just saying, "Hmm" or "uh-huh", or "yeah" or "jeez" sure does make them less likely to you as their first option to sap the life out of... I work with this one woman. She is very nice, very pretty, but my gawd, she can ramble on about nothing forever...the worst thing is, it is a relatively small office, so she tells everyone the same story, and you have to hear it like 6 or 7 times during the day. She repeats herself constantly, and frankly, just bores the crap out of me...I used to be polite, and feign interest, but I just can't anymore. When I hear her telling her long drawn out story to someone else in the office, and then another, I almost feel like I am on death row, waiting for my turn....funny, I still like her all and all. But, we are not married, I feel like I should only have to tolerate this stuff from a significant other... The late great Johnny Paycheck once sang "Excuse me, I've got someone to kill"...but in the spirit of the new, friendlier TSW, excuse me, I've got someone to slap!
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